this ebb this flow this sea
this chaos beckons me
don’t want to let go- be tossed around
yet to hold on I’m sure to drown
I must learn to set myself free
try to mold those I cannot hold
to turn this vibrant rose to gold
gain no metal- lose this flower
obsessive drive to blindly devour
this motion- this warmth turns cold
strong and wonderful if I let this go
to simply control only that which I know
these destructive hands I must still
this overwhelming drive I must kill
to discover peace to progress to grow
the clouds of delusion have left
abandoned to blistering reality
dried up
withered worn
desensitized
I did not realize
this abyss
this self-loathing disease
was the only admirable part of me
now alone and empty
I finally see
my bastard companion
was abandoned for unlikely possibility
my wrist is my canvas
my knife is my brush
my bleeding is societys
reaction- her hush
my death is my message
Id just like to say
the moment youre born
is the start of decay
I sit here so still
I am still
but still
in motion
absorbing these oceans
of vibrations
finding my meaning
through interactions
a piece of this whole
expressed through individuality
I am not myself
without you and me
no these three are not enough
they are naught
without movement
all these connections
all fluxional
amalgamate
to create
an intricate
a beautiful
and exorbitant existence
leaving me
in awe
dumbfounded by this
exploited intercourse
simplified by perception
my soul has a place to go
when my body is in the ground
where the worms will never die
and it is hot all damn year round
I cannot wait to get there
and let all of the fun begin
to live in all eternity
fully paying for all my sins
I’ll visit all the places
I’ll visit all the people too
all the monsters of the past
in this burlesque eternal zoo
but all I will do for now
is celebrate the day I fell
and wait for that fateful day
when I’ll enter the gates of hell
I am not just a product of my society
I am not in complete control of reality
infinitely before my time
likewise post my decline
this commotion
will surely stay in motion
creation is a fallacy
existence is reality
to exist is to change
to die rearrange
come with me
to embrace this sea
open to this cold
and beautiful reality
Would someone mind critiquing these?
I would appreciate any feedback.