…interpreted through the mouth of Glaswegian Linda Maxwell when asked in various contexts the whereabouts of her husband, Danny Maxwell…
The Ontological Argument: There He is.
The Cosmological Argument: He could be anywhere.
The Teleolgical Argument: He is somewhere around here.
The Moral Argument: I need Him right now.
The Arguement by Design: I made this [size=59]plc[/size]
Christian Conception: He’ll be back any minute.
Jewish Conception: He has yet to come back.
Islam: Wait till I get my hands on Him.
Hindu: He is nowhere to be seen.
Athiest: I could kill Him.
Nihilist: He can fuck off.
Opmistist: He’ll be back any minute now.
Pessimist: He’s never coming back and he hates me.
Idealist: He knows what he’s doing…
Realist: I’ve never met the man.
Surrealist: A girl dressed as a man, you say, with a large calculator?
(I’m quite sure this list could be added to and improved for comic value. Any improvements of additional ideas whether slanderous or in praise are more than welcome)