If you are easily or even somewhat offended by language
or content material, do not read any further.
You have been warned.
The Aristocrats is a movie based on a joke. A joke
comedians tell each other late at night when
there are no paying customers around.
Now the whole point of this joke is to be as vile,
disgusting, rancid as possible. There are no barriers in
this joke, no editing this joke, nothing safe or harmless
about this joke. The point is to go as far as possible in this
joke. The movie has a lot of comedians talking about
the joke and what is comedy, what is joke telling.
The person who makes the most interesting remarks about
the joke is George Carlin. He wants to go over the boundaries
and carry a few with him. The best telling of this joke
is surprisingly enough Gilbert Gottfried, who might be the least
funny person on the planet earth. He tells this joke about
two weeks after 9/11 in New York, during a roast of Hugh
Hefner, of playboy fame. He tried to tell other jokes about
9/11 and was getting booed and then suddenly he went for it.
He told the dirtiest joke of all time in this mixed crowed on
a event for TV that was being taped. By this time in the movie,
you had heard at least 30 different versions of the joke, and
so you knew what was coming and you still laughed.
The whole point is to tell the joke in your own personal way,
with your own touches. All you had to remember was the
punch line. You could make up absolutely everything else about
the joke. The worst telling of the joke was Eric Idle of Monty
python. He got just about everything wrong about the joke,
but all you have to remember is the punch line, 2 words.
I give you the Aristocrats.
A guy walks into a talent agency.
The guy says we have the greatest family act in the world and
we want you to represent us. The talent agent says,
“what do you do” The guy says" let me tell you"
We have me, the wife, my father, my mother, two kids,
boy 9, girl 11, and the family dog.
My wife and I walk on stage, do a little dance,
then she drops her clothes and plays with herself,
then I drop my pants and she gives me head.
My parents come on stage, whereas my mom starts
to give head to dad, then we switch, my mom is giving
me head and my wife is sucking my dad. Then we switch
again, my wife and mom are 69, and my dad is fucking me.
The kids come on stage and and the girl gives head
to the boy. Then we switch again, my dad is fucking the boy,
I am fucking the girl, my mom is being fuck
by my wife. We switch again and my wife sucks my son,
and my dad fucks the girl, I fuck my mom. The dog comes
on stage and we all take turns fucking the dog.
Then we all squat down and pee and shit all in a pile.
Then we slip and slid on the stage on this pile of pee
and shit. The dog licks it off of us and the act is over.
The talent agent goes, Um, that is an ummmm, an
interesting act you got there. What do you call yourself?
The man says, “The aristocrats”.
The movie by the way, a masterpiece.
Kropotkin