Should Workers have GPS anal probes attached?

Philosophy Forums Society, Government, and Economics
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[quote]
On 2 August 2013, the Daily Mail ran an exposé outing Amazon.com UK for “tagging” employees with GPS and subjecting them to harsh working conditions; describing the employees as “human robots”. The newspaper stated that Amazon used “controversial” zero-hour contracts as a tool to reprimand staff.[27] A Channel 4 documentary broadcast on 1 August 2013 employed secret cameras in Amazon UK’s Rugeley warehouse to document worker abuses and made claims similar to those of the Daily Mail.[28]/quote]
en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zero-hour_contract

I just learned about this… and it got me thinking.

How about we design a probe shaped like a spider, with a dildo shaped abdomen, and everyday workers arriving to the job site, instead of clocking or signing in, just start walking around in the dark recesses of a warehouse, until… if and when, a mechanical spider leaps out of the dark and shrieks, clamping its legs down into your buttock, and with a great heave forward, plunges deep into you.

The moment the spider enters you, you start getting paid. It can read your metabolic functions, obviously is in a prime position to know if you really need a bathroom break or not, if it senses your low on fluids, and spritz your large intestine with water recycled from your anal sweat, thereby rehydrating you. It can attack it’s arms by regular adjustment into pressuring various muscles and ligaments, to make you walk, bend, squat, and lift… and its forearms can send electrical impulses through the spine to your arms… so no more needs for forklifts… mothers have been known to lift cars to rescue their children… the human body can take much mire than we subject it too.

By integrating traders, or retractable spikes into it, we can also effectively get rid of write ups and firings. A GPS system can effectively track and synchronize employees, gaining more effective labor relations.

Once the spider leaves you, popping out, your pay ends. Instead of being paid purely by Time, your paid via metabolic function.

No one will clean the spiders, they will clean naturally, via a organic method, such as rain or puddles in the parking lot. This will be a rare occurrence, as it will be naturally protected against disease by the natural oils and residues of the large intestines.

For office workers, a leaping, shrieking spider will not be necessary. Nearly a large phallus sticking out of a chair, preferably the one they work with daily sitting in (a shared one would be unnecessary, as it will be little more than a time punch card people would hurriedly wait in line to use), will suffice… lan lines can run into it, networking the information via Cisco or Oracle.

Office workers merely need to sit on it, to hear it confirm work time has begun, via the sound of a Sigh, or the rumblings of a distinct phrase, such as “Sounds like someone has a case of the Mondays”. It can taste your chemical Neuro signatures, telling if your frustrated enough to qualify as working, and if not can taze your nuts, or reach in and fuck with your Uterus, scarring it up so your can’t conceive if your not putting maximum intellectual effort into the work day.

Everytime you stand up, you plop and unplug, ceasing payments for useless activity such as chatting at the water machine, or filing labor complains with HR.

Tell me this isn’t a more efficient system than anything Capitalism or Socialism developed.

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Uuuum, no. Do you read alot of SciFi??? The idea sounds like a book…

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:bulb: :open_mouth:

with love,
sanjay

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I didn’t start reading science fiction, outside of Dune, prior to Iraq… However, I have since systematically watched every episode and movie in existence, in any language I can find period, as well as various historical dramas.

Example, the Chronicals of Riddick movie Pitch Black is based on Johannes Kepler’ s sci-fi workhttp://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Somnium_(novel

and Inception on
en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hypnerot … _Poliphili

Season 3 of Lexx
en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/True_History

I’ve also done some pioneering work on reconstructing Petronius’ Satyricon, once it occurred to me he took his story lines from Platonic Dialogues, using a backwards Stoic outlook of worthless Cynics systematically investigating every vice and disease they listed. It’s going to be a long time before anything definitively is out by me on that, given the Doxographical requirements…

However… I am not aware of any predecessor to the Imago presented in my story that gives it it’s unique character, outside of adopting the creepy sound effects of spiders/spider like aliens leaping, such as the face huggers in aliens or taking the like ‘Sounds like a case of the Mondays’ from the movie The Office, I merely wanted to incorporate generic mimes geometrical to induce a surprise impulse with anal reversion to alien sexual impulses that are mechanical ‘at hand’ productive results and not the sexual perversion of the androids from the Alien movies who mirror human sexuality with violence… mimicking and learning from our unconscious sexual cues while lacking a sexuality itself. I present its reversal… a desensitization of sexuality, a desexualization of working conditions that is still dirty, but no longer flirtatious… it’s brutal and transparent, is a form of non-reproductive rape that does nothing to further the cause of labor… creating a lifestyle that promotes reproduction and continuation of the human race… with its face value opposite… sterile homosexual rape that harms people working for it reproductively and physically by viewing them in the immediacy of current productive needs.

The humor takes positive cues from 19th century economic theorists, especially Karl Marxs… with his sexual inversion of the proletariat as cogs in the machine and sexually perverted borgoise… Which is suspicious and ironic on my part given I am not a Marxist, and am openly opposed to all Hegelians of any stripe, be they Nietzscheans, Anarchists, Nihilists, etc. Why I do that? Hmmmm…

So, are you happy with the explanation Kriswest, or do I need to go more in-depth, and we can all look at my post like it’s a post modern art exhibit? Or can you just take a thread such as this at the face value reaction, like Sanjay did, and let it do its long term work in the subconscious?

Boobies. I like boobies.

5

It doesn’t seem a whole lot different than what most employers seem to want now. You should patent it. You could make alot of money.

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Contra, :slight_smile: The Scifi was tongue in cheek.
Any one willing to subject themselves to such humiliation is barely human. Any employer that suggests such a thing deserves a hard right hook. Only my opinions though, I might be outnumbered.
If an employer hires and keeps lazy people then they are idiots.
FWIW: The supreme court just declared that cops cannot search through a person’s phone without a warrant as it contains the person’s private life. Now your suggestion can be modified in intrusive ways to monitor private activity. Blackmail, extortion, etc. “You will do this or I will do this” and you can fill in the details of what this would be.
As I said: Uuuum no.

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Yeah, it also limited the SEIU from forcing people into unions and stealing money from them for funding political parties against their will or wishes, but I still have money from work theived from me by them to support far left political beliefs.

Jack shit is going to change. I await the approach of the Nancy Pelosi Spiders to Obama the fuck out of my ass. Supreme Court cant stop them, they are beyond the law.

At least my non existent medical insurance requires me to buy birth control so the spiders dont impregnate me.

Stuck at the ballgame again with Mr. Turrets Syndrome. Pittsburg Pirates vs. Arizona Diamond Heads… or something like that. Got my transfer, just… also got some baseball games too.

Pittsburg has a very limited genepool, italian polish crowd. What the fuck you looking at… yeah, go fuck yourself, lets go Bucks.

I wish those spiders would descend on everyone here right now. Thousands screaming as it happens.

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How will they find only humans?

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Distinctive butt smog, they will sniff us out. Not to say the occasional Raccoon or Bonobo wont get it too.

The other team is called the Dracks apparently.

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ROFL :slight_smile: Contra that just is just scary and funny at the same time.

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Yeah… the idea of Arizona having a team is pretty scary and fucked up, I agree.

This guy… hes going to get me arrested. Im going to become the first guy in the history of the MLB to get arrested holding a philosophy book.

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:slight_smile:
I am an Arizonian, born, raised and bred. I live in Mississippi but, the zone is my other home.

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I rest my case.

Pittsburgh was losing 2-0 till bottom of the ninth inning, then did a amazing turn around winning it. Funny part is, he wanted to leave the game in the 8th inning emphatically, saying it was the worst game ever… the usher started calling in security. Right then… it started the turn around. Security never came.

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And life follows the circle

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It’s quite an ironic comment coming from you.
Every post you have made, to date, related to human rights, working conditions, and the employers right to hire and fire as they see fit, would suggest that the philosophy you have exhibited before would mean that employees can take it or leave it, and that employers can set whatever working conditions they like, make whatever contracts they like and pay whatever they like; that there is no rule or law that ought to compel and employer to comply with any directive they feel might compromise they freedom to pursue their business.

I think your own employer should have the right to surgically keep that stupid pussy on your head. Then they can charge 50p to gawking tourists to throw wet fish at the cat.

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No… I take a very ethical approach to work conditions, especially from the employee perspective. Its why I am so hard pressed against guys like you who seek harm and dictatorship of themselves over everyone else and knee jerk leftist rants without thinking shit through and asking what is really going on… trying to affix the neurological nature of apparent desires to its roots, and find from that reverse engineering the correct technological, executive, and legislative solutions. I care not one fucking diddly about the counter cultural giddyness/approach in and of itself beyond and analysis of what its sickness through inept misunderstanding is, and its antagonism and egress when it violently and irrationally acts on its impulses, or just drags stuff out pointlessly into limbo.

If I find evidence of a actual opposite class existing, then I look at them too, with similar standards.

As most of you cant be Cynics… many of you would die or just turn twisted… there is little use for you philosophically than to list your moans and fantasies of utopia and self via a analytic index of human sickness, to be analysed and diagnosed. Its your only purpose in existence… you cant possibly be of use otherwise to greater humanity, as your unwilling to self analyse and get to the root of your problems. The need to extrovertly orient all your problems on the very hands that feed you is a clear sign of insanity, especially when the entire goal is to prevent other hands to rise up and feed others. You either reject it and choose Cynicism, or you accept the reality of the human farm and try to make it rationally better by studying the insanity of the various players involved, find patterns, and make it apparently more sane and palatable.

Short of sticking you in a hamster cage, and feeding you hamster pellets, I know of no way of freeing you from the apparent externals of your own largely self inflicted illness of seeing evil in bourgeoisie or factories or dollar bills.

If you want to deface the currency and stuff, fine… actually do it, and prepare for the lifestyle repercussions. On this forum, only I and Joker did it. He turned Sith… it can be a painful and maddening experience that destroys your social sense of self and others. In me, I grew the deepest roots in the soul. End result is, both of us lost alot of respect for people and institutions. I in too many ways went farther in my search… analyzing every aspect.

Your part of the sickness Lev… it cant exist without you. Irony… as we learn from psychology, is closely related to comedy… and comedy is geometrical in the juxtaposition of character types. If you see Irony in a logical inversal, then I see Comedy in your confused propositional reversal to accept same and otherness.

One of the clearest indicators of a common mean of human sanity isnt the appearance of irony, but the recognition of the same in human diversity as a common, stable human anchor in thought. Mean are in a sense sane in this statistical outlook. They can remain irrational in mass if their logic never reaches their proposed ends for themselves, and each other in such a system… its a crisis when everything goes foul, and everyone starts lying about one another.

So I dont accept your lies. You are a man possessed by Irony, unable to laugh. Unable to become a Cynic, you require a system, but profess not to be able to live in a system, and also fail to think rationally. End result is… accept your straight jackets, and hope philosophers can sort your issues out, as your clearly incapable of doing it yourself.

There is no irony in statecraft, only in mental sickness, and paradoxical theater. You should learn to see the humor in such situations.