fuse:
WW_III_ANGRY:
There are people who are so jaded that do not want to achieve things that make people happy, because the means to achieve these things are often and most of the time hypocritical to the values one holds dear, thus we have the dilemma and the vicious circle.
This thread and especially this bit are very reminiscent of my situation. I do feel like I am caught between normalcy/productivity and my values. At the heart of it, I think, is fear. I’m afraid to be myself and I can’t bear to be anything else. I believe I am strong enough to overcome this, and I think one day I will be able to act authentically and be to the fullest extent who I am, without sacrificing anything. AND whether I achieve normalcy or not I will be successful in functioning/being-with other people. I don’t think this self-destructive thing is cool, but I think perhaps it was necessary for me and that it has value.
I know people are out there like this because I was like this. How to proceed? Put your values on a scale. On a long enough time line, you’ll know which values are needed more, based on society and how to obtain those values, you will have to destroy the values that way less at times.