tell me a joke

i’m bored

here’s my current two faves

two drums and a cymbal fall off a chair
badum tish!

what’s the difference between roast beef and pea soup
everyone can roast beef, but not everyone can pea soup

what is the diffrence between a black man and a bucket of shit?

“The bucket”

What’s the difference between a racist and shit on a stick?

There is no difference between a racist and shit on a stick.

lol, i love it when people call other people racists for a joke. I just realize how childish and ignorant they are.

Lighten up. Everyone is racist, its ok! Be proud of your race, Racism is humorous to me when i know its not serious.

The reason why that joke is racist is because it could be applied to anything and you chose to apply it to black people.

Also, by your logic, you should not be reacting strongly to my joke. So there.

Desolate Thief is a shithead.

Oh no, I’m being individualist. But that’s okay, I’ve lightened up, and I’m proud of my indivualistityness.

Well i find taste in whitty humor. Now i will say it was a unwitty line. I find it hilarous when you call someone a Piece of shit, but you really didnt. I think its funny. Like a rap battle.

But dont just insult me. And if you noticed i did take it lightly, i laughed. I said i find it funny.

And honestly i dont find it right that you outright just called me a shithead, i didnt insult you. If your not going to post to make a point than just keep your mouth shut.

DT, So is ‘witty’ spelt with an ‘h’ or without…?

Desolate Thief is a sithhead.

Now, how’s the whittee-rating on that…?

Here’s a joke for you:

‘…There was an Englishman, an Irishman, and this Pakistani sitting in a bar…what a marvellous example of multiculturalism.’

“Comedy is a dangerous business. If people find something funny you’re okay, but the moment you do something that’s meant to be funny and someone doesn’t find it funny, they become angry. It’s almost as if they resent the fact that you tried to make them laugh and failed. Nobody comes out of a mediocre performance of Hamlet seething with rage because it didn’t make them cry. But just listen to people coming out of a comedy that didn’t make them laugh.” - Terry Jones

why did the monkey fall out of the tree?

it was dead.

-Imp

'White people ask, “Why do you black guys touch your dicks all the time?”

‘Cos you done took everything else, motherfucker!’

  • Richard Pryor

At a meeting in a synagogue, Yossef asks the rabbi: “rabbi, why do people hate us so much?”

the rabbi says “that’s an interesting question. how about we all talk about it tomorrow over some vodka. each one of you should bring a bottle so we can mix it in a big pot and drink, and discuss, and the answer will be clear.”

Yossef went home and thought to himself “if everyone else is going to bring a bottle of vodka, if i bring a bottle of water no one will notice the difference.”
and water was what he brought.

the rabbi poured all the vodka together in one pot, and started mixing it.
Yossef got anxious - “well, rabbi, what is the answer to my question? why do people hate us so much?”
the rabbi filled a cup and said “drink this Yossef”
yossef did and said “but this is water!”
and the rabbi said “and this is why the people hate us”

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?

“hey, where’s my tractor??!?”

What’s warm and slippery?

“A slipper”

Son; “Dad, can I borrow the keys to your truck?”

Father; " No long haired hippy son of mine will be seen driving my truck.
Get a haircut!"

Son; “Dad!” “Jesus had long hair and he was the son of God!”

Father; “I know, He also walked everywhere he went!”

I made a mistake. The argument is easily amended.

The reason why you are racist is because you chose to use “blacks” in the joke, when anything else would have done. I’m sure that you can appreciate that it would be humorous referring to anybody, so why choose blacks, when you know that that might offend? 'Cause you’re looking for racist buddies. Duh.

Why does the black person have a PHD?

Because he’s a doctor.

What is the difference between spaghetti and a bucket of shit?

The bucket.

(note: I do not mean to offend any potential spaghetti lovers with this joke. I like spaghetti and it’s a joke.)

I laughed at this :smiley:

But not at this:

And that was a clever Jew one, siatd.

Anyone know any good ones about whites, for balance?

What’s the difference between ginger people and bricks?..

Bricks get laid

n1 !