Any good at all?
- Yeah, sure
- No, not really
- Eh, what do I care?
I wrote this for an assignment in my Theatre class. It’s a bit of hodge-podge in terms of having quite a few Philosopher’s views mentioned and all of that, as well as some theology and blah blah bu-bullshit. At the very least, it’ll be good for a chortle.
SEE YOU IN HELL by Steve Gilewicz
Characters
-Elliott: Everyday guy in t-shirt and jeans. Rational, depressed, moral center, big crush on Hailey
-Hailey: Good looking girl in fashionable clothes, doesn’t want to hurt any one’s feelings, knows what she wants and goes after it. Elliott’s love interest, she doesn’t feel the same
-Jeremy: Non speaking part, Hailey’s love interest. Good looking, Tall, facial hair. Wears button up shirt un tucked, hooded sweatshirt, & sandals
-Sam Barakiel: Tall, thin man in worn clothes, looks and sounds like Tom Waits. Talks fast, very animated. Otherworldly
Elliott has been dumped by Hailey for her old boyfriend, Jeremy. We see the two break up and Elliott’s reaction and disappointment. They have a short discussion on the topic of destiny, and things ‘meant to be’, Elliott believes in free will instead of fate. After Hailey leaves, Elliott contemplates his situation, and is joined in conversation by Sam who has been listening and observing the whole thing. Sam questions Elliott more about his thoughts on freedom and love. Sam points out that love is forfeiting your free will in favor of something better. Elliott views love and freedom as a journey constantly moving forward with somebody who compliments each others personality. Sam likes this theory, and reveals his true identity as a fallen angel. He does the ‘Normally I don’t do this kind of thing, but I’m off work and the situation interests me’ pitch, and Sam takes Elliott to where Hailey is now with her boyfriend, Jeremy. Sam and Elliott watch as they make out. Haile and Jeremy get more heavily involved throughout most of the rest of the play. Outside, they discuss theology’s relationship to free will and love. Elliott asks Sam if he wants Elliott’s soul. Sam explains how Hell is living the everyday life one leads knowing that they are the only people to praise or blame for their circumstances. The soul is both freed and damned by this, and what most people think love is just finding somebody to share this miserable existence with. Love is really self actualization and embracing the choices one makes. Temptation being not a test, but a loop-hole into doing what we want to do vs. what’s good for the society. Elliott comes to his own realization of what love is and what it means, and Sam leaves him with that. Elliott drinks his coffee by himself, and is writing something down as the lights fade to black.
Hailey: I think you’re a nice person.
Elliott: Well, what good does that do me?
Hailey: I mean it! You’re a great guy, you’re funny, smart and super sweet, I just don’t think you and I work out.
Elliott: And you think you and him? You two work out, right?
Hailey: Yes. I know it’s hard for you to understand, but I’ve only know you a little while
Elliott: You met me a week after you met him and now he’s moving in with you! Whatever. Just proves my point.
Hailey: What’s that?
Elliott: If I keep up being this ‘nice guy’, I’m going to be alone for a long time.
Hailey: Don’t be so negative! There’s a girl out there that’s perfect for you. And when you meet her, you’ll know it was meant to be.
Elliott: Bullshit. That’s easy for you to say, you’ve known it was meant to be with the last 3 guys you’ve dated. I’m sorry, but there no such thing as destiny or ‘the one’ because if that’s the case, than that means there’s no choice in the matter, and with no choice, there’s no free will. That your life, and who you spend it with is already written.
Hailey: You’ll find a girl, I swear. It’ll happen, I promise.
Elliott: No you can’t promise that. No. Not unless you personally make certain that it will happen. The only way I’d buy that is if I know that, like, you had one of your friends you were going to hook me up with or pass along to one of your single friends or something. You can’t say it WILL happen.
Hailey: I told you, I don’t know any available girls.
Elliott: All the more proof.
Hailey: You’re so negative.
Elliot: It’s True! I’m not being negative! Your choices, everyday, what you eat, what you do, what you’re like to other people, those are choices. My choice was to treat you like an actual person and not just a sex object, and it’s resulted in this.
Hailey: In What?
Elliott: In this conversation here, which I’m Sure is going to be one of the last ones we’ll ever have.
Hailey: You don’t know that, we can still be friends, we just can’t hang out as much.
Elliott: You mean at all.
Hailey: No, I mean that I’ll be spending more time with him because he’s my boyfriend.
Elliott: Do you know how many times I’ve heard that? How many girls have said that they’ll still be friends with me and then I Never hear from them ever again?
Hailey: <checks watch, gathers things to exit> Look, I don’t know about those other girls, but they’re obviously bitches who aren’t worth your time.
Sam Barakiel: <he’s been listening to the entire conversation from the booth over, this is the first time he talks, neither of them hear him> aheh heh, Irony.
Elliott: Whatever. Give me a call this week sometime.
Hailey: I will, hun, take care of yourself.
Sam: <from booth, he turns to Elliott, talks over his shoulder> You do know that’s probably the last time you’ll ever talk to her in any real form of conversation, right?
Elliott: Yep.
Sam: Just making sure. Oh, you don’t mind me, uh, interrupting you do you?
Elliott: No man, it’s cool, just, eh, don’t worry about it. It’s just . . .
Sam: What? You need to vent or something? <Elliott motions Sam to come over to his table, Sam does so> To be honest with you, I’ve been listening to the whole conversation and*
Elliott: Great. Now somebody Else witnessed another crushing humiliation. Did you happen to tape it? I’m sure my mom would like to see it.
Sam: No, I think you stood your ground exceedingly well. You called her on her own bullshit.
Elliott: Clearly you must have been listening to another conversation.
Sam: No no, you were making valid, well thought out points, and she was just, hmm,
Elliott: Attempting to let me down easy with a lot of tried and true standard, non-committal one liners to try and make me feel better?
Sam: Exactly, couldn’t have said it better myself.
Elliott: But where does that leave me now? She’s off with dude, and I’m here mulling over the events of the evening with a total stranger. “One is best punished for one’s virtues.â€
Sam: Zarathustra.
Elliott: Close, it’s from “Beyond Good & Evilâ€.
Sam: Good enough. Oh, and I’m not a total stranger. My name is Samael, Samael Barakiel Your personal liaison to hell.
Elliott: You’re serious.
Sam: You think that just because I’m a demon, I should have horns and a pointy tail?
Elliott: How the fuck should I know?! <getting more frustrated, and irritated> I don’t even know you. What am I even doing talking to you? I don’t even know you.
Sam Barakiel: Yes you do. You know me very well. <as Sam speaks, lights dim around the diner, but grow around Sam and Elliott from directly overhead giving it an otherworldly quality to the stage, the other booths are darkened out entirely, Elliott comes to realize that Sam is who he says he is throughout this little speech> You’ve visited your own branch of hell. You know that Hell, true hell is knowing that you alone bear soul responsibility for everything in your life. You know this to be true of all things. Existential despair that comes with knowledge. You know that what makes this world run. Why are you sitting here now alone instead of having what you think you want? Well? Why is that?
Elliott: Because I chose to treat her like the person she deserves to be treated like.
Sam: And does she deserve to be treated that way? What’s so fucking special about this girl that you’re not treating yourself with more dignity?
Elliott: Because she showed me attention.
Sam: So does your fucking Dog, but you don’t get bent out of shape when when she licks the mailman, do you?
Elliott: A girl’s a lot different than a dog.
Sam: aheh heh. Yeah, they cost more. Look, you’re not in it for just sexual gratification, are you? So what else is it that you’re looking for? You spend your time looking for something that you know very well doesn’t exist. Why?! Why is this such an issue?
Elliott: Because in spite of all this, maybe even because of it, I know that I don’t want to do it alone. I’ve worked to hard in becoming who I am today to just keep it all to myself. I have a great deal of love to give, but I’ll be damned if I’m going to let Fate decide who I’m going to give it to. It’s going to be on my terms. But right now, I’m so tired of carrying this load all by myself that I’m willing to let anybody accept what I have to give.
Sam: heh.
Elliott: What’s funny about that.
Sam: Do you know what you’ve just said? There’s no turning back now. You’ve done it.
Elliott: What the fuck are you talking about? Look, are you going to try to buy my soul or something, why are you here? Why are you bothering me?
Sam: You’re going backwards! Don’t do that! You’re so close!
Elliott: Backwards? What the fuck!? Look, you’re a demon! Are you after my soul? Because you know I don’t believe in that kind of thing! My Soul is Me! I want to Share my soul with somebody, yes, but I don’t want to sell it to some demon that’s going to use it for whatever reason in Hell.
Sam: You’re IN Hell! <lights go out except for the 2 again> This is Hell! This, Right here, right now, is Hell! Hell is other people. You KNOW it is! You KNOW you’re In it! I’m not interested in buying your soul! Look, I am a DEMON! Do you know what that is? A Fallen Angel. My Punishment is to spend the rest of Eternity away from the presence of God. That’s where we are now. Look at that! That’s Hell Also. She may think her prayers have been answered, but they’ve fallen on no ears at all. We are living outside of God’s reach.
When Adam and Eve ate from the tree of knowledge and were cursed out of the Garden, away from God’s presence, where do you think they went?! They joined us, the damned. And WHY are we damned? What did Lucifer get us thrown out for? Because we wanted to chose! We Wanted our Freedom from everything! We wanted to make bad decisions and fuck things up! That’s how we learn! And now, God is Dead because he had no one left to be a God to. You can’t have a religion if you don’t have anybody who believes in you.
Elliott: Well then why . . . <stops talking, takes in all of this. He looks at Hailey and Jeremy still making out, things are getting heavier> Do I need to see this? This is not what I need. What I want, what I need is somebody to share this with. Somebody to, just, love. It doesn’t even need to be love right now. I’m so sick of this! This Is Hell, this whole ordeal, this whole fucking world and all I want is for somebody to share that with! But it seems that the choices I make aren’t the ones get me what I want.
Sam: Then you’re making the wrong choices.
Elliott: But if I made different choices I wouldn’t be the same person I am today. I’m not too happy with myself all the time, but I’m not going to be one of those people who wants to be happy all the time. That’s bullshit. One emotion used all the time is sick. I don’t care if it’s happy, sad, annoyed, afraid, whatever. I just want one of those emotions to be love, and being loved.
Sam: So what is it that has led you here? Why is it that I’m here talking to you, handing out the secrets of this shit-hole globe? It’s not because I’m after your soul, you know? It’s not because I want to lead you into temptation. All temptation is fear of doing something that they want to do. Are these things necessarily healthy for them? No, but it doesn’t mean it’s bad for them either. That stuff is cultural anyway. What is considered fine now was a moral outrage about a hundred years ago, and I fucking lived it. These days a person has less to worry about. Look man, I ain’t here to lecture you. I’m here because you’re on the right track and I hate to see it squandered away. The worst thing you could do right now is say “Maybe she was meant to be with him.†I’m just giving you the information so that you know which choices to make. It’s you, Elliott. Your choices you could make need to go beyond most people’s moral choices. I’m not saying go out and do whatever you want to anybody you want, I’m saying that whatever is done out of love always takes place beyond good and evil.
Elliott: Good lord, you’ve been reading a lot of Nietzsche.
Sam: I didn’t have to read it, I helped him come to most of it on his own. All I did was show him how.
Elliott: Ugh, this is way too much thinking than I intended to do tonight, and do we still need to be watching this? I’m getting sick!
Sam: Yeah, anyway, we really don’t want to see what she’s got under the hood. Trust me. I’m a Demon. I’ve seen things that would, let’s not even think about that.
Elliott: Uh, that’s good to know? I guess?
<Lights fade to black, we return to Elliott and Sam at the diner>
Sam: So what do you think?
Elliott: <sits for a while taking it all in, you see him wrestling with this for a while, Sam waits and watches contently> I really need to do more to get what I want, but I’m not going to stop being me to people. I’m not going to turn them into who I want them to be, and I’m sure as shit not going to let them change me. I just, I don’t know. This is just a really lonely time for me and I just wanted to share it with somebody physically.
Sam: Yeah, man, I know. Another reason we got kicked out was for the women, but that’s a whole other conversation, and looks like you’ve got some work of your own you need to do. I’ll leave you to it. Really, don’t give up on this. The future doesn’t exist for the ones who won’t write it.
Elliott: Alright, take care, I’ll see you in, uh, Hell, I guess.
Sam: You bet.
<Elliott is left alone at the diner table, he takes a sip of his coffee, reaches down, grabs a book and starts to read. Lights fade to black>