From the get-go, she believed that she was ugly; she believed that she had no place, and because of that, she had always assumed no husband and no kids. At the time, she was content with this. It was easier for her to understand people and their reasons for life by being the bystander that she positioned herself to be. She went to different churches and studied differnt religions to find no point in needing an explaination as to why we are all here. She watched as old ladies’ hands shook as they fumbled for another cigerette as they found their moments peace at the first inhale. She grew to understand why a drunken husband could hit his wife, and why beaten children grew up strong. She undertood that poverty makes you value life, and gives you a reason to live for it; she knew that the most troubled adults had near perfect childhoods and were either ignorant or needed proffesional help. Her understanding of the life given to her grew as she realized how a society like ours, could enjoy and accept watching serial killers, rapists, and drug dealers on television. Out of all of this, she made herself believe that life was given to her so that she would never have the burden of a true life, a wonderfully painful and pleasurable life, and she accepted that. Her granfather said that she would change the world and her father thought of her as a prophet, because he couldn’t explain why he or she was alive. No one could bear the truth that she was not meant to observe and learn and grow to be perfect; no one person in her life could accept that even though she had the gift of understanding Pandora’s Box, she was meant to live out each mistake and each moment of happiness. When you hear her singing, cherish it. You may not hear her happy songs again, and when you see her smile as she puts another piece to puzzle of life together, let her embelish the moment, for the next is another year away. Don’t question her methods or theories when it comes to black and white, because in the spectrum of our eternal light, there is no room for circumstantial colors. The only thing that we people seek in our lives is peace, and some of us won’t have that calm until we breathe no more.
I wrote this in an anger, really. . . First thing I’ve wrote in a while
I like the character in this story - develop her if you care to. This passage stood out to me the most. It becomes a social commentary and you make some interesting, though not altogether new, observations.
Not altogether true but I can understand the thinking - hardship can bring with it, if endured, a strength of character lacking in those who had a reasonably painless childhood.
I relate to this line very much. Feeling I am that troubled adult and I had that near perfect childhood. I think your conclusion that ‘ignorance’ or ‘professional help’ are a bit crude but I understand that those who had a near perfect (whatever that means) childhood may well be more self-invovled, narcissitic and selfish.
This line is repeated quite a lot and it’s not a bad repition - a hook - but oddly enough - you never really develop ‘how’ or ‘why’ she came to understand these things…you should try and flesh your ideas out more in that respect…give Her a Why…as well as observing people and watching their lives…explain why dynamic she see’s in the interaction.
Why can she understand a Husband can beat his wife?
Why can she understand that a child that is beaten may be stronger?
I found this piece quite interesting and with some good insight.
Don’t hesitate to expand on this.
cheers,
colinsign
What I meant is the understanding that alcohol does not only bring out your sub consciousness, but it also amplifies the Id. If a husband is fighting with his wife and all he can think about his hitting her pretty little mouth, then he will. Alcohol doesn’t make a man something he is not, it shows a face that the man would rather hide.
I knew many beaten children who grew up strong, as well as many who were spoiled, and grew up to wind up in jail, or just to be awful people in general. the ignorant statement came from Emerson, “Envy is ignorance;”
Those who grew up troubled have a tendancy to hate themselves, and aare ignorant to self improvement.