The Teleology of Humiliation

Philosophy Forums Religion and Spirituality
1

Death is the absolute humiliation.

Imagine it. A grown man is choking, near to you. You can see and hear him. He’s holding his hands to his throat, panicked, indicating for others to help him. He’s sputtering and hacking, making odd sucking noises. His face turns purple, and his strength is quickly fading. Nobody can help him, as he is looking straight at you. His eyes are bulging wide, full of fear, like a silent plea to absolve himself. Maybe help arrives, and saves his life, maybe not. Maybe he chokes to death, right there, staring into you, and you staring into him.

How embarrassing, for him to die in front of you, how embarrassing for both you and he.

Death is the final humiliation of a man’s life. Some wise philosopher once said, maybe it was Socrates, that a man spends his life only preparing for death. And, I agree. Once this meme takes a hold of you and your psyche. Once the realization of death sets in, once you lose all faith and hope, once you dive into that void, and into full nihilism, once you let death take its firm grasp around your soul, then you’ll understand the worth of a man’s individual life. We are, I am, worth so, so little. Maybe worth nothing. And it is within this final humility, that a man begins to become something else entirely. Free.

Because it is not death that defines a man’s life, necessarily. It is the accumulation of all the moments in between, all the moments of consciousness. The Christians promise eternal life. I don’t buy it. A fantasy world of make believe, does not comfort me nor absolve my soul of the fear of death. I see more fear in the fantasy, than in the humiliation of a rather worthless life. In this knowledge, and wisdom, the world looks like a completely different place. You step out of the cave, and the sun beams a light into your eyes, for the very first time. It is upon these revelations, of death, that you become aware of a sixth sense, of an imminence, magnitude, and greatness to life.

Because there is a sense of knowing, absolutely, unwaveringly, that no man nor woman nor child, can escape fate. Fate is death, that you will die, and that there is absolutely nothing you can do to avoid it, or necessarily prepare for it. This is what must have been meant by the phrase “the unexamined life is not worth living”. Because the unexamined life, is one which lives, but is largely unaware of death, and the forthcoming humility of death.

Why not, save yourself the embarrassment, of choking to death? Death is embarrassing, if you really think about it. It is the collapse of all dignity and pride, which a man founds his life upon. All the philosophical premises in the world, all the wisdom of human history, implode all at once. You will die. You will die, there is no doubt about it. I, we, will die. But, at the very least, we can live in the meantime.

Because of all this, I now see, finally and firstly, ending and beginning, that very, very, very few people live, or know what it means to live. A moment’s time becomes infinitely precious, infinitely valuable, as if you were God Himself. Time slows to a stop, because time is finite, because death is imminent. And space and time are frozen. Within this moment, the value of life becomes infinite and beyond all measures of value.

To accept that you will die, is both humiliating and emasculating. Within this realization, and faith, it is no wonder why so many Christians cling to the false hope of God. They want to be saved from death, and spared from the realization of absolution. They are scared, yes, and full of fear, but is it any different from a man with foresight, who sees, makes, controls, and owns the future? If you control the future, and fate, what is realized is the capacity you have to control the moments of your life, and then take the proper preparations, to live fully, and die accordingly, ready or not.

Ready or not, death doesn’t care for the meanderings and musings of men. That is humiliation.

You realize, finally, that in this powerlessness, and in this hopelessness, there is peace in life, while living, resolution and resolved in the fact, that you can enjoy the peace between birth and death. There is peace there, by accepting the inevitability. By accepting the emasculation, humility, and absolution. You will not escape. I will not escape. And no, Christians, your invisible God will not save you. But, maybe, you can save yourselves, a little bit of fear, by a proper preparation.

How will you die, with your family standing beside you? Will you die like a coward, crying for your mother? Will you impart this fear upon others? Isn’t there such thing as a noble death, and dignified end? Cannot a man confront death to the best of his ability, and the best of his courage?

2

Interesting post. Death might seem like humiliation to you now. I have felt that. However, in truth, you can’t know what death is. Death is in itself unknowable to us as finite self conscious beings. You can know what the death of others is like to yourself as a conscious being. but, you can no what it is like to be dead because it isn’t like anything. Or, if it is like anything, it is not given to us to know what it is like. Because, it isn’t like life, and that is all we can know. So, it isn’t necesssarily humilitating except in the imagination or, as we feel that way for others who have died.

3

Good response, yes, some men will die in humiliating ways, and others in dignified ways. Some men have more or less control over this process of dying, of how to die, than other men.

4

Right, so in terms of first person experience your thoughts above are about dying not about death. Somebody, maybe it was Hemingway said that all men die like dogs. So dying, from a third person standpoint, might be thought of as humilating in itself. But, it is in the first person POV that we will each die. That may or may not be a humiliating expereince. The ancient stoics taught that the only thing we might have control over are our cognitions. As long as we are conscious, we are always in a state of being and non-being even when we are dying. So, it is always theoretically possible to enjoy being alive as long as we are conscious. Of course, the degree of suffering we are expereincing may make that practically impossible. When it is impossible, suicide is the only option. But, only the dying can make the call.

5

Rununder,

First I would like to stress God is very much REAL, and has shown itself to several incumbents, specific individuals, throughout history without leaving evidence of the truthness of it so as not to distort humanity’s development. The lightening bolt miracle on the Vatican Basilica on the evening of St Benedict’s resignation was a clear miracle the world chose to ignore. I would not be surprised if the Pope himself asked for a miracle in order to warrant confirmation as to whether is resignation was the right thing to do.

Regardless, I am a Christian, but I do not believe in an ‘everlasting’ life. Instead I see life itself maybe lasting about 7000 years to say the least, given inclusion of additional afterlives. But religion asides, Aristotle argued that the meaning and purpose of life was to live a ‘well-lived’ life, achieve a state of eudaimonia if you must say. In achieving eudaimonia, or self acceptance, we in a way condition our own selves towards death with sheer contentment that there is simply nothing left to experience and cherish in this life. I believe eudaimonia is not easily attainable, but a certainty for every sentient being further down the road, mayhap in your life on the thereafter. Mayhap eudaimonia for some requires several hundred or thousand years to achieve, every individual is perfect, but one thing we can be assured of is that there is no point in envy as in the end everyone’s ultimate needs differ and shall be attained given the pathway towards faith is established and sincere love for God and all its creation. You may ask, ‘which God?”, maybe there are many, maybe not, but I believe there is room for every noble faith and creed out there so as to warrant ultimate dignity (not humiliation) prior to the point of utter cesation of existence, aka. Death!

The men in ‘control’ of their emotions of death are indeed blessed individuals, and if eudaimonia were to be reached by anyone I would argue that ‘most’ would necessitate a great degree of accrued wisdom for attainment of this blissful path. Wisdom only increases with age is my belief, and enough time for self-reflection and accrued life experiences. Death is not a process of humiliation, unless you arrive at this cesation of existence without achieving eudaimonia. I believe that most atheists are saved (even sinners), this because I am a Presbyterian. However, for the ones not saved I do not ‘necessarily’ believe in a notion of hell (mayhap meagre afterlife), but I postulate that some individuals may just cease to exist (no matter what parallel universe) paving for a restart cycle of creation which in turn induces your soul/spirit to re-live your own life again (in the circular theory of eventual existence).

Death to me is seen as humiliative if indeed the method of perishment is of a degrading nature, one inducive to a loss of pride and dignity. Like you said, ‘some men have more or less control over this process of dying’, this attributive to faith and a spiritual connection to a higher entity that may lurk within the realms of the unseen universe (mayhap dark matter). I would argue that the real humiliation does not come from death but instead as to how one lives his/her own life. Indeed the vast majority of us are embarrased about our achievements, but those that see the plausible impossible notion of the infinite (or the void, as per Chinese philosophical thought) are indeed the ones living in utter contentment of their failed efforts in life with the realization of late redemption. In avoiding this ‘humiliation’ you talk about I would suggest one lives an earnest life, an honest life, one inspired by principles of virtue and ethical codes of conduct. It is only when you are free from the burdens of sin that one can trully claim that they lived a glorious unblemished life worthy to savour – any outside impediments would not have originated from you and in the end you just did everything right (you never erred).

“Seek and you shall find, in due time…”

6

We’re all gonna die. Let’s live in the meantime.

7

One thing I consider is if a man should die as a father someday. How many fathers would face death with courage or cowardice? I believe that the current non-culture, pop culture of America promotes more cowardice and weakness than anything else. Death is feared, not confronted. Death is taboo and a disruptive topic. Americans are far removed from death–except by heart disease, cancer, car crashes, and drug overdoses.

Anyway, I’m reminded of a father who must face his death in front of his own children. Ought he die bravely, or like a coward, crying, sobbing, begging for mercy? Ought he die like the man choking to death on a chicken bone stuck in his windpipe? It says something about death, bravery, and humiliation. It must be a haunting experience, for children, to see their father or mother die in horrible ways, full of fear, suffering, pain, and misery. Children probably inherit this fear. But some children are lucky to have fathers and mothers of strong spiritual constitution, courageous and noble. And these fathers and mothers, are wise. Within this wisdom, is the knowledge and foresight of death. Death is accepted as inevitable.

Man cannot escape fate. Man cannot transcend his mortal destiny. Therefore, death must become prepared for, as demonstrated by the ancient philosophers.

Part of this preparation includes the confrontation of death, with courage. In order to reject this humiliation, of inevitability, of fate, of determinism, of a destiny you cannot avoid or fight against no matter how hard you try, you must at least accept the fear of death as a worthy battle.

Christians, in my opinion, do not do this. Christians have a weak spiritual constitution. Because Christians are convinced that they will go to Heaven, or Hell, and there is an “afterlife”. There is life after death. Therefore, death should not be feared. It is not until you falsify or doubt this presupposition, that Christians fill with fear. If you take away Heaven and Hell, then Christians balk and cower before a different atheistic or pagan perspective.

The point is, if you do not prepare for death adequately, then someday your children may become imprinted by your cowardice in the face of death. That cowardice is highly memorable. This is the type of memory that sticks and absorbs for a lifetime. I am reminded of catastrophic events, wars, or terrorist attacks, when parents and adults die in front of their children, and in front of a nation.

“maybe it was Hemingway said that all men die like dogs” I like this quote, referred by felix dakat.

However, I believe some men can confront death with courage, and perhaps, dignity. But not most men. Most men do not prepare for the step into absolution, and act as cowards in their final moments. These ones, the cowards, leave a memory to their children. I’ll call this a memetic inheritance of a sort, of the fear of death. This inheritance is very traumatic. I think this inheritance concentrates within popular, organized religions. I believe that popular religions pose an afterlife, because the alternative is just too scary and horrific. If there is no afterlife, then isn’t death truly worth fearing? Isn’t death then truly horrible?

Popular religion is needed, including Christianity, as a necessity to prevent the common man and woman from foreseeing death, thinking about it too much, and preparing accordingly. Maybe this is why philosophy is so unpopular. A lot of philosophy requires the acceptance of and preparation for death. Much of philosophy requires a thinker to understand that this life is the only one. There is no afterlife. Maybe there is or is not. But it’s obvious to the philosopher which people immediately exclude the other premise. It’s immediately obvious which people, and type of people, exclude the possibility of death. Because it is too horrifying.

There is a positive conclusion, though. And to the philosopher who adequately prepares for death, thus becoming wise, he will at least know and begin to realize how important every moment in life truly is. And this is where I find solace in the facts. How to spend time in life, enjoying life and “living life”, especially with those you love and care for the most.

The time spent with those closest to you, becomes all the more important.

8

It seems that the only way we can prepare for death is to put our business in order including making arrangements for our body after we’re dead. Apart from that, it seems to me when can only prepare for dying, as, unlike death, that is something we may actually experience. Your examples above seem to be about dying not death.

That’s true. But is it enough just to wish to avoid expressing fear before one’s children? One needs an actual means of dying with equanimity like Socrates is said to have done, for instance. I propose that we affirm the knowledge that we will not experience death, and that even in the presence of the symptoms of dying except for overwhelming pain, we can experience the preciousness of life.

No because we won’t experience it.

Yes

9

Having often been in this “embarrassing” situation of watching people die, I agree that we are practicing all our lives to die in dignity. It is also true, that we die as we have lived. However, whether we believe in Heaven, reincarnation and karma or whatever, if there is something we take with us, it is our attitude towards life and how we take the things which are thrown at us – including illness and death. If we have learnt to hold ourselves dignified in all humility when we are at ease, we will retain dignity in dis-ease.

This applies of course even if you don’t expect to live on.

10

Well, that is more of poetry than philosphy, though i have to admit that it is a good one.

And, by the way, Christians are not supposed to believe in the God just because they fear death. There are other valid reasons of that.

And, let me tell you that living the moment in virtue is most important among those.

With love,
sanjay

11

I was thinking in the shower today that if I was told I was going to die, the first choice I’d make is this: okay, time to show your children how a brave man dies.

I don’t know where it came from, but it’s a running theme for me. I’ve started to focus on bravery as my object of worship, and it sort of works, a kind of built in transcendence, a reason to do things.

I can’t swallow religion, although I admire it immensely. Many religions give you instructions for what to do, how to do the exact right thing every time. A religious man dying might decide: I will now die precisely the way my God proscribes. I will follow His instructions, for that is all I can do. I know in Judaism there are ample instructions, for Torah is nothing if not the age-old refinement of moral genius. For instance, Torah knows what to do in any moral dilemma, where man on his own falls short. Do you push the fat man onto the tracks? Don’t sweat it, the Torah has a precise answer, they’ve worried for you so you don’t have to.

But if you don’t ascribe to any particular repository of pre-fab instructions, you might be a bit lost. For instance, if something bad happens, you might act like a coward, or do more damage to those around you, and then feel guilty and confused. This is because you’re not prepared, you don’t know what you value and you don’t know what to do.

Worshipping courage seems like a solution. Courage, to me, means doing what you know is right even when you’re scared or pulled in an opposite direction. It’s a second level of free will that animals don’t have, courage may be where our humanity sits, whatever that means. It feels like it belongs to us, its genesis recedes farther than we can see, it’s not like a nerve response, it’s more akin to an artistic creation built on a primal aesthetic that is as fundamental as our very flesh, for me anyway. You, too?

To go about life choosing courage begs the question, what do you really feel is right? What standard do you hold against your choices in the face of fear? This is a tougher question, but it’s not impossible. It’s finally where most of your brainwork should take place – in that arena. Contemplate on what YOU feel is “right.” When you wake, when you sleep. It’s in you, it just takes contemplation. And as you refine this definition of the “good,” your only action left is courage, to walk that line even if it scares you. Don’t mistake “the good” for your center, your purpose, your God. For it’s untethered to any particular thing, which is why it always needs refining. Rather, the true object of worship lies in the verb, the act of courage, the concept perhaps, too, the noun, courage. It defies part of speech, it’s also an adjective. This is different from arbitrarily deciding courage is Good, thereby making the Good precede courage. I have found that in order to even begin parsing the Good, a human must possess the courage to do so.

The rug pull moment of my philosophical career is when I realized the key to life is not a noun or a thing. It is a verb, an act. I once said: eureka! Forget belief in God, for BELIEF is God. This idea that belief itself is some sort of essential core to human sanity and is therefore God itself, followed me for a long time, until I realized that there was something primary to it, a glue holding that belief in place, a choice, a toughness, keeping the belief in belief from slipping into oblivion. The glue, that essential fiber, for me, is courage. existence may precede essence, but I have found that courage lies in between the two. Existence precedes courage which precedes essence, at least that’s how it feels now that I worship courage. Maybe there’s a better way to say it. It takes courage to generate that which is good. But is courage good? A paradox, much in the way God as first cause is a paradox. Many people believe in God anyway. I believe in Courage as a first cause, at least w/r/t my conscious identity.

If you get a death sentence, rejoice, for the best gift you can give others, and therefore yourself, is a lesson they will need someday. Show them how a man of courage dies. Or, how a man of courage x. Fill in the blank. Show the universe what courage is. Is that not man’s greatest privilege, greatest opportunity? And is showing the universe how a coward does x not the ultimate humiliation, the ultimate absurdity?

If belief in God got humanity to this plateau, perhaps going forward we would do well to shift to belief in Courage, held against a constantly refined, near-universal set of morals. Enter Couragism.

12

It takes greater courage to live than it does to die. But the courage to live is obtained when we experience death. Unlike Felix, I think we experience death countless times in our lives. We just ignore it. Every small loss we experience creates inner stress. At the time of death everything we hold as important, precious and valuable is taken away from us. We tend to think of death as a singularity rather than many events that progressively take away our freedoms over an extended period of time.

If we enjoy our present freedoms and are upset when they are taken away from us then we lack the courage to live or die. Instead all we seek is the comfort of familiarity… we are like a lost child.

Edit: sorry for spelling. Sent from my phone.

13

When I was 8, my neighbor shot my dog while it was running across my yard and I went and watched it die right there and while it may have been slightly traumatic, I don’t feel like I, nor the dog were humiliated.

Another time when I was 20 I was strapped to this board on the side of the road naked bleeding everywhere, they’d strapped me down because I wouldn’t stop trying to exercise my right to refuse treatment. I was doing so because I had a friend right there trying to take me to a hospital, but the local fire dept guys were insistent that I wait a while for a 4 thousand dollar ambulance ride. So then I end up in this ambulance and so I was kinda still flailing around a bit and screaming a lot of insults and obscenities at these people who’d nearly let me bleed out in order to make their buck, and so now I’m all shaking and flailing and if I hadn’t been strapped to this board the whole ambulance would have been a wreck so like I was in this state of shock there and this dumb bitch says to me, “are you in pain?” and I had no control of my eyeballs or anything else and I said to her, “bitch I’d better not die”, then I went out and they ended up hitting me with the defibrillator and the next thing I know I wake up angry as fuck in some trauma unit with these 2 huge guys basically holding me up by my armpits for a full body xray. I then wake up again and this Dr is standing over me and I’m all half dead and all, and he says, “where all are you bleeding from?” and I replied, “everywhere but the penis”, with an inflection that deepened my voice when I said penis. Then everyone laughed. Those guys were all stressed out.

Again, I didn’t feel humiliated and that was pretty close to death. I felt pretty pissed off. I mean, you don’t exactly feel like you’re at the top of your game when you’re naked and bleeding out strapped to a board in shock, but humiliated seems like a bit of a stretch, and if that feeling were there, I don’t know if it’d be the main thing you would be feeling.

14

This quest takes on a different meaning as one ages and as one begins to discard the burdens of youth.

I had many similar experiences to you in my youth too but I have now watched many people die. It is humiliating in the sense that it strips a person of their pride. The more people I watch die the smaller my pride becomes.It is a blessing.

15

That sounds reasonable, I’m sure most of us want to make a brave show of it. However, I have always found that the bravest souls have been those whose bravery has been somehow the everyday and unspectacular kind. There have been so many heroes who have been show to be either frauds, or they have themselves played down the hype on them, that I think that, whilst I appreciate what you’re saying, I’d warn against too stereotyped ideas of bravery.

That’s interesting, you’ll have to tell me where to find those texts. I have yet to find anything which I could just “pick up and use” in the way you’re describing – perhaps I’m missing something. I have always found that I have to read between the lines and adapt what I find helpful to my circumstances. Having said that, I do believe that the Bible can help us to face up to the bits of life that we can’t bear, in ways that are not immediately obvious, but if you can’t stomach it, then you need some other means.

I have found that people with faith still cry out when they have pain and people who reject faith are just as brave (or not) as any believer. There is sometimes a serenity around death which seems to be there (or not) regardless of what people believe or worship. On the other hand, many a person who has rebuked those who cry or shout out in death has shown that he was no better. I believe that the thing we all need is some psychological basis for bravery, which seems to be trust. Whether we trust in God or anything else at the time of death, it seems to be this trust that is tested at that time.

Worshiping courage could end up being the same as worshiping love in the end effect. It is abstract and something we need ourselves to cope with the confrontation with the end of our lives rather than something we hope someone else has for us. The need for courage in the face of death is because of the unknown, whether we have (underlying) ideas of purgatory or the kind, or whether it is just the ineffable “nothingness” that disturbs us. But love can work in a similar way, embracing the inevitable in thankfulness for what we have experienced; for life, which has now reached an end. But like you say, the apprehension is deeply rooted in us, and I think that it is this that requires a basic or even fundamental trust which goes deeper or is at least at the same level. All the things we tell ourselves but which do not bring about this fundamental faith are only cosmetic. I too hope that I have this deep seated trust.

I think that you have to be courageous, which is what I understand you saying, rather than “having courage” or even admiring it, just as you have to love actively, rather than “feel love”.

You have proceeded further down the line than many “believers” and that is good! It is this existential and experiential aspect of faith that is missing in protestant Christianity especially, especially considering the example we are given is a mild man staying on line, even to death on a cross. His courage is what Christians call “obedience”, but it is courage rooted in a fundamental faith or trust in the fact that this is his part in humanity, his role to play, his job to do, his calling. He trusted in the assumption, that his death would have far-reaching consequences for humanity – or so the story goes.

Whilst I think I have understood what you are saying, and it goes in line with what I have said above, I still don’t warrant a death sentence – and that is another aspect of courage: Standing up for justice, even if there seems no point. This seems to me to be where societies today fail miserably, and the few good examples are exemplified like saints. The normalcy of standing up to what is wrong is left to the extremists and fanatics, which gives it the tint of their agenda.

It seems to me that belief in God was supposed to make people courageous, but perhaps it has been lost over time …

16

Torah, talmud, ask a rabbi, etc. it’s not hard. in fact, if you choose to open a gemara you will discover the equivalent of a libraries worth of legal documents that are derived by prophets and taken in may cases for halacha, or divine law. there is no guesswork in moral dilemmas, or moral behavior whatsoever.

Agreed, and if this is the case, the courage was the point, not the belief. i’m just wondering if maybe the courage itself is all that’s needed, and not the belief in God, and I’m sure the answer is a definite maybe, and that’s fine. it’s going to be different for everyone. A think belief can give people courage, but it can just as easily feed into cowardice, which, as you point out, may be a more modern phenomenon.