As the tallest land-based creature they can see further than any other similar beast and as such make the best blue skies thinkers in all the animal kingdom
As they sleep only 20 minutes in every 24 hours they make excellent watch dogs as well
Their speed necessitates a rapid decision-making system, hence they make the best spin doctors as well
Giraffes are primarily neck and limb - i.e. body parts that are primarily there for action rather than reflection - as such they would make wonderful soldiers
Giraffes are one of those binary animals, either you love them or hate them, as such in their capacity as soldiers they would either scare opposing troops out of their wits or make them go so soft-hearted that they’d be easy pickings…
Giraffes are worth their weight in gold (they don’t weigh much) and so would make an excellent emergency currency in times of economic crisis
All things considered we should try to increase the global giraffe population…
Giraffes can hold up to 55 litres of air and as such could make excellent storage vessels for clowns who need helium for their balloons. And it’s far more romantic to have your balloon inflated from a slightly dizzy Giraffe than a faceless 6 foot steel canister.
A giraffe heart can grow to 2 feet long and as such could be used as a home for a rodent pet, such as a gerbil. One could also use it to make all sorts of bad ‘home is where the heart is’ jokes…
Giraffes are hardy beasts, the babies drop nearly two meters, head first, when they are born. As such they could could probably be genetically engineered to develop bulletproof skin, thus furthering their military capacity
Giraffes can outrun humans, as such they’d make excellent substitutes for horses. Imagine going into battle riding an armour-plated giraffe…
Giraffes are so cool that a Brooklyn band named themselves after them
