I have experienced a complete spiritual rebirth and I would like to know if others here have gone through it. Soon after it I’ve gone through some religious experiences and went into psychosis the diagnosis was catatonic schizophrenia.
Here’s something about my religious experiences.
When i was younger i had this little spiritual awakening when i had read few philosophical and psychological books and a little bible and i became a morally uptight for a little while but then i soon forgot about it.
But about a year ago I was extremely depressed and i started to question my faith again and also read some religious material on internet. Then suddenly one night something hapened and i belive i was born again and i was cured out of depression that night. I also became very uptight morally again. Things went into direction that I couldn’t feel prideness which I felt weakened my faith (it’s hard to explain). So i couldn’t even play a boardgame because it made me feel proud if i successeded in it. And it was sin to compete in a boardgame because god has given all the skills we have. During these extreme experiences I at one time felt I saw god’s face and then everything seemed perfect. One of these experiences was that i experienced time passing very quickly. Also I had these sexual experiences involved at some point. Then I started seeing things differently. For example people had scary and devilious looks. And at the end I didn’t know what was real. During these extreme experiences many things I went through I could relate to the bible texts. I then went into catatonic state and was hospitalized for 6 months. Now I’m doing fine. Nowadays I’m not that morally uptight and I can play boardgames again.
OK my explanation above might be a little weird. But I’d really like to meet someone who has gone through similar experiences.
Hello Banana
I’m sorry that you’ve had to endure something like catatonic schizophrenia. This post isn’t meant to be critical at all but I do caution you as to making more from your experiences than is justified. To do so just means losing opportunities for yourself to at some point put it all into perspective.
What you are describing I know as altered states of consciousness. These altered states allow one to experience higher consciousness but we lack the ability to allow it to pass in to our normal waking state. What happens then is that it becomes all distorted by our normal states which cannot make sense of them.
They can be very powerful and for example instantaneously free a person from addiction. Some altered states are relatively meaningless and others can be actually receiving grace.
Re-birth is something different and in modern times is often confused with metanoia or a change of mind. A person normally feels that since they’ve had a change of mind and search for meaning inwardly rather than through the external world that they’ve been reborn. First things first.
Re-birth is a process similar to a woman’s natural birth of a baby. Metanoia is the sexual experience. It may or may not lead to a conception and this conception may or may not result in a baby nine months later.
Re-birth is like this. The inner experience of metanoia can create an inner environment favorable to the creation of re-birth but it is not assured and can easily go astray. Re-birth is something born in us that serves to connect heaven and earth within ourselves.
You’ve had some powerful experiences and from all I know of these things I cannot emphasize how important it is for your psych to retain a sense of humility. Whatever has been real in your experiences will be immediately lost as soon as egotism enters and it is a struggle to prevent it. If you want to pray, pray to God to keep you from becoming controlled by your imagination. Pray to be real and from acceptance your nothingness. Egotism or illusion is powerless when in this state.
Hopefully, all this will balance out and that you are seeing a competent doctor who can help you if medications are necessary with your battle with schizophrenia
Thanks for your enlightening post Nick_A.
I remember one more thing about my experiences. Just when i had reached that heavenly state and fallen off of it because of my disbelieve. I saw three black dots forming triangle when I looked directly to the sun (the sun didn’t make my eyes hurt at that moment). The dots became more separated from each other as I driffted away from that heavenly state.
Fables can touch our deeper emotions. In the same way, symbols can touch the deeper conscious parts of our intellect. What you describe is the classic symbol of the Trinity separating ito diversity as your consciousness moves from it.
But that is only one possible interpretation. Do some research into symbolism. Carl Jung for example was very much interested in symbols. Maybe you can find one depicted that exactly matches your experience. I wish you luck.