Technical help needed !!!

I’m going to buy a notebook sometime in the next week (auto-birthday pressie) but being completely clueless, I’m just going to buy the shiniest one/the one with the prettiest sales rep. Unless you help.

Please save me.

I’m looking about the 500 dollar range, possibly more if she’s wearing a short skirt.

I am no expert, but I bought a cheapo Toshiba a few years ago, and it’s been fine. My use is pretty much restricted to message boards, debates of intergalactic import, and porn, though. There’s less software on it than when I bought it.