It is my belief that human sexual attraction is naturally derived from evolution. Males base their attraction almost entirely on looks. While females base their attraction on survival and replication value.
To sexually attract either member of the opposite sex would require to have these values which they seek. A woman increasing her bust size, makeup, clothing, botox, and the number of other cosmetic surgeries. While men focus on obtaining status, power, money, and leadership (building a tribe). Like animals alpha males obtain almost all the females while beta males obtain far and few between. In studies they have shown that a woman who cheats is more likely to be pregnant by that man than the husband. A woman seeks alpha males during ovulation. A female during ovulation will unconsciously wear less clothing to reveal more of her to compete with other women. Women oddly aren’t looking to attract the opposite sex with these techniques but to compete against other females but in doing so obtains the alpha male.
So all one needs to do is convey these characteristics in order to attract members of the opposite sex - and solely these characteristics.
A male may increase his status by wearing clothes that stand out from the norm. Like certain type of fish and birds the brighter and the more obvious their coloring is the more they tend to copulate. Although this may seem odd at first, since the more colorful they are the more likely they will be killed and eaten. The reasoning behind it is that DESPITE these “bad” characteristics they can survive. And in doing so proves that they have a good genetic makeup. Wearing clothes that stand out is subject to much ridicule in society and social norms. However, if one can take the harsh reactions then it sets him up to attract many women. The things that women find the most attractive are the hardest to fake.
Women are attracted to men who are with other women. It takes a woman much longer to find out if such a man is truly alpha and really worthy of having sex with her. While a man makes a decision pretty much instantaneously solely based upon looks. Men with women around them help other women notice him and begin to become attracted to him. Women are naturally followers. They notice that other women find him attractive so if all these women find him attractive their must be a reason. He must have excellent genetic makeup and it helps her weed out those individuals who are not of high quality.
To be an attractive female - increase your looks. To be an attractive male - increase social value (how others perceive you) and fundamental value (leadership, status).
Obviously I find my girlfriend physically attractive. But falling in love with her was certainly not born from that attraction. It was what she represented at that time of my life, when I had just recovered from a destructive part of my life.
I can see certainly that what arouses me is often physical, childbearing hips, nice bust etc. But would that be enough for me to want to raise children with them?
I think there are other far more important qualities that arouse me more. Kindness and innocence indicate that a woman is more likely to care well for my children for example. Intelligence will improve their chance for survival.
Similarly women say that they need a man with a sense of humour. Because though this does not take away from physical prowess it does mean they are less likely to become aggressive to those in his family.
Maybe that’s not enough, but sexual attraction is based on for the most part for men physical attraction. Raise children? Oddly men are more faithful due to lack of choices. Although there is the stereotypical belief that men cheat on women more it’s only a few men, actually. Most women cheat on men. Women do probably over 80% of all divorces. And during ovulation women will cheat on their husbands with more dominant men and have the more beta male raise their children.
Humor takes away from being physically aggressive towards family? really?
I know humor is a very dominant trait. There are two kinds of humor - 1 of the self deprecating kind and 2 of the charming kind. The first type is not attractive at all. It’s based on being a clown. No female is attracted to someone they can not respect. The second type of humor is seen in many alpha males. This tendency is actually because they are extremely confident and comfortable. When one becomes comfortable in the situation things are not as serious for them as they have less to worry about. So humor shows that this individual is a high status male.
Also you can’t play on anecdotal evidence of yourself as an example of what is and what isn’t the case as it’s very biased and is very misleading. Mostly because everyone wants to believe they are the exception.
Actually the part of your brain that lights up when you feel attraction is wired into, in complex and inter-connected ways, the part of your brain which lights up when people feel romantic love or partner attachment.
Which is why anti-depressants which can mess with normal sexual psychology/effects, can jeopardize feelings of romantic love and partner attachment on top of sexual side-effects.
suggesting it didn’t come from that attraction may be true, but it was heavily envolved, the system is dynamic and sexual lust can turn to attachment or love, love can turn to sexual lust , blah blah.
either way, all those brain areas are closely closely envolved.
The reson I said it is because I had a stirng of Girls at the time I met my current girlfirend. I was for perhaps the first time in my life enjoying being single. It was when she started talking about her values and ideals and seeing that they were so close to mine which made me spend more time with her, and that time spent together evolved into love
Most so called alpha males I know are far from funny. In fact I think the higher up the soical chain you go the worse you are at being charming. This is because you get out of practise. People laugh at your jokes because of your status not because your actually funny.
I cirtainly dont think im an exception, and I see no problem with relating my owwn experiences to those of other men. I am a Man after all.
As I recall, sexual selection is often seen as a very haphazard fickle cousin of natural selection. While some things will be constant like wide-hips, other features that are sexually actractive are simply caused by feedback loops. That is too say if men start liking large lips, than women with large lips will do well. Futhuremore, men you like women with large lips will have more daughters with large lips and over the long term do better as well. Now, you add to this culture and memetic transmission, and you can have rapid cycles of fashion- Blondes may be in for a couple decades and Redheads for a few more. Also, complicating this in human is our rational capacity. Brainpower developes to solve promlems that occur to rapidly for evolution to deal with effectivly. While bacteria reproduce quickly and respond to poisin by developing natural restistance, human beings respond to poisins with gas masks and other countermesures. Similarly, we can use our minds to choose mates (within certian constraints of course.) In my own life, I’ve noticed when I learn certian things I like about a woman, I begin to concentrate more on their positive physical features. Conversely, if they begin to exspouse ideas I find offensive, I begin to notice their imperfections.
So, if you say you like math, I’ll look at your backside more.
yeah, human relationships are indeed simple if not very siple…
there are several key thigs by doing you can get way better with women…
but the question about humor is very important, why do womens like men with sense of humor…???
my version is that only a brave and confident man can bring up jokes in public situations and also humor makes the approching and getting to know each other part much easier, you eliminate that uncomfortable silence…
Humor as I understand it is pretty much a baromiter of intelligence. Very often a joke is charaterised by lateral thinking connecting two ideas that aren’t obviously connected. And laughter indicates understanding. Often in ESL classes I would tell a joke in a new grammer structure to the students to see if they understood what I was saying. One of the best was contrasting “I ran over the cat,” with “I was running over the cat.”
Wow, I went way off topic there didn’t I. Anyway, if they girl doesn’t laugh she dosent’ “get” you.
And that is because any asymmetries in a body usually indicates a) poor health growing up, b) parasites, c)‘bad’ genes. The female breast is very sensitive to the aforementioned factors which could cause asymmetries.
If differences between males and females, in sexual attraction and other characteristics, occur purely as a result of evolution, then they should be consistent across all cultures. Afterall, all humans share the same evolutionary heritage. Women in tribal villages should be attracted to the same things in a partner as women living in concrete jungles with 24 hour McDonalds restraunts.
Alternatively, sex differences could be a result of differences in social structure.
In the developed world, the gender divide is much smaller, the roles that men and women play are much more similar than in a tribal community. Men and women have equal access to education, the same opportunities in the workplace and a similar income. In a society such as this, women aren’t dependent on a man with high status, power and money to help with replication and survival.
There seems to be evidence to suggest that in societies where there are smaller differences in gender roles, there are smaller differences in what males and females are attracted to.
Just with nature vs nature(its not all of one and nothing of the other), sexual attraction cannot be explained purely by evolutionary psychology.
Where is your evidence to say the contrary? Have you even read anything on evolutionary psychology or biology?
Thank you for confirming my originally point. You are correct in your assertion.
The fundamental principles have not changed. It’s evolution and it’ll take a long time to change before it does.
You are absolutely - incorrect in your assumption. I think you want to play what you heard from a friend of a friend here. And yes sexual attraction can be purely explained in an evolutionary perspective.
It does NOT matter if the gender gap is decreasing because women can support themselves financially. It does not change their dna. It takes generation after generation to change societys dna.
Have you ever seen a gay couple? 2 dudes? Why do you think one act like a woman and one acts like a man? It’s because that is what sexual attraction is based on.They can’t change their DNA and what they find sexually attractive.
I don’t think that’s true. Despite popular fiction, in my experiance most Gay men act like men. I never been able to go to a gay bar and pick out the fem gays from the masculine gays. Furthuremore, by acting feminine, I found I turned most gay guys off. So unless you have hard data, I’m going to be higly skeptical of that claim.
Why would you say that culture has no impact?
Just consider how the standards of what is considered beautiful differ from culture to culture. In your original post, you advise women to get a boob job, wear make up and fashionable clothes. Perhaps, some consider this to be beautiful. But in other cultures, obesity is seen as attractive. The person is so rich that they can afford to gorge on food. answers.google.com/answers/threadview?id=392421
I doubt however, that you or I would find these people sexually attractive, at least on first impressions anyway. Culture must have an impact.
Consider another case. There is a place in the Yunnan province of China where women are the unquestioned rulers. thingsasian.com/stories-photos/3481
In this society, the finances are all controled by women. The man doesn’t even live at his lady’s house and if they break - up she gets all the money. If I was a man in this culture, I’d be looking for a woman with status, power, and money. All the things you mentioned that women look for in blokes.
Honestly, I think you would be very hard pressed to find a scientist who would say that attraction can be explained completely by genetics. If you can please, please show me.
Attraction is a combination of culture and genetics.
sigh most of the traits which the sexes find attractive are cross cultural as in they exist everywhere largely. In places where its slightly different, well adaptations are faaaar from perfect and often times set up crookedly. Not everyone when faced with a bear feels fear, that says some-thing about them not the evolutionary explanation. Besides EVO explanations usually accounts for varying behavior depending upon environmental factors interacting with adaptations. Also adaptations qre flexible opposed to static. Different cultural sexual attractions (where they do exist) could just as easily be called different products of the SAME adaptation. For instance males might only find large breasts attractive when theres enough food to support those types of women. (example prob not true.)