In my 47 years, I have learned this.
Sometimes it is better to be lucky then good.
(Really its true)
The truth is often way weirder then fiction.
Beware of anybody who says “this is going to (or has) hurt me
more then you” They are lying.
Also beware of anybody who says “you’ll thank me for this later”
Perhaps but after a wholelotta cursing them out in between.
The check is never, ever in the mail.
A mom can be your best friend or worst enemy.
The same could be said of your family.
The only true friend in the universe is a dog,
and then only if you feed them every day.
Moral of story, Even the most selfless friend still needs feeding.
Beware of somebody who say that “they have your best interest in mind”
They don’t.
Barry Bonds does not look good in a wig.
The hardest lesson I ever learned is this, figuring out who has
the problem is the hardest and most important lesson I ever had.
In any situation, someone has the problem, make sure its not
you and never, never, make their problem, your problem.
Know who has the problem. First order of business in every
situation.
The universe is not after you…
It doesn’t care enough to go after you personally.
It just seems like it sometimes.
Men and women have totally different agenda’s
and don’t even have a common point of reference.
Men are from mars and women are from… god’s know where?
The only point they connect is in the bedroom and even that
is sometimes.
Be careful of what you ask for, you might get it.
It doesn’t really seem like it, but we do get the life we deserve.
Shit happens. But its ok because it also happens to the other
6 billion people on earth too. Today is just your day for shit.
And on the back side, good happens, but its okay because
it also happens to the other 6 billion people in earth too.
Today is just your day for good.
And in any case, no matter what day it is, the universe says,
hay, its nothing personal. Just doing my job.
No matter what happens, don’t take life seriously.
I took something serious in ohhhh, 1978,
during the Carter administration. Haven’t made
that mistake since then.
And the final lesson I have learned.
From the day you are born to the day you die,
all you have is yourself, so you may has well
learn to like yourself. You are stick with yourself
all your life.
Kropotkin
