Peachy,
You are operating according to the idea that people cannot relate to you… that is one reason they may “reject” you (even though, one could argue, your not having been receptive to this idea, processing it as a good idea and altering your outlook according isn’t really something that you can “control”, it just hasn’t happened).
When I am alone in my room I process things differently–depending on the task, “turning dials” to openly experience and outlet levels of intuition, logic or emotionality at levels unfitting in most social situations; however, as much as I enjoy this “freedom” (to “be myself”–IE not feel the cognitive dissonance of a desired action versus a social obligation/value/etc.), I don’t actually think it is “who” I am, and that another’s inability or unwillingness to share/accept/appreciate any of these passions/interests/beings with me means we can’t have some “common ground” to enjoy our interactions.
You have a lot more in common with these people than you think… if you only define them according to what you don’t associate with yourself, your body is going to express tension (or at least a disinterest), so they’re going to respond in turn. Why would they treat you like you have something to offer them (pleasant subjective experiences) when your cover is titled “Don’t Read”?
I am a different “self” with different people. I’m not being “fake” because there is no actual “self” (that exists through space and time) anyways; “I” am what “I” (subjectively) experience–that which I experience is what I am, even if “I” (at that moment) am differentiating it from my “self”.
Sometimes I am as silly as a child, sometimes I am sarcastic smartass, sometimes I am sensitive and helpful (if someone is having a problem), sometimes I am very teasing or flirtatious and sometimes I very carefully and meticulously “talk philosophy”, etc… but what all these different “characters” (that are genuine, natural and comfortable expressions) have in common is that they result from both my desire to enjoy the moment I am and my appreciation and acceptance of, and my sympathy with, others who also (above all else) just want to enjoy their lives.
I am not going to act like I have found all the answers… there are still times when I feel dissatisfied that nobody can understand and accept me for my (delusional) “self”-concept, but this quickly dissipates, because I know it isn’t relevant; there are people with which, from time to time (some with a greater frequency and intensity than others), “I” have the pleasure of experiencing a special, joyful moment that carries with it the understanding that both of us, in that instant, merged into a single happiness. There are some stars you can’t see by yourself.
I am not saying society and culture (as it is now) doesn’t harm people, and doesn’t program them with ideals that only get in the way of happiness, but there comes a point (well… a long series of many, many points) where complaining about it no longer helps, because you realize doing so only feeds the addiction (used to numb the concerns of one’s ego). I had a bad habit of cursing people (according to generalizations) as well, but as I grew more thoughtful, rational, creative, etc., I would keep “crashing”, and realize my role in all my misery. Eventually, I could no longer swallow my fix without reflexively throwing it up.