Simply Haiku Journey

Quietly detach!
Shades of Autumn Gold whisper.
Stillness holds. Breathless!

Whirling winds sweep through ~
Nature’s Knowing ~ fall the leaves.
Chaotic Beauty!

Slowly shuffling through ~
such fated dissolution.
Stoic surrender.

Shadows dancing with
sensuous streaming sunlight.
A Viennese Waltz.

Autumn’s misty mood
slips into Winter’s dying.
Self descends to Sleep.

Silence permeates!
Creative transformation
Becomes the hatchling.

Rising up ~ breathes fire.
Emerging ~ flaming freedom.
Life transcends its Death!

arc—do you want feedback?

:laughing: Well, though I’m not feeling especially hungry at the moment, I always welcome feedback.
So what say you, little reptile? Just crawl upon my hand and express yourself.

my feedback would be about-- what you are trying to express…what beliefs of yours are in that poem…
i want to know about your psyche…

No beliefs, little reptile.
Just the external drawing out of me an inner experience and outer expression.
And an ‘awareness’ of how life-giving letting go and detaching is or might be if we could only transcend our fears of dying…I mean all of those little moments of dying which we go through, which we are unwilling to first embrace and then surrender, because we need to be enclosed within our little coccoons.

Poor Nature - it has so much to teach and to offer but we simply do not hear it saying - “Look! Mira! You are just like me.”
We can’t have the miracle until we see the miracle.

I would also like to know about my psyche…that flows from my experiences. I think that’s ever changing.

Beautiful concept of the Phoenix set in haiku format. More, please.

My feedback: Marvelous. Truly transcendent, charming, and full of spirit. Well done!

windchimes

…piercing shadows

…listen

In clear green water

…bubbles rise

…i should know

…i am the fish

depth

(intensity

lightness of touch…

Today: Nothing. Just existed.

Sartre Nausea

Thank you, Ierrellus - that means a lot to me, coming from you. :slight_smile:

Thank you, jonquil. We never know when we will be taken on some kind of wonderful journey - and when we are called, we just have to respond, no matter where that voice takes us. :slight_smile:

I love windchimes…they do seem to speak to us…they permeate Everything - and ‘listen’ is such a beautiful word, somehow.
Piercing shadows show us to ourselves - like the shadows dancing on the caves.

Yes, that common understanding is what allows us to write haikus. It’s not just set of rules; it’s a sensibility. This is why I broke the 5/7/5 rule.

it wasn’t meant to defy your effort.

(i just took off on it

:slight_smile: Don’t worry - you didn’t. I simply thought of it as a continuum…and I liked what you wrote.

I usually write poetry which rhymes. I wanted to go beyond myself and to branch out on a simpler path though truth to tell it wasn’t so simple.
My first haiku actually -except for the tidbits in the Haiku thread.
Haikus do not always have to be composed in the 5/7/5 rhythm - it’s wonderful to break the rule but to keep the spirit…

:laughing: That sort of reminded me of this sweet zen e-card which I sent to a friend once…of a lake and wonderful ripples (I love ripples) swirling out in every direction and in the middle of it is this fish coming through to the top. It thrilled me. Perhaps that fish was you.

Windwalker,
All who listen may not hear. Senses make sense when what is within you identifies with what is outside you. In a novel draft I wrote of man who listened to shit but heard fertilizer. What you listen to and hear came across clearly in A.D.,s poem, which is why I called it beautiful.
Apologies for having more beer than sense that day.