(rough beginning of story)
Samuel, was a member of the Cabinet, a Lib-Dem, which is French for indesicive, he was a lover of endless political disappointments. He loathed politics - that was his politics. Who the fuck were all these bloody people in Westminster? It was the impossiblity of change that frustrated Sam. The stagnation of Life and its paper work.
Sam was dating Matt. Matt had the most beautiful eyes. They were blue, they were shiny like glass. They were little windows. The cutest windows in the universe. Sam had came out when he was 25, he was now, 29. Four years of queerdom had cured him of his inhibitions and ‘psychological weaknesses’. He was a well-integrated memeber of ‘functional society’. He knew all about the ‘seven levels of literary narrative’.
But, while sucking cock, as one does on the weekend, after a busy week of passionless work, he suddenly had a ‘freak out’. He immediately stopped, to Matts surprise.
M: ‘What’s up honey, you look shocked?’
s: ‘I just realised I find the calve muscles on Linda’s legs beautiful…’
M: ‘What!? Of course they are, honey, tone is a measure of beauty…every body has something that is beautiful about it. We know all about that. Superficially, even the ugliest of bodies has something beautiful about it - it’s shape or contour. You’ll find it. But, what’s the big freak out for…You falling for her…queer boy…’
S:‘Perhaps work has stressed my mind, fiascal policy is such a drag…but as I was sucking you, her face popped into my head.’
M: ‘What! Look asshole, don’t suck my cock and then tell me you were thinking of some girl…god, have some decency!! Some respect. Your shocking really…’
Sam had gone pale. Sam sat down. Sam was for to honest. Sam was far to literal. Sam had vision of Linda and it messed with his mind. The vision was ordinary but his reaction was problematic.
M: ‘Samuel, what are you saying to me? Are you trying to tell me something?’
Sam and Matt had been together almost one year. They were dedicated lovers. They played squash together. They ate italian. They just loved tortellini. They just loved duck and orange pate. Sam helped out in a Charity group for Autistic Adults between 18 and 45. Matt went to Church every fortnight - because he needed somewhere peacful to consider his Spirit.
S: ‘I’m saying nothing…my reaction…that’s all…I’m telling you…it took me by surprise…’
M: ‘ok, but, God boy, you need to calm down, you really freaked out, leaving my cock hanging exposed in terror!’
Matt always made a joke of things. Matt was lighthearted only when others were in a dour mood. Sam was in a dour mood. Sam look glazed. Same had no idea what was going on.
Sam started to look at women erotically. It grew. It was easy. It was as though some bolt in his mind has freed itself as though his associations could be freely placed where they had always dreaded to be placed.