a dispassionate search for truth might be better than a passionate one; our emotions often get in our way.
Your reply cleared up a few assumptions i made. just so you know i am an against. i have read a fair amount of amateur and classical philosophy from many different sources. to be brutally honest i have not found any philosophy that rationally justifies the existence of god.
On that same token, i have never found a philosophy that rationally denies the existence of god; hence my being agnostic.
Rene Descartes unfortunately lived in a time when the Christian church controlled just about everything. If you examine Descartes meditations closely you will be able to pick out hundreds of mistakes. He was forced to find a way to justify the existence of the Christian god, and it really does show.
Leo Tolstoy is another example of someone who supports Christianity, claiming that it is the only absolute answers in existence. Again unfortunately, Tolstoy was incredibly depressed (he was not unlike a spoiled child). He wondered why peasants thought suicide was a great sin and atrocity when he often wanted to commit suicide himself. He owned many slaves, lots of land, had kids, and was a famous writer. Yet with all his accomplishments he found his life devoid of true meaning. in the end he turned directly to Christianity.
though he did not rationally justify Christianity, he showed that it is sensible to “believe” simply to make yourself happy. This of course does nothing for the harsh skeptic except to reinforce skepticism.
Pascals wager is a particularly bad omen for the rational justification of Christianity. pascal said that “it would be better to believe in god than to risk hell” of course we know that this does not justify anything outside of fearing god.
to be honest i have never read philosophy that can give rational reasons as to why god exists, but also there are no rational reasons for doubt.
At this point in my life i see it as a moot point. when i die i will find out, and not before then, so for now i decide not to pester myself about it.
Most meta-physicians have a hard time getting philosophical respect for the simple reasons that metaphysics has no solid base in reality. in essence it is the philosophy of considering hypotheticals.
Keep looking for philosophy that supports Christianity, but don’t limit your search there. if you find something decent i would be interested to read it, give me a PM if you ever do find something.
As for now, like i have explained, i have only encountered what i consider failures at a justification for gods existence. i mean, if there was a logical proof for gods existence then we would have less atheists right? 
You would think that since this is not the case, we would have less theists, but it is not so. people don;t seem to need rational foundations for their metaphysical beliefs which i daresay border the esoteric. I honestly don;t believe that it’s possible for us to understand “god” or prove gods existence or non-existence.
It’s like asking someone if they believe in the devil… Some people believe in the devil and are content to lump all the bad things in the world as being caused by the devil. It’s like a default answer; a belief.
The only difference between a theist and an atheist is that the theist will stop asking questions once they get to the cause; god or sometimes the devil. the atheist is simply more fussy, being more concerned with deeply specific reasons for things.
So if we use god as an answer, it works. if we make that leap of faith.
The atheist would counter this by looking for answers, but as it is, we have only ever found more questions.
the atheist cannot prove the theist wrong, and the theist can never prove his beliefs to the atheist.
there is nothing wrong with being of either belief, the theist claims it to be of utmost importance, the atheist claims it to be a laughing matter, and the against claims it to be a matter of opinion.
Not to get all sentimental on you, but i think that in these types of cases people just have to ask what makes them happier. i believe the meaning for every life is to try and find a path to happiness. for some people theism is the best path, for others merely asking questions will make them happy.
For me the easiest and most rational thing seems to just be agnostic.