Here is just some feelings and states of mind i naturaly already have and understood and am not afraid to feel,
which i was jotting down just for kicks in a chat.
Why trust me?..
random?
What makes 1 who loves you random,
and one who cares and listens and knows so oblivious?
Trust flows why?
I would guess each is willing to share a difforent measure of pain…
But i would want it so much…
Every pain and weekness to be seen, then loved and understood.
Id like thee to tell me, even if thee wanted to die, and i would tell thee: “And so would i, because the evil causes one to die or want to, and the loss or hurt in your heart is too great an evil for me to handle… please… please live!..”
^
That 1 is about people not being scared of the other’s pains,
and about realy wanting them to live,
and being able to sympathize without hurting urself with fear as u do so.
Heres 1 about valueing and having honor for the other:
“She was seen by my eyes, but soon senced by every sence i was able to ever feel or think, and now all things that flow upon us each, like hot and cold water, dont have to be so hard… because we will be holding eachother forever. I want to love thee more then both of your perents, because 2 created thee, but 1 knows thi is one of a kind, and can never be replaced, therefor words fail my love for thee.”
And heres another one!:
“I dont want you anymore… I dont feel exited or satisfied with you at all right now… Hahahah, i scoff at this! It is balance and soundness of mind. Am i scared that im not happey enough or exited enough? Am i scared that the strong emotions have settled? No! Now your like my sister, and we were always closer then family. Pleasure will find me again, and i know the coldness of lonelyness. Your memories of all love id ever show to thee will last forever, and so will my making more of these within you last forever, because ive never had within my influance such a precious gift… and my lack of want merely helps me focus better on your need. God sent me to thee, and my will only gets in the way. Even death cannot stop me, so no thing in life will either. If im gone, ill be back, and if i forget you, i will instantly force myself to remember, that i have set my heart on our etenral futures togeather, and realy… nothing… will stop me…”
devotion~ 
Was just meditateing about how to love in an absolutely un-selfish way.
Though inspired by hetro, i am attepting to apply this knowlage of nurture,
to those who i do not feel strongly for,
yet mean it because i believe they each deserve to be fully loved.
…
& then some odd creature attacks me,
oddc:
“You dont have good looks or money!
Your un-fit, your of low value!”
Dan~:
“Id give all i had, and do what could.
A whole soul is better then a drone for pleasures.”
oddc:
“Yah, well she…”
Dan~:
“You cant speek an absolute lie can you!?
She will remember me forever! God sent me!
It was for his sake and her sake i do these things,
and feel and think this way.
Are you putting yourself above God?
Id prayed so many times.”
oddc:
“What if your wrong?”
Dan~:
“Then id lost nothing, and given all that i could.
I wanted nothing, and cannot be heart broken over it,
because i am now beyond mortal pain of love,
because it was not fleshly but of spirit,
imortal like God. I wanted nothing,
and have all i could.”
oddc:
“Thats a huge claim! Your peace is more mortal then your own frajile organic body!”
Dan~:
“The one that you sit and bitch in to!
Hypocracy of desire, is lack of faith in truth.”
oddc:
“Im sorry, but i am what they made me.”
Dan~:
“Which the holy spirit is replaceing.”
Its weird how faith and doubts can have such oposed arguments,
isnt it?
Its like mr NaySayer vs MrHope.
MrHope:
“Im gunnu do all i can in life and try hard!”
NaySayer:
“Im gunnu make you depressed because im a shit case!”
MrHope:
“But why!?”
NaySayer:
“Because ur doomed!..
actualy what i meant to say, is that i dont have any valuable reply as to my reason, because i was so arogant that i tried to join sides with my own self doubt and insecurity, so that i could “win” as i doomed myself and others, for the sake of a twisted game that i aim to loose at!
Isnt that working!?”
MrHope:
“Not realy…”
Darn, if i cannot chat with she,
then ill just post and write in my writings,
and this and that…
Life doesnt have much meaning when alone…
Yet i cant be alone!