To hold a pigeon in thy hands

Social Forums Non-Philosophical Chat
1

There’s something I’ve been meaning to do for years, which a recent short story by UndergroundMan has reminded me about. It is to pick up a street pigeon.

I’ll have gloves on, as I won’t know where it’s been. And I’ll hold it sideways, lest it shit on me. Finally, even though I won’t squeeze it or do anything else bad to it, I’ll be sure to tense up my hands, in anticipation of its wing power, which I predict will be deceptively strong.

Has anyone here ever picked up a pigeon, for example in a city centre or at a railway station? If you did, how was it?

2

Rat’s with wings! That’s all they are - don’t want to be touching that!

I am told that Homeless people naturally evovle into Pigeons…well, particularly in Glasgow…

Riddled with disease and Alcohol problems: they’ll shit all over your car.

3

Yes, they’re so light that you won’t know that you’re holding anything.

4

Be very careful. I found out the hard way that they squish very easily. I felt like that guy from “of mice and men”.

5

pigeons fly a lot

6

I’ll bear that in mind, thanks.

7

This coming from a man who called the Japanese ‘slanty-eyed little bastards’.

8

Did he call Pigeons - Rat’s with wings - too!? It’s a common Glaswegian insult against the Pigeon Race. They litter the Streets, shit on the Cars, fly in your face like German War planes, but I suppose they’re not a bad lot, compared to us.

9

Unless I’m very much mistaken, yes, he did. However, it may have been on an episode of Spitting Image (rumoured to be returning to our TV screens this year, but no sign of it yet).

We litter the streets, shit in the sea, abuse almost every other creature we come into contact with, insult and kill each other all the time…