The Passion of PoR

PoR’s Last Supper

While they were eating, PoR took a piece of white bread, gave a prayer of thanks, broke it, and gave it to his disciples. "Take and eat it, " he said; “this is my Nordic body.”

The he took a cup, gave thanks to God, and gave it to them.

“Drink it, all of you.” he said, “this is my Nordic blood, which seals God’s covenant, my blood poured out for many for the forgiveness of racial sins. I tell you, I will never again drink this wine until the day I drink the new wine with you in my Father’s kingdom.”

Then they sang a hymn and went out to the Mount of Olives.

PoR is sentenced to death

At every Passover Festival the ILP governor was in the habit of setting free any one prisoner the crowd asked for. At that time there was a well known prisoner named MustafaKebabEnglish. So when the crowd gathered, Ben the ruler of ILP asked them, “Which one do you want me to set free for you? PoR or MFE?” He knew very well that the Raceless authorities had handed PoR over to him because they were jealous.

The chief priests named Vincent and his fellow conspirators who wanted the races to mix to the extent that no race can have a race to call their own persuaded the crowd to ask Ben to set MFE free and have PoR pu to death.

“What then shall I do with PoR” Ben asked them.

“BAN HIM!” they all answered.

But Ben asked, “What crime has he committed?”

Then they started shouting at the top of their voices. “He wants us to preserve our racial identity. BAN HIM!”

When Ben saw that it was no use going on, but that everyone might leave ILP, he took some water, washed his hands in front of the crowd and said 'I am not responsible for the death of this man! This is your doing!"

Then Ben handed PoR to Vincent the Devil’s Disciple to be banned.

The Soilders Make Fun of PoR

Then Ben’s soilders took PoR to the governor’s palace, and the whole company made fun of him. “Look at Obw and that Asian” they taunted “they are going to betray their respective races, and if you are the Brother of the Son of God, then stop this act which you call abomination.”
Another said “oh look, the Mustafa future Kebab shop owner and that out of place Nordic man, look at how out of place he is!”
They laughed, PoR closed his eyes and tears came out.
Finally, they stripped PoR of his cloth and poured brown and yellow oil over him, “now you have no racial identity, you are now like one of us.”

When they had finished making fun of him, they took the robe off and put his own clothes back on him. Then they led him out to crucify him.

PoR is crucified.

As they were going out, they met a man from USA named De’trop, and the soilders forced him to carry PoR’s cross. They came to a place called Racegotha, which means “The place of the racial skull” for many races perished there through intermixing.

It was about twelve o’clock when the sun stopped shining and darkness covered the whole country until three o’clock; and the curtain hanging in the Raceless Temple was torn in two. PoR cried out in a loud voice, 'Father! In your hands I place my race!" He said this and died personally (not racially).

Angst-ridden saw what had happened, and he praised God, saying, “Certainly he was a good man, with strong racial instinct!”

PoR, that story put a smile on my face. However I must distance myself from your own ideas. I agree with some things, for example race does exist. But im not against mixed races as I see no proof against them.

Also in your story you say that the ILP members put you to death. But the majority voted to not ban you and it was Ben and other staff who decided to do so.

Let me conclude your story:
After praising to God for many months, Angst-Riddens family was smited and Angst-Ridden began to question God. After much philosophising he realised that there was no such thing as God. He met a beautiful woman from Chile (hispanic race) who had much in common with him. He made sweet love to her and started his very own multi-racial family. Then one night he was haunted by the ghost of PoR. But he was too busy in the bed to bother listening :wink: .
THE END.

And angst-ridden gave birth to multiple off-springs, neither looking much like him. He like Tab looks very much out of place in his so called “family photo” and slowly he faded into oblivion. He has breeded himself into extinction due to a lack of racial instinct.

If I so fall in love with someone of another race then I am by no means going to hold myself back. I am not lacking in will power, I am lacking in reason.
It is probable that my own race will become extinct eventualy as will all races. But I dont see this as a major problem at this very moment. I have a similar meaning of life to yours, albiet without the race issues. I believe that preservation of the human species is the purpose of life. But I fail to see how mixing races is going to prevent this purpose from being fulfilled. Surely having different races fight with each other will eventualy lead to the self-destruction of man kind.

"When the Sabbath was over, Mary Magdalene, Mary the mother of James, and Salome bought spices and milk so that they might go to tenderize PoR’s body. Meat was scarce in those days, so even the mortal remains of a living God was fair game for a fry-up. Very early on the first day of the week, just after sunrise, they were on their way to the tomb and they asked each other, “Who will roll the stone away from the entrance of the tomb?”

Salome, ever practical, pulled a tyre-iron out of her robes and said “No worries mate - this’ll shift the bugger.”

But when they looked up, they saw that the stone, which was very large, had been rolled away. As they entered the tomb, they saw a young man dressed in a white robe sitting on the right side, and they were alarmed.

Mary Magdalane, bolstering her courage in her heaving bosom did exclaim: “Oi you, 'oppit, that body’s ours…! 'ave got dibbs on 'is kidneys and Salome 'ere, she’s gonna stir fry 'is meat an two veg…!”

“Do not be alarmed,” the youth said. "You are looking for Pinnacle the Supremist, who was crucified. He has risen! He is not here. See the place where they laid him. But go, tell his disciples and Peter, ‘He is going ahead of you into Galilee. There you will see him, just as he told you.’ "

Trembling and bewildered, their collective stomachs still grumbling, the women went out and fled from the tomb. They said nothing to anyone, because they were really pissed about losing a free lunch.

When PoR rose early on the first day of the week, he appeared first to Mary Magdalene, out of whom he had driven seven demons. Cupping her hollowed cheek in his pure white hand he said: “Here daughter, do not weep, for did I not feed a 1000 with mere loaf and fish…? Take of my body, and do not want.” And with these kind words did PoR produce a chicken Vindaloo with copious dips and poppadoms, and lo! The Magdelene did fall upon it greedily.

Muchly satiated though with a hell of a hot shit on its way, Mary went and told those disciples who had been with him and who were mourning and weeping. When they heard that PoR was alive and dishing out free grub, they did not believe it. For the lord their God had never been a dab hand in the kitchen.

Later PoR appeared to the Eleven as they were eating, (poor fair, with meat of an undistinguished nature); he rebuked them for their lack of faith in his cullinary skills and their stubborn refusal to believe those who had seen him after his bread had risen. “But Lord” Thomas said “The last Supper you cooked was a disaster, all that morbid ‘drink of my blood’ business, put me right off me gruel…!”

PoR Looked pityingly upon the disciples, and pulling something from his loin-clothe did remark: “Oh doubters, lo! feast your eyes upon the marvels of this Chocolate pudding!!!”

[size=75]“I don’t care what he says this time, I’m not eating that - it could be anything…”[/size] Thomas was heard to mutter.

Continuing, PoR said to them, “Go into all the world and preach the good news to all creation. Whoever believes in international cuisine and is baptized under a drizzle of powdered cocoa will be saved, but whoever does not believe will be condemned. And these signs will accompany those who believe: In my name they will create soufléés of surpassing grace; they will taste with new tongues; they will pick up snakes with their hands, and fricasé them lightly in only the most virgin of olive-oils; and when they drink real ale, it will not hurt them at all, nor induce hangovers; they will place their hands on sick people, and they will get well, but they will wash them thoroughly before entering the divine kitchen”

After the Lord PoR had spoken to them, he was taken up into heaven and he sat at the right hand of God. God turned, and welcomed his son: “PoR, hath thee carried out my will upon the world…?

“Indeed father, it is saved.”

And hath thee washed away the sins of man in the blood of the lamb…?

“Er.”

What doth thy mean my son… ‘Er’…?

“Weeel Pop’s - I kinda got a little creative there. I was sitting there on the cross right, and I was thinking, if the blood of the lamb will do such goodness, how much more goodness would a nice bit of roast lamb and a few veggies do…”

Doh.

Then the disciples went out and preached everywhere, and the Lord worked with them and confirmed his word by the (MacDonald’s) signs that accompanied it."

[size=75]The gospel according to Saint Tab [16][/size]

=D>

……

POR: This coke from macdonald’s, this is the new covenant, sealed with my blood, which is poured for you.
Disciples: Ahhhh
POR: Not going ahhh again, Matthew? What ails you this time?
Matthew: Forgive me lord, for I do not understand.
POR: Ahhhh
Matthew: No, no, don’t start saying ahh again, I don’t know what you mean.
Saying this cheeseburger is your body
POR: Ahh
Matthew: No wait, do you mean that metaphorically, or are you saying this cheeseburger will literally become your body when I put it in my mouth
POR: My poor Matthew, do you not see…Ahhhh
Disciples: Ahhhh
Matthew: NNO! I don’t see, cos sometimes you’re metaphorical and sometimes you’re literal.
POR: …consider the humming bird as it hovers in the breeze. AAAHH
Disciples: AAAh-
Matthew: -NNNOOO. This strikes me as the kind of question that’s going to cause lots of problems in the future. You can see in the future, you’ll know this very question will cause international wars, sectarian violence and the division of your church. You want all this schism and stuff because it gives you some kind of power trip-
POR: -The Mcflurry’s arrived!

PoR is a waste of time.

Mod Note: Thread moved to Creative Writing

Dunno about ‘creative’ but it sure is writing.

I’ve tried to find a pigeon hole that fit PoR, this thread makes it absolutely clear: ILP needs a surrealist forum. I wunner what the Last Supper would look like painted by Dali? :unamused:

JT

LoL… now I know you really are a joke PoR.

Wern’t you banned?