Three Hundred Feet Up

Inspired by a bout with opiates or hallucinogens?

Nope, I don’t do drugs. I’m not entirely sure what this one’s about. Maybe just a strange meditation, or maybe something about interconnectedness. Somebody who often understands my stuff better than I suggested elsewhere that maybe it’s somebody just looking for a bit of drama. I like that and I think it works as well as anything. I don’t always know exactly what they mean. I just write 'em.

Hey rainey,

I really like this one. It’s actually one of my favorites from you - very well written. Personally, I like the titled you have it posted under better than your second thought. In the next to last stanza you have a “than” that should been a “then”, too. I don’t want to get too picky - you know me - but as you’re certainly clever enough to right so finely, you should be even more clever in your editing out all the little weeds that have managed to find themselves among your vivid imagery. For instance, I don’t know if you’re under the opinion that if the same thing can be said with less words, it should. But if ya are, there are a few spots here you can shorten a hair or two.

Great job!

Thanks TUM. I appreciate the comments. Yes, sometimes I get the then/than thing confused. But here it’s a comparison, no? One thing is slightly less stupid than another? I could easily be wrong.

Yes, by all means, a decent poem ought not have anything extraneous. I have no doubt there’s some stuff could be cut here and would welcome your suggestions.

rofl… talk about getting then and than confused… :astonished: i don’t know what happen back there, i assure you i haven’t touched a drug in days! Sorry man, you’re quite right. #-o

Hey want to know something cool? The day after I read your deer poem - I dreamt about hunting deer (nightmare too, if I recall). Thanks for that, Powder! ;p

I wouldn’t edit this poem, Rainey, as TUM siggests, however slightly.

Even though it mat be interpreted as ‘wordy’. I think the conversational internal monologue stream of consciousness approach --with a surrealistic twist-- utilized in the structure of how this poem was composed allows for a little leverage in the ‘wordiness’ which is kept to a minimum and doesn’t negatively affect the poem .

–lhw