One day a young maiden, Krycyble, trekked up a mountain to temporarily escape her mundane and tortuous life. She had thought she might find comfort in the shadows of Mother Nature. She longed for her lungs to be consumed by the moist pine scented air of the woods in winter. Krycyble sincerely thought that if she was shrouded by the greens of nature that her mind of whirling despair might be transformed. Transformed into what, Krycyble did not know. All that she desired was to be changed, but did not even know how. And so she looked to the earth for advice.
Now, she reached the summit of the mountain. Surrounding Krycyble, beads of dew glistened on ferns and firs. And the grass spurts that were scarcely surviving in the rocky crevices of the lookout on the mountaintop seemed to be dazzling in moist light. At that moment, with her blood pumping through her veins, Krycyble was acutely aware of her existence. She could feel her hairs on her arm rise with the caress of the gentle wind that was starting to pick up on the north side of the mountain to which direction she was now facing. As she looked out, her eyes began to become like the tips of the ferns covered in the dew. Her vision, while looking out into the world from the mountaintop, could only see the reflection of her own existence. Her tears on top of that dewy and brisk winter morning served to be a blinding mirror.
Krycyble went seeking escape but now found herself trapped within herself on top of the mountain. She had longed to be consumed by something other than herself; she wanted nature to take her in its cool shadows. She did not intend to be consumed by her own being, blinded by her own emotional mirror of tears.
She wept uncontrollably at the undesired horror of some uncertain and unknown infliction of self-reflection upon her mind and body. Her mind spun a whirlwind of thoughts, desperately trying to hold on to any perception of the outside world, trying to block and control what ever was encroaching upon her existence. But at last she had wept so much that her tears only intensified the light that shone within her and the mirror became even more clearer. But the light that pierced Krycyble’s sight was only her unconscious thoughts trying to break through so that they could be seen in her mirror. It was a struggle between Krycyble maintaining ignorance of her being and acknowledging that this mirror and these lights that she was feeling and seeing were all in her. They were not inflicted upon her by anyone else.
Now it was only several seconds since this reflective state had first started. But this physical blinding internal reflection fully consumed her, and Krycyble submitted herself to herself and discovered her origins by wandering through her narration of the creation of herself and all beings.
Krycyble came to understand that in the beginning, a green veil was lifted and billions and billions of energy particles scattered into existence. Their dispersion into existence was also their acknowledgement of the abyss that surrounded them.
The veil that had been holding them together in their vortex from the abyss was a green shroud of penetrating light. So when these particles were released into the abyss they were blind because they did not know darkness. The darkness that they encountered was so other than anything else that existed in the particle’s vortex that they could not understand or see the darkness.
Luckily, since these were particles, who were curious and wanted knowledge, they did not cease to exist because they did not know what surrounded them, but decided that somewhere in their little particle ball selves that there existed some infinitely minute connection to the darkness that prevented them from being nonexistent. Thus, because the energy particles were not familiar with the dark void that they had found themselves in, they understood that even prior to their unveiling that there was some connection within them to the dark void.
Immediately after the energy particles were released, they bumped into each other and collided. When they collided, bonds formed and mountains, hills, and rainforests were created and formed the earth with these bonds. And some of the particles even formed new universes and galaxies. The energies of these particles were quite random. The randomness of their bonds and their lack of any planned path or direction was an innate quality that they possessed from their time in the vortex.
But not all of the energy particles that had been dispersed had collided, and there were still several billion particles that had not united with others. After being in their original frenzied and chaotic state, these remaining particles noticed that they were separate from the particles that had already bonded. This realization tired the particles, and they decided to rest but did not stop moving completely because they were energy particles, which could never fully cease. So they slowly traveled over their fellow particles, the earth.
At this point, the particles began to form separate societies according to the similarities of traits in certain particles. These traits had been acquired while they had been traveling over their fellow bonded particles. Eventually, these particles evolved into androgynous beings from their encounters with other particles from different societies. All the while, the particles and beings were constantly curious as to who they were and were constantly studying themselves and the differences that they saw. Soon enough, the androgynous beings changed into two separate beings, male and female.
When both male and female beings existed, they began to investigate their physical differences. Through their curious nature, they discovered the fertility of women. The ability of the women to reproduce was highly revered by these humans because they thought she contained more energy than others and thus was more closely connected to their original state of energy. Because of the abundance of energy that came from the women, there arose their religion, Krycyblia, which worshiped the fertility of the first woman.
The Krycyblians, the first people, held with them their history of their evolution and considered energy and activity very sacred. And they realized essentially that they would live eternally but not as individuals. Salvation for them was only the recognition that there was not a self or any individual, except for what or whoever exists at any given moment. They did not need to be saved from or for anything because when they died they would be physically and spiritually recycled. The recycling naturally occurred so that the energy particles within the beings could be reused and would allow for the evolutionary process to continue. The concept of the recycling of physical and spiritual energy particles was their main foundation of their idea of their afterlife. After a being had disintegrated, and its particle bonds had been broken so that all of the individual particles were freed, they essentially went through a recycling reincarnation process in the after life. Although the being was not an individual any more, the entirety of themselves, even though it was separated and spread out in space, was being turned into something else, whether it be that some of one’s physical or spiritual energy particles’ bonded to a physical landscape such as the mountains or the sea or if some of their particles attached themselves to other particles and formed a new being, the essence, although it was divided still existed, would forever exist just like it always had existed before that individual had existed.
Eventually, these Krycyblians became lazy. Slowly, their laziness caused an imbalance in the evolutionary creation of other Krycyblians. All humans inherited the laziness, and it became a genetic trait that led to an alteration in humanity’s concept of their origins as well as a radical change in their religious beliefs. And through the continuation of evolution this trait remained with them because the humans liked it. A possible reasoning for the humans fondness for laziness was because it went against their original state, it might have been for them a means to express their yearning to know what they did not know like when they had wanted to know the darkness in their unveilment in the very beginning. Thus, from this, the present society that Krycyble was living in came about.
At this point in Krycyble’s reflective state, she could reflect no further on the origins of humanity or of her own life which was like a moment in the grand scheme of evolution and existence felt like a sad joke. Suddenly, water poured from Krycyble’s soul and she reentered the state of existence that she was in prior to her exploration of her origins. Her sobs were sobs, but they were unheard by the chipmunk that scattered by her.
Krycyble lifted her face to the sun that was now extending its rays of warm energy to the cold ground on which she sat. She felt the air and wind around her as she had felt prior to her reflective experience, but when she looked out from the mountaintop, she saw the rays of the sun mysteriously spreading its light on the world below in the town, where she lived. And barren mountainsides rested in her sight. Krycyble saw the fog around her slowly rise to the sun as if to keep a secret from her. The fog was like the shroud that had covered the original energy particles. She was now unveiled to the world. She had awoken to nature her most primal self. Krycyble now saw what she had been feeling. She understood that Mother Nature had embraced and advised her in the most natural way possible. Nature used Krycyble’s own physical and spiritual being to show Krycyble herself. Krycyble, because of her knowledge of the necessity for action and the holiness of each moment, began her trek down the mountainside.
When she reached town, she wrote the following poems to express her discovery of herself and somehow hoped to sanctify her awareness of herself in the world. She understood that she was living a tortuous life because she did not seek to understand the other as her original nature had once done so. Krycyble was essentially being a lazy being because she was denying her true nature. She realized that she must embrace the other, Love, just as the energy particles had sought to know their darkness. She wanted to be consumed not by the cool shadows of nature, but by the other.
Madness of My Mind
Madness I have entered you.
Any logic that I once possessed has fled my soul.
You are my existence.
Within you I feed on illusions.
But reality seems like the illusion
or maybe I only wish it to be so.
See, I cannot discern reality from illusion?
This is madness! Torture.
Time has died and been birthed in this state.
Evolution of the being might occur.
But do I want to evolve?
How long can I survive in this state?
Can I ever leave you?
Can I ever dare to control you, madness?
Caged Soul
Fear of my soul
Release me.
Let me return to
primacy and love.
Let me not seek to understand love
but to feel it.
Let me engage in the mystery
with mind and body.
Please, cage around my soul,
will you bend your iron bars
so that I will not loose what I have now found?
Destruction of Hell and Mind
Hell do not lock my heart.
Mind do not spin your lies.
Heart do love the beloved.
Hell feel your own pain.
Mind feel.
Heart feel the heart that exists in you.
Hell destroy yourself.
Mind destroy yourself.
Heart destroy hell and mind.
Beloved Love Me
Tear my voice
But
Sing my love.
Throw away my body
But
Consume my spirit.
Embrace my death.
Kill my life.
Beloved love me.
Beloved You Are My Questions
Beloved,
Where can you be found?
Under dew kissed ferns?
Or are you the fern?
Beloved,
I do not know you.
Do I even desire to know you?
How do I go about such an unfinishable task?
Beloved,
How do I share myself with you?
Is there anything of me to share, for all I ask is questions?
Beloved,
Maybe I am only a leech.
If I am. I do not wish for you to know me.
Beloved,
Why do I call you by that name?