Send me your money. Paypal is fine.
I’ll save your soul.
Thus started Smearsology … 
And on the third night of the kegger, Smears came to the party and was told by some fat ho, “there is no beer”. And he said, “Shut up you fat ho, and bring me some bottled water”. And the fat ho said, “Okay”.
And he breathed on the bottled water and threw some pills into it and everyone drank and got their buzz back.
Even the fat ho.
And then the fat ho said unto him, “the people are hungry, but there isn’t enough fish nor enough bread, and Dominos won’t deliver here anymore, not even the Jamaican guy”. And then Smears took some tunafish and some cheap white bread and he fed them all, despite that there was not enough fish and enough bread to feed them all. And he said unto them, “there is not enough fish and enough bread to feed you all, but there is enough Miracle Whip to make all the tuna salad you want”.
Which is why they call it Miracle Whip.
And then he said unto them “I will walk on the lake now”, and they said unto him, “but Smears, do not try to walk upon the lake - take these ice skates”. To which he said “No.”
And so he walked upon the lake, as they watched and ate tunafish salad sandwiches and drank bottled water that still gave them their buzz back and they called dominos even though dominos wouldn’t deliver there any more, not even the Jamaican guy, and then they danced and made merry and made a hell of a lot of noise, especially for it being so late, and then the cops came and arrested them all.
So now Smears needs some bail money.
Dude.
I want some of that bottled water about now.
Three easy installments of $19.95 will get you a case of it.
A date with the fat ho will get you a case of something else, but that can also be arranged.
Yeah, I’m on Smears payroll, now.
Giving a whole new meaning to the term, “High Priest”.
Dat be da lowdown on da trowdown.
Upon entering imprisonment by the seedy police force Smears was befriended by the locals (inmates). And one of the most curious inmates asked him " Do you like cock meat sandwhiches?" to which Smears replied.
“Why do you like getting your dick sucked by another man?”. But the sincerety was not heard by the sexually deprived locals. They proceeded inturn to violate his every orifice and made a few new ones of their own. By the next day there was some 50 or so new notches on the wall. And so that wall was forever called Smart ass corner.
The gospel according to Faust. Amen.
The letters of Wonderer to the Church of Mundane Babble. Amen.
When would the heretics, the blasphemers and the aSmears will come about? Haha.
Hail to the “High Priest” … um, dude, are you okay? You don’t look so good. Are you having a vision or something? Want me to call the Jamaican guy?
and a voice erupted from somewhere “just rub some Miracle Whip on his forehead and he’ll be just fine.”
Good times.
Faust: can you do one of those for me? More on the anti-Christian tip though. 
Sure. Gimme somthing to work with, though. Some seminal statement, or circumstance.
I’ll be an apostle to the highest bidder.
OK…
I am the Anti-Christ. Only through me will philosophers enter the kingdom of heaven.
Thanks whoever sent the $50!! That’s gonna come in handy at the weed house later! Thank god for the paypal debit card.
Someone sent you money? The hell?
I wonder if I could get a job as an internet bum. Just go around to message boards asking for change. I mean, a street bum only sees so many people a day, I could get lots more exposure this way.
Hah become a professional internet bum. What a concept.
Nice Smears, I would envy you, but I’m not a shallow person. 
realun, I can never really tell what you mean.
I’ll take that as a compliment, for now! 
In due time, everything will become clear… 
You mean you’ll learn how to communicate and not mangle the English language?
[size=50]…maybe I’d better take those bets on pigs flying…[/size]
did someone actually send you money?