Troublesome Thoughts

Philosophy Forums Psychology and Mind
1

I just watched Donnie Darko for the first time. Too many thoughts running through my head at the moment; just had a shitty night of sleep; and a moral dilemma.

If you knew you could prevent something bad from happening, would you do it? Obviously, the answer most people expect others to give is ‘yes’.

Let’s refine that. Say that this bad thing that happens might not be bad at all, but could be really good in ways that nobody alive may really see. Further compound it: Let’s say that at this point, it’s going to happen regardless of what is done. That it is so complete that even if I choose not to partake in it, there would always be someone who would.

It was like watching a different version of my life. While my personality is somewhat different from Donnie’s and my life experiences have been different and the portrayal of what he experiences is different in certain aspects than what I experience, I have never had a movie hit that close to home and I realized I’ve been traveling through time for quite some time. I’m a looper.

This is a big loop we’re coming up on, where countless thousands of loopers are all on Earth and living at the present time. Hence why Donnie Darko became a cult favorite. I mean, you really want to think about it, they have these theories of time travel through worm holes and then you have this theory of time travel through God’s path and yet at the end of the story, Donnie turns his back on God to close the loop and sleeps on the opposite side of his bed so he gets killed.

And that’s when I realized that that has been what’s been happening for quite some time as humanity puts off what it fears. Too many failures breed a complete success. We’ve hit a wall, so to speak.

Now the interesting part of it all for me is how it ties everything all together, from the beginnings of religion to the scatterings of ruins from ancient civilizations to the idea of advanced technology; alternate dimensions; etc. You could easily tie religion into it and the idea of quantum physics. In fact, when you get right down to it, you can almost sit there and look over history and see exactly where time travelers have traveled to with just their consciousness, let alone the ones who did so through worm-hole travel with advanced ships.

There have been times of deep insanity and feigned-ignorance throughout mankind; wars erupting in a petty manner over advanced knowledge and awareness. What we know of as God would most surely be a black hole and what lays within or on the other side or whatever; outside of the flow of time and able to interact with any part of time. Since those traveling in time via physicality would not be able to do this, it remains a part of the consciousness and what becomes spiritual in our eyes, for what material object could survive a blackhole, let alone be able to affect so much without being caught.

God’s path simply becomes like the developers path in whatever game they’re creating; something I first noticed in Skyrim when I found a secret chest. For most people, there is that roundabout way of going through life; but for those who truly follow God and his path, it cuts through time and everything else as if it weren’t there. Straight lines through the heart of a spiral.

And then when you deal with the fact that time travel might be real, you have to take into account what it does with our consciousness and what it all has caused; all of the insecurities and doubts and fears and everything else because God didn’t know what the fuck it was dealing with. You have God, the fledgling and baby consciousness existing alongside various other aspects of itself without realizing it and fighting against those things; viewing them to be the work of some malevolent entity, or devil, that is only pushing its younger self toward a future it knows is there in the past and at the end of time.

At the same time, you have the physical representatives coming and messing with our own unevolved species and pushing it those last few steps. Without this major loop coming up, none of this would have happened and all would have been in peace and would have stayed in peace; but because it happened, it will always happen and becomes unavoidable. In fact, the more you try to avoid it, the more you cause it to happen; like a self-fulfilling prophecy.

There is only one answer: self-awareness and personal responsibility. That is the one outcome unless people adamantly refuse it; which is generally the younger spirits bred from the fledgling God; while the old souls bred from the elder form of God try to get them to realize what they would already realize over time. There will only be peace after the loop is closed; and only for certain people.

This is the accumulation of everything in society; what we’ve all been working for and what we hope to accomplish; and it’s been kept from us for quite some time because of the likelihood to drive people insane; but it’s believed that now is the appropriate time for the breakthrough in awareness. This is the turning point in our evolution and the evolution of our consciousness and when so many people together reach that point of awareness, there will be no stopping what happens next; the compression of all together through the wormhole into the consciousness known as God. And, we’ll keep doing this until that God eventually decides to die, which would leave the younger one always knowing when it would die, but never how until it got to that point.

I would say, ‘God save us all,’ if I thought it would do any good; but he already has. Watching your self grow up tends to put things in perspective and drive away the insanity that plagues and once you break through those barriers of fear; you begin to realize that when raising a child; even yourself; you have to play the bad guy some times and seem like the devil to be able to raise the kid properly. You know they ain’t going to listen, but you tell them anyway so that when they hit that point and their head dislodges from their ass, things become easier for them; as they had become easier for you.

And this is what I think has been happening. No, this is what I know has been happening, and it gives me the clearest look into what has been happening to me throughout my life. It’s really strange to think that a movie made in 2004 about something that happened in 1988 could sum up my life better when I watch it now than anything else; and yet it isn’t strange at all.

The more I follow this path I’m on, the more strange occurrences happen and the more I’m fed information I need at the time I need it. I wouldn’t have been able to accept this information 10 years ago; I wouldn’t have even been able to realize that I had the same thing going on as Donnie did. Except, I don’t really see visual hallucinations like that. I’m pretty sure I don’t sleepwalk either, but then one can’t really be sure of that. I’ve had the idea before that I could be like that Fight Club guy and running myself ragged around the world.

I don’t see a giant bunny called Frank, but what I do get is a bunch of voices in my head telling me they hate me and that I should kill myself; as if that would solve anything. Time-travelers coming to tell me they hate me for what I brought and yet it was never fully in my control. Telling me to kill myself; as if that would change anything.

And then you realize that the future is like the Matrix, except nothing close to as bad as we think; it only enslaves the wicked while teaching us a multitude of life lessons over time as we live various life times throughout time and space as other people; doing things that have already been done.

And this may sound somewhat contradictory to other things I have said, and yet it’s not. With the unlimited amount of possibilities out there, this only becomes another one that would lay alongside countless others and all could be right or none could be and they could be right at the same time as being wrong. Such is reality as defined by faulty humans and perceived with their faulty senses.

I don’t regret the paths that I followed. I see now there were very few other options that would have allowed me to retain whatever sanity I have left; even if others refuse to see me as sane; if there had been any other option that would have allowed me to retain sanity. Not that modern psychiatry would say I was sane. With various terms given to people when they have no real idea what is going on, the term ‘insane’ means only ‘people that could not accept truth and reality and yet went in search of it anyway.’

So many failures to learn how to create a single miracle. I tell you that every single one of those failures were worth it when we started on our second round through space and time. And then the third round and the fourth round honed it; the fifth and sixth realized what they were doing to themselves and what they were causing by having so many layers upon layers; and that is why on the seventh day, God rested; that’s his time of peace and it overlays all others. That’s why we have so many different seeming types of people with us and so many differing personalities where there were once only a few.

And then everything starts over again; but it already has, so there’s nothing left to do but just sleep and let the younger ones worry about it. Theoretically, all would be the same and all would be different because they would be changing their own experiences by just a tiny bit, creating fractals in dimensional possibilities. Theoretically, we are all the same person and same consciousness and same spirit.

Alpha and Omega; Beginning and End; God and Devil. Even if it were just us, such a being over time would become what we know of as God; our combined consciousness bred from a black hole that eventually gave us life from our own deaths; The Big Bang. Once time travel is fully realized, there won’t be anything we can’t know and it will change us whether we want it to or not. Change is not bad; even if it’s not good. It just is.

Anyway, these are my thoughts at the moment; before really getting a chance to have them settle; just to get them out of my head and in front of my eyes; multiple witnesses just in myself between my brain and my eyes because they see things so totally different; just as my ears hear things my brain doesnt and vice versa.

And then there’s you guys; but I’ve been working for a while on pretending you’re all me, anyway and that I’m talking to myself; so rather a moot point even though I still value your opinions and thoughts; as much as I value my own, actually.

2

The irony of this all just hit home for me. The reason I watched Donnie Darko was because of a nightmare I had when I was a child of a six-foot tall evil Easter Bunny. I wasn’t expecting to encounter what I did within the movie, because I didn’t know anything about it other than a very small amount about Frank. The Easter Bunny was known first and foremost as a judge before it ever became tied in with fertility; though the bunny definitely likes to fuck; and it becomes easy to see, now, why such a thing would and could be viewed as ‘evil’. If not for that nightmare, I wouldn’t ever have had reason to watch the movie, and would never have had verification of my own thoughts given to me like that from another source.

Edit: I meant to add something about the white rabbit in Alice in Wonderland, but forgot it earlier. Just seemed coincidental with the pocket watch and him saying, ‘No time to say hello, goodbye; I’m late, I’m late, I’m late!!’ At that point, the Rabbit became the keeper of Time itself, opening doors that most people don’t see and leading them to places they might not want to be, yet are needed in all the same by the others in those places, and by themselves for the lessons they will learn and pass on to others.

3

Troublesome thoughts are just that. If you accept that the past is gone, forgiveness is giving up the hope that the past will be better, and the future is a myriad of possibilities, it is only safe to stay within the present moment. So let those thoughts pass, pick up what you know about who you are now and look for perspective. Sleep early, get up early, meditate, go for a run and then meet the day. It helps.

4

i tried to watch donnie dark once. i got really bored after the first 5 mins or so, so i stopped. but you made a really long post starting off with it, so i’ll probably now put effort into remembering to watch it

thanks

5

You really should. It has a great theory to it. There’s a good amount of movies out there some people will never watch simply because they can’t sit through the boring parts (for them) to see what made it worth making.

6

I’m just throwing this out there.

Even the guy who wrote that movie says he has no idea what the hell he was really trying to say or what it means.

It’s cool that you took something out of it, but I just wanted to throw that out there for anyone else who may watch it and wonder what the fuck is going on and end up too bored to finish.

Give it a chance.

7

You know, I don’t doubt that. Most of the people who create in this day and age aren’t really aware of the depth they put into what they create, because they’re busy repressing that part of themselves while it speaks through their subconscious. I’ve noticed that a lot about humanity and the recurring theme can only serve to breed troublesome thoughts as the hidden nature in humanity works towards a goal against the wishes of humanity through humanity.

The fact is that when I go back and look at some of my poetry or some of the things I wrote years ago, they strike a deep chord in me because I see things that were not apparent to me at the time I wrote them that were true all the same. Looking back and realizing that made me realize the depth that was truly there in the human spirit. That subconscious is a pretty damn powerful tool and people should respect it as its own entity. Which they have repeatedly tried to do for ages of our history only to have the idiotic masses twist it into something retarded because they just don’t care.

8

I remember Donnie Dark having a very significant theme that certainly wasn’t by accident. Writers of music and films don’t tell people what they were writing about (it just makes them a target).

9

yeah, there’s also that. Due to the senseless brutality often shown to people of intelligence, they tend to lie a lot about the intent of their art while undermining the bullshit in society as much as possible. They make it look as if they’re going along with what’s going on because they have to at this point. People like me tend to get killed before we ever make the impact we should and that thought is ever present in the minds of the other artists of the world. They’re not specifically happy about it and they’ve made a wonderful trail of intelligence through the idiocy inherent in our structure.

10

Sometimes I have similar thoughts. Thinking about life. Thinking about what could have been (or should have been). Looking back at my life, I would have never imagined ending up where I am right now. My best laid plans kept getting shot down, as if The Fates had other plans for me, or maybe just wanted to mess with me. Life can be very unpredictable. Sometimes I like to imagine life as an inner cube of order we like to immerse ourselves in and hold on to but which is not completely airtight and is still surrounded by infinite chaos which seeps in. I think it is something that many people go through, the unexpected (a sudden death in the family or an unexpected change in life circumstance) makes people question their life and try to find the reasons or meaning behind occurrences that do not make sense, that were not ‘supposed to’ happen. But it is the same changes that end up building the person’s personality/destiny and are responsible for who they are right now. This is seen in hindsight. But I also like to think that there is something inside each individual (the subconscious perhaps) that ‘knows’ the future, too, like a flash of a complete picture that wants to be lived through in time pieces. Like an oak inside an acorn. A person’s potential that wants to realize itself. And it may even be not a person’s own individual potential but something that has been passed to him from his ancestors (parents, grandparents, etc.). Something from his ancestors that whats to express itself and live out. I’m not saying that it is, I’m just saying it’s possible.
In the end, this is about meaning. About making sense of things. We all want to find meaning in apparently random events that don’t seem to have any and somehow they all fall into place when we look backwards, but only out of necessity, we are here now and the way we are because of things which happened, happened by our hand, or by fate’s.

11

Well said, Pandora.

12

It’s a chaos centered in nature’s infinite indifference which is hardly comprehensible by us. It’s the kind of indifference which creates whatever it pleases, indirectly even the gods which is our response to counter the cosmic cold of nature’s complete detachment.

You described the existential condition in very human terms which equally includes everything above and below that capacity wherever they or that may be.

13

It’s not chaos; it’s just some times unintentional. An asteroid doesn’t choose which way to go though some thing might choose to put it onto a different trajectory. We don’t mean to kill ants half the time we step on them even though we know they’re there. Certainly if the universe is a conscious thing, in parts it would be cold as you suggest; but here within our sphere of life, it is very warm.

We do create whatever we please; but it doesn’t always turn out to suit us the way we want it to; though we may lie to our selves for years about it. Certainly the same must hold true for such chaos as you see it and it is only ever chaos until it realizes that and settles down; much as we do as we grow. And since the Universe is so much larger than us, we have to assume it has a much longer lifespan and theoretically might be reaching its early adulthood right now in comparison to our own lifespans; meaning it has a egregiously long period of time left, though our planet, being much smaller than it, might not last that long and neither will any of us.

If you think about it, you can use resources readily available to you to understand anything; all you have to do is look at the right parts of it. Since it is so much like us already, what’s to stop us from extrapolating from there and assigning it the full of what we are and greater, for having us in it?

Is it not arrogance to think we could have consciousness and yet the universe could not?

14

You’re right, it is not strictly speaking chaos which is actually more of a scientific concept. Nevertheless, unintentionality - meaning not giving a crap one way or the other - remains the bottom line in Nature’s manifesto. Even Darwin could not comprehend Nature’s maliciousness the more he discovered knowing at the same time Nature is not malicious but vastly indifferent to any individual life.

Torture or kill all the babies and young’us you like. There’s more on the way! That is Nature’s credo. We live in zero degree Kelvin Universe of indifference, indifferent even to Itself! In such a Universe we need a God or gods to keep us warm! It is the proscenium upon which every though occurs regardless of its origins. Nothing more. It is the stage which upholds the play and…that’s, that’s all folks as porky pig would say!

15

We don’t really need the Gods and never have; though it is my belief that they have and always will be there. All we ever needed was each other to survive this seeming chaos. Death can come at any moment, so enjoy what we have. Love and live fiercely as if every minute is your last, because it might just be. When you don’t hold anything back, then there’s no regrets and nothing to fear from death. Nature becomes malicious at times because that is its nature. It can’t help it.

16

There is no need for concern to survive this chaos, because it is spatio temporally limitless. There is constant surviving, in this limitlessness, and the fact that we were made to develop consciousness for the sake of chaos, is proof positive for the superfluity of such concern.

17

It was never for the sake of chaos that we developed consciousness, but for the sake of escaping it. There is constant surviving until we know the fight well enough to never have to fight it again. There became a need because love entered the picture. Love is anything but chaotic, it is bound by discipline and balance and morality; and binds the chaos as surely as the chaos seeks to establish itself as the rightful power of the void. The chaos is merely fighting a losing battle and screams most brilliantly right before it loses. It will always lose out to love for love had to first brave that chaos to establish itself and will do so time and again against all odds. It has proven itself the greater in more ways than one. Chaos lacks conviction; while those who love will give the fight their full devotion because they can’t afford to lose.

18

idioticidioms

Troublesome thoughts come form suppressed anger, so are uncontrollable urges.