Hello, all. I’m the multi-insanical, stupanical, and just freakanical Kiwi Saotome! I’m sure you know that I’m new here. And before I get down with the philosophical stuff, I wanted to post one of my crazy works. Well, this little story is just about an alternate me (future me?) doin’ stuff and making her co-worker weep. Oh. And the reason why I use Saotome (the last name) is just because it sounds so freakin’ cool. (And Jin Saotome is the man!) Who cares, right? Anyway, I hope you like.
“Principles are for the energetic, principled, insane businesspeople searching for justice… Morals are for the weak minded slaves of Capitalism! I follow no rules! I have no boundaries! I am as free as a… Hm… I don’t know.â€
The rest of Marcy Saotome’s speech broke into a spattering of “um†and “uhâ€. She quietly placed her papers on her desk. She then swiveled her chair around. Her partner, Mr. Maxwell, stared at her.
“You’ve been working on this for weeks,†Mr. Maxwell laughed. “Why won’t you just give up now before you explode or something? Mr. Tanner doesn’t want to hear what you have to say. All you have to do is say, ‘I quit’ and walk out of his office. It’s not that hard.â€
But Marcy just doesn’t work that way. She does everything the needlessly hard way, and most of the time she’s very happy with what she does. She’s a very odd one when it comes to dealing with people. No one could have figured this out from the way she looked.
“Come on, Maxwell. I have to show the boss who’s…well, boss,†she shrugged. “Besides, I also need to show the other workers that in order to follow your dreams, you have to deter oppression!â€
Her hair was an odd mauve-like color and she only allowed it to reach just an inch past her shoulders. Her eyes were a light brown, seemingly half open most of the time. She wore black, thick framed glasses that matched with her basic work attire. She had a nerdy profile, and a face that screamed “I’m doing something I’m not supposed to do†.People mostly got the impression that she’s a simple little secretary, living by the rules, and doing her job with minimal frustrations.
“Well, you don’t have to make a scene.â€
Mr. Maxwell, on the other hand, is your everyday businessman. Even though he’s in the business field, he looks very comfortable. His short, black hair is pretty oily and messy. It’s really just a case of bed head. The clothes he wore were of department store quality. He also had light brown eyes and a modest face. He lives by the philosophy of, “Leave crazy fools alone, or else they’ll turn on you and steal your soul.†Was he paranoid? Maybe…
They met during a Christmas party crisis involving a cake and someone’s underpants. However, it wasn’t until their boss, Mr. Tanner, decided that Marcy needed someone to keep her occupied. So, he introduced Mr. Maxwell into her eight hour shift. She forced herself to work with him at first, but in the end, she didn’t mind his existence.
They’ve known each other for at least a year, both of them thinking that they know so much about the other. Marcy adapted to Maxwell’s timid attitude towards the things she does, and he got used to her actions he called “meaninglessâ€.
Maxwell picked up the papers from the desk. He skimmed through ten pages or so, picking up on key phrases such as “libertyâ€, “dreamsâ€, and “secret desiresâ€.
“This looks like a mess,†he pointed to the scratch outs and liquid paper spills. “You know, you can’t send this to him. Once I think about it, do you even have a good reason to leave this job?â€
Marcy thought for a moment.
“Well, yeah.â€
“What is it?â€
“Well, if I told you, you’d tell Tanner,†she mumbled while turning away from him.
“Don’t worry about it. Just tell me.â€
“Listen, all I want to do is follow my dreams! Sure, I wanted this job, and I’m quite happy with it. But hey, I have a prophecy to fulfill.â€
Mr. Maxwell backed away slowly, “I’m not even going to ask.â€
“Good. Now, you’re coming with me to talk to him.â€
“Like hell!†he snapped. “Unlike you, I actually want to keep my job! This is good money, here.â€
“Come on! We’re partners, and we need to stick together!†she grasped his arm, urging him to stand up with her.
“Says who?â€
“Me!†she pulled him towards her.
“No.â€
Marcy bargained, “Fine. I guess I could let you in on the deal.â€
“What deal are you –“
Marcy hushed him with a finger to the lips. She looked around suspiciously, even though the shades were closed and the doors were locked. She began to whisper.
“You see, whenever I just so happen to complete my life mission, I’ll let you be second in command.â€
“What?â€
“That’s right. Me and you! I deemed you worthy of becoming my partner!â€
“Whatever you say, I change my mind,†he said before she could go on. “But keep in mind that I’m going to help you out with Mr. Tanner just because I’m nice. But I swear, after this, I don’t know you, and I haven’t seen you before…ever. Okay?â€
“Great whatever!†she ignored. “Now let’s go!â€
She proudly walked out of her office with Maxwell trailing behind. Deep down inside, Maxwell didn’t want to be seen with her at the moment. Suddenly, he began walking a lot faster, hurrying up to Mr. Tanner’s office before anyone noticed him.
“Hey, Palmer!†she waved to a cubicle. A hand emerged and waved back. “Maxwell and I are going to talk to Mr. Tanner about letting me go! Isn’t that great! It’s really nice that Maxwell wanted to help me out by talking to him, too!â€
Maxwell, fearing random criticism, he slid into an office, closed the door, and took post behind it.
“Mr. Joe Maxwell,†said a familiar voice. “How are you?â€
Maxwell looked to his right, only to find Mr. Tanner sitting in his expensive leather office chair, at his expensive Italian leather lined desk. There he sat, with his French leather shoes and an oddly uncomfortable leather suit. He sat up to get a better look at Maxwell, who had a very nervous smile on his face. A squeak emitted from his suit.
“What brings you here today?â€
“Nothing…at…all…†he barely said.
Mr. Tanner leaned back again, squeaking quite loudly. Just as he was about to say something, Marcy came in, busting through the door like a maniac. Maxwell was pushed into a wall.
“Mr. Tanner! I’m glad to see you!†she growled. “Maxwell and I are here to talk to you!â€
“Mr. Maxwell? Were you here for this purpose?†Mr. Tanner raised an eyebrow…
“Yes…†he peeped, wishing this would end.
“Good. Well, why won’t you two take a seat?â€
Maxwell and Marcy took a seat in Mr. Tanner’s imported leather chairs. More squeaky sounds arose.
“Well we came here because—“
“I quit!†Marcy interrupted Maxwell. “No, matter of fact we both quit!â€
“No! Marcy, NO!â€
Maxwell could have killed her right then and there.
“Yes, we both want to do something new with our lives,’ she explained, making gestures for every word. “Sure, this job is fine, and the ninety-eight thousand dollars a year salary is great, but, we’d rather live out our passion! Our destiny is to become the best we can be! To thrive in this crazy world of ours! To rule the lands few dare to explore or even mention! Maybe they don’t even exist! But the matter is that, we want to leave our jobs.â€
Mr. Tanner looked at them. Maxwell was on the verge of crying, and Marcy sat there proudly humming a marching tune. He leaned back once more.
“Okay. Enjoy your lives.â€
Marcy sprang up with glee and spun around in a happy frenzy. Maxwell, on the other hand, lounged for her and began to choke her.
“I HATE YOU!â€
Oh yes, this is the beginning of something… Something stupid! The Oddly Stupid Happenings of Marcy Saotome!