TOGETHER

[Doug.E.Barr]

We’re all in this together mate.
We all will suffer the same fate.
Strip all the oceans, fields and streams,
Theirs will not be the only screams.
Clear mountain air that I will breathe
Is still what all the others leave.
For all, our money more or less,
Is only meaningless success.
Our religions, philosophies,
They all dry up in the same breeze.
Why do we all then subdivide
In separate ‘cars’ for our short ride?
It’s so much harder to endure
Feelings that we are insecure.

By God let’s get off our asses
Before too much more time passes.
All of us must pull together
If this storm we are to weather.
A failure individually
Will fail us all collectively.
And this storm’s end will not begin
Another test that we might win.
When this is over, our will done,
God won’t bring back to us the sun.

[Gobbo]

ahmen! Solid Poem

I’m almost tempted to start a thread about your sig though…

[Doug.E.Barr]

@Old_Gobbo

ahmen! Solid Poem

I’m almost tempted to start a thread about your sig though…

Which part, the part about God or the link to my other poem? I don’t like to talk about the former; its like trying to grasp a cloud. The latter is concrete; that we could chip away at.

…and thanks for the compliment

[Gobbo]

It was the former…

We could ignore it for a sec and argue the assertion that something is beyond the realm of discussion though

I’m just being a pest though, feel free to take out the raid at anytime.

[Doug.E.Barr]

@Old_Gobbo

It was the former…

We could ignore it for a sec and argue the assertion that something is beyond the realm of discussion though

I’m just being a pest though, feel free to take out the raid at anytime.

That’s my kind of argument, one that ends before it begins.

We used to hate blackflies until we learned they pollinated blueberry bushes.

[Gobbo]

That’s my kind of argument, one that ends before it begins.

Evidently…yes.

[Doug.E.Barr]

@Old_Gobbo

That’s my kind of argument, one that ends before it begins.

Evidently…yes.

Wait…what are we talking about?

[Colinsign]

Decent couplet form, I often find the couplet form can easily become stale, but you managed to keep this one flowng along quite nicely.

‘When this is over, our will done,
God won’t bring back to us the sun.’

Decent idea but the placement of the words seems a little
contrived

the last line in particular
why not simply:

‘God won’t bring us back to the sun.’

Strong couplet.
Keep it up.
The pen is mightier than the sword
but it’s a good idea to keep a sword handy…

[Gobbo]

I thought this…

@I

We could ignore it for a sec and argue the assertion that something is beyond the realm of discussion though

@Then you

That’s my kind of argument, one that ends before it begins.

Then I was like… oh…

@So I

Evidently… yes

[Doug.E.Barr]

@Old_Gobbo

I thought this…

@I

We could ignore it for a sec and argue the assertion that something is beyond the realm of discussion though

@Then you

That’s my kind of argument, one that ends before it begins.

Then I was like… oh…

@So I

Evidently… yes

I am sorry I misunderstood your first statement. I assumed an argument about something beyond the realm of discussion would be short. I do love short arguments. In fact I would prefer they didn’t begin. Had we not been separated by the rest of Canada I would have seen your tongue was not in your cheek. So you delete your last comment, I’ll delete my comment and we can start over. You lead.

[Doug.E.Barr]

@Colinsign

Decent couplet form, I often find the couplet form can easily become stale, but you managed to keep this one flowng along quite nicely.

‘When this is over, our will done,
God won’t bring back to us the sun.’

Decent idea but the placement of the words seems a little
contrived

the last line in particular
why not simply:

‘God won’t bring us back to the sun.’

Strong couplet.
Keep it up.
The pen is mightier than the sword
but it’s a good idea to keep a sword handy…

Thank you. I don’t write a lot of poetry. In fact this is my second poem. I don’t know why I am attracted to rhyming couplets. Perhaps it was an overdose of hymns and nursary rhymes as a child; but I do like the precision. I like realistic painting too. I am also partial to the weak/strong rhythm of the heart so I put my supreme effort into arranging words to echo that beat. It just so happened that in the case of my last line my rhythmic arrangement of the words conveyed most precisely my intended meaning. If God is, God can ‘turn on the light’ but can’t tell us where to go or lead us “back” from self-destruction.