[In a “journo bar” somewhere]
I’m Chris Johnston, the Iraq war correspondant for channel such-and-such, and I’m one of the bravest men alive. I’ve just got back from Iraq, where I spent three weeks with the armed forces. I had to wear a bullet proof vest and a helmet - I looked so tough and sexy. Boy, was it dangerous - I nearly got shot twice (one time the bullet missed my manly chin by 1 cm) and I was literally a stone’s throw away from a suicide bomb. I stayed in a hotel in a small town not far from some pretty intense fighting. Every day could’ve been my last day alive: God, how did I survive out there. There was blood everywhere, and women and children screaming. I actually saved a child’s life, but that’s another story. I’m going back in 6 months time to do more reporting. It’s hell, but someone’s gotta have the guts to do it.
Shall we fuck now or later?