Hey Zoot I hear ya.
I can honestly say i was and is where You are…
and still am …the lostness of america is obvious…at seventy five …you figure,the old guys on fixed incomes have it made…but d they?
I used to think so …but not no moh…Why?
Because people always think a head. They always say to themselves, well when i get there it will be so and so, such and such. But i still goto have my two glasses of wine.
It’s said,sad, that America is so free, yet so much discourigng, demoralizing. So much quality has been eaten up by commercialism, so much lack of brotherhood, caused so much pain, and for a while that pain became a pleasure, eve the nacotic high has left it’s flavor, because, there is no contrast, without contrast, the high is only hgh with respect to what it can be contrasted to, and the routine job, perhaps, may be askence of 'what am i doing wasting my life in a mediocre job like this?
It’s ok for middle class kids to to sub marginal, and do tuff as an avant gad expression of their freedom.
but, get this, it becomes not ok, when the contrast becomes too straight, too conventional, too crazy.
Then it becmes a rce to get staight, or go jhide uneground somewhere, anywhere.
There is no place to hide anymore, and the plastic fantastic mask isno longe it, You have to become it, the conventional, the boring, and as for me, the ridiculous… To become ridiculous, laughed at, gives me great poeasur, just like Turd indicated in not elaborated idioms. Therefore, i try holding my peace,
and resolve for now to go on fearless, into the wild blue yonder of whatever. The pain will always be there, but thats the price, of realizing that You are alone, born and die that way, no one holdong Your hand.
