I got this from a friend who translated it from dutch, who got it from a friend whos a teacher.
Bus: Vehicle that travels twice as fast when running towards it than when you’re in it.
Babysitter: Youth who has to act like an adult so adults can go out and act as youths.
Banker (1): Person who will give you a loan if you can prove you don’t need one.
Banker (2): Helpful person who will borrow you an umbrella when the weather’s nice, but takes it back when it starts raining.
Scout: Kid dressed like an idiot, led by an idiot dressed like a kid.
Capitalist: Person who goes from airconditioned work, into airconditioned car to his/her airconditioned club, into the sauna.
Sweater: Piece of clothing a kid has to wear when his mother feels cold.
Dance: Vertical frustration from a horizontal desire.
Advisor: Person who looks at your watch, tells you how late it is and has you pay him.
Economist: Expert who will know tomorrow why today didn’t unfold according to the predictions he made yesterday.
Easy: said of women who have the scruples of men.
Gynacologist: person who works where others have pleasure.
Intellectual: person who can think of something other than sex for two hours straight.
Headache: women’s most used contraceptive.
Marriage: bond that allows two people to solve those problems they wouldn’t have if they were single.
Nymphomaniac: term used by men to denote a women who has more sex than them.
Orthodontist: magician who can make the contents of your pockets go into your mouth.
Pessimist: experienced optimist.
Programmer: person who in a very complex way fixes a problem you don’t have.
Progress: doctrine of making simple things difficult.
Psychologist: person who looks at everyone else when a beautiful woman enters.
Clock alarm: device to wake up people who have young kids.
Sardine: fish without head that live in oil.
Secret: information one only gives to one person at a time.
Snobism: buying stuff you don’t like with money you don’t have to impress people you don’t like.
Synonym: word to replace another word of which you forgot the spelling.
Teamwork: the possibility to pin faults on someone else.
Celebrity: person who works hard all his/her life to get famous and then put on sunglasses to not get recognized.
