Victims of What?

HELL(O) F(R)IEND(S)

In the United States and in other industrialized/developed nations we are facing a common problem: many of our fellow citizens are playing victim. You can often identify these citizens because they pull the race card claiming they are discriminated against and cannot achieve any meaningful existence due to the problems inherent to the society in which they live. Other identifiers include those that cite poverty and lack of opportunities meanwhile providing plenty of creative, almost humorous, rationalizations for their failures. These same people refuse to take responsibility for their actions–or lack thereof. These ‘victims’ sometimes blame the wealthy, the successful, and the accomplished upper and middle class for their condition or state of living. These fellow ‘victims’ will refer to the upper and middle class as the greedy, gluttonous, insatiable predators of civilization that have oppressed and ensured their doom.

Sadly, it is the idea that the system is setup for one’s downfall and that people are actively preventing you from receiving opportunities to advance is the very idea that indeed makes these individuals false victims because they are societal victims of self-victimization.

I propose that we stop letting these ‘societal victims’ make excuses and hold them responsible for their actions. I further propose that we should stop babysitting minorities and call them out on their poor justifications. In the United States, I would like to call out three groups that need to stop defending its lack of progress by playing victim. I speak of Black people (African-Americans) and Hispanic people (Latin{o}-Americans) and White people (Caucasian-Americans).

Group 1: African Americans. Black people were slaves–over 100 years ago. Up to as much as 45 years ago, Black people suffered much discrimination. Then a civil rights movement, led by brilliant men like Martin Luther King, Jr. and Malcolm X, came to fruition that changed laws, opinions, hearts, and minds regarding our fellow citizens. Sadly, since this period of change became stagnant and there has been a regression that has led to widespread failure that is justified by vague references to “the man” and “the system” and the “White slave master.” What happened? There was so much hope, so much change? Why have Black people failed to capitalize on a system that has provided much more opportunities to them than in their ENTIRE history in the United States? The guilt does not fall on society, the guilt lies on the heads of the group that has ceased to progress. Where are the Black leaders? I remember growing up in one of the worst neighborhoods on this side of the Earth. Common complaints by my friends were that they couldn’t make it in a “White man’s world.” It saddens me to hear such specious reasoning. I grew up in the same neighborhoods, facing the same discrimination, receiving the same opportunities as everyone else, yet I have achieved success where most of them are dead, in jail, or work at dead-end jobs. Stop making excuses!

Group 2: Latino Americans. Hispanic people face many challenges in the United States–often language barriers and poverty. My biggest grief with this group is that now that the second and third generation is coming into its own there appears to be a similar pattern of stagnation followed by regression to which Black people succumbed. So many young American BORN Hispanics are becoming gang members, or are forsaking higher education (which is a terrible decision). Why aren’t Latino American parents emphasizing the importance of education? My opinions is that there is a huge gap between what has been achieved by this group and the potential of this group. There are few notable leaders in the Latino community, if any… can anyone name a few leaders that are championing the potential for this group? Language barriers should have ended with the second generation; however, a problem continues to exist. Those that dodge college end up taking mediocre jobs with little or no opportunity–which forces them into a cycle of poverty. Also, there has been an ever increasing trend to accuse White and/or Black people for racism and blame them for their problems with community integration. Moreover, this group often jumps to conclusions that those against illegal immigration are racists and that these ‘racists’ are doing everything in their power to make it hard for Hispanics… please! Hispanics are making it hard on themselves by not getting educated, by not voting, by not becoming more prominent members of society. Victims? I think not.

Group 3: Caucasian Americans. White people are now beginning to whine about the minority groups receiving favoritism and that the immigrants are stealing their jobs and opportunities; there are even complaints by many of the working class that corporations are taking advantage of cheap offshore labor. Seriously, stop whining and making excuses. Work hard and get an education–this will help you to worry less about losing your job to a Chinese laborer. Competition is what makes Capitalism work and new blood pumps life into a society that would otherwise become stagnant. Stop resting on your laurels and start inventing a better mouse trap, a better mouse, or whatever it takes to remain productive. White people are essentially claiming to be victims of those that claim to be victims… Geez.

FINALLY, let’s get real and take responsibility. Stop making excuses. Opportunities are out there. Work hard, study hard, and be productive! The following groups are minorities that rarely make excuses: Asians, Persians, Jews, Armenians, Russians… and more. Now own up to your responsibility and go change the world!

I wish this was a pamphlet to be handed out to everyone.
Take responsibility! If nothing else, quit bitching to me like I give a damn!
Everyone wants a scapegoat.
Well, I should stop before this turns into more of a rant. Good post.

thirst4metal,

Being against racism, I want to be able to disagree with you, but I can’t. I thought that your post was well thought out, well written and had much validity. I do not consider myself a racist, but what is it about the groups that you mentioned that feed on their misfortune as if it is snackfood. I am wondering whether there is something hidden within those particular cultures that allow their young to fall prey to gangs and violence.

I hate when people generalize about certain races, but all you have to do is look at the ratio of blacks, hispanics and poor whites in our prisons. It has gotten so bad that you think of a young black/hispanic/poor white kid and you can automatically see them in the orange jumpsuit. When you think of young immigrant Russian, Jew, Asian etc. there is success and education written on their faces. Is the value of education missing in these families altogether? Is this phenomenon just in the US or do you see it also in Europe? Are young blacks immigrating from Africa having the same problem in (say) the UK? If it is just in the US, do you think our media has so much bias in the portrayal of these cultures that it makes it impossible for them to get out of this rut? Do young hispanics moving to Australia end up in gangs? Anyone from those countries please enlighten us… because frankly - I DON’T GET IT EITHER.

Good post, thirst4metal.

I work in a Philly ghetto.
Firstly the people there are not one group. So, there can be no such thing as a “black leader” and it is kind of against current American values to accept direction from a “leader” anyway.

Most of the schools are in ruin with little going on in the classroom except chaos. Real techers don’t want to work in these schools and so many of the teachers do not speak very good English although they were born in America.

Many children and adults do not know fairly common vocabulary words. So, it is difficult to explain concepts to them without taking forever and by that time attention is lost. These people are NOT (I originaly wrote just are)doing this on purpose.

Everyone in the area is like this and I believe that, at least in Philly, it stems from defeatist Irish and Black culture. These are two types of people that have been historically treated like trash. It’s a cycle.

The cycle is caused a lack of interest in the majority culture, due to the perception that you will never succeed in it. I grew up in a working class area and cannot stand the look of business suits. In my mind only a power trip clone dresses like that. In this way I can say what is considered good is really bad. Anyway, education became synonymous with rich white people. Education bad!

As a single case example:

I had a black kid (10) in my office the other day, he said that he wished that he could go back in time and kill people that made inventions. People that like technology were pussies and he didn’t like technology because he wanted to have a good reputation. Smart was for stupid people.
Then, we said that he would go back in time and kill Abe Lincoln and Harriet Tubman (sp) because he thought that we should still have slavery!!! I was like, what the fuck!! He said that black people were better off as slaves because they didn’t know how to handle their lives. He said that he would do work as long as no one touched him.
Then, he concluded that life was just a pale shadow.

After much questioning, I got him to admit that he was really interested in technology but people were making fun of him for being a nerd. He then reported being disturbed by his mom’s sexual behavior and multiple children with multiple dads, while his dad was nowhere to be found.

I see kids like this every day, they aren’t as complex, but similar. This kid strikes me as being very smart. His mom brought him in because he doesn’t want to do anything.
He’s depressed and has existential problems.

Meanwhile, the psychiatrist said that he has ADHD and put him on PILLS!
Thousands of kids in urban areas are on ADHD meds and are being told that they have a mental illness.

Perhaps all of these factors create low motivation.

Also, black people have only been really free since the mid-sixties. Hispanics just arrived from peasant countries and still are arriving.

Things may get better but massive neighborliness is needed. People need to encourage others and try to understand their point of view.

HELL(O) F(R)IEND(S)

Thanks Saint and Bessy about the good post. :smiley:

Thanks Bessy. However, the issue is not about racism at all. I am calling out all people to be responsible. In particular, I am calling out people that have long argued they do not have opportunities to advance.

I grew up in neighborhoods where I witnessed one black kid kill another black kid by shooting him in the head right in front of me. I know the dangers and the troubles with the ‘ghettos’; however, despite the fact that I have average intelligence I have become pretty damn successful. I have faced many of the barriers that Adlerian described:

I come from a broken home where my parents divorced when I was very young. After the divorce, my father was a dead beat dad that became virtually invisible. My mother worked two jobs to feed me and my brother. My stepfather beat my mother, my sibling, and me. My stepfather was an alcoholic and druggie. I had no parental guidance other than television and the streets. I faced gang violence and was asked to join gangs, I faced drug violence and was offered drugs, I faced racist violence and was pigeon holed. I feared the police more than I feared the local drug dealer across the street. My family had less money than the others in the neighborhood, I never had new Nike shoes (PayLess for me) and I never had a bike until I worked the summer picking fruit. I had the same teachers, the same books, the same opportunities as everyone else; yet I make up one of a very small percentage of my class of high school graduates that went to college. I am NOT any smarter than any of them… There is no room for excuses. I call out these groups because they are the ones making excuses for their own failures.

Very poignant questions! These are the type of questions that some will often respond with accusations of racism… tsk, tsk, tsk.

The fact is that lazy ne’er do wells will use any excuse not to take personal responsibility.

I bet that you are pretty smart!

I would like you to think of what your secret is. There must be some form of hope or insane confidence that you have.

I would like to know, because if I do then I can secretly introduce the idea to the kids.

Don’t be shy! I don’t care if you secretly think that you are spiderman. Let me have it!

Why do you think I clarified myself first. Not only are these people victims, but they would be the first to skewer my ass on a racist shish-ka-bob. (I dare you to say THAT three times at record speed.)

And, thirst, you are bright… very bright. Nothing “average” about your posts.

HELL(O) F(R)IEND(S)

No, not true. Black people didn’t have much to unite them in the Martin Luther King Jr. days either (in fact, it probably wasn’t allowed) and Black people still banded together.

Your description of schools in Philadelphia sounds a lot like my my Junior High School… High School was much worse though. We had someone murdered ON CAMPUS at least four times a year. Never heard a damn thing on the news about that… However, the teachers were very good and highly qualified. The children were very hostile to them though…

Break the cycle. I did, and I am not special or any more intelligent.

The fear of failure is an excuse to fail without trying… you know this right?

Recent freedom or arrival is no excuse. Persians, Russians, Jews all arrive and become successful enough to send their kids to college and ensure a better life. First generation of children become lawyers, doctors, Olympians, et al.

All recently arrived immigrants face similar challenges but have opportunities. The first generation have even better opportunities. Once you are past the first generation, you have little to no excuse.

I agree. Breaking the cycle is a choice. which they decide to make - or not. It is true with education, child abuse, or something as mundane as cleaning your house, or even nutrition. Just because your parents fed you crap doesn’t mean you have to feed your kids crap. I was fed plenty of crap, and never once made my kids feel like scum. It is a CHOICE.

Thirst. you said that you aren’t that smart. However, a person that is not that smart would not be able to make that evaluation, so I must conclude that you are smart! Ha,ha!

Anyway:
I still think that there has to be some hopeful element.

I read a 40 year long study from England that followed kids that were projected to become antisocial. Many of the kids that didn’t turn out this way reported that had someone, it could be a hero or even a neighbor, that made them think twice about being criminal. It’s like, “well Mr. Jonhson was nice to me so that means that the world—can be a good place sometimes.”

How about that boy that I wrote about? I don’t think that he is choosing to think those crazy ideas. I think that he just got roped into them. He’s a black kid that is ----for -----slavery! I thought I was loosing my mind when I heard that.

There was a developmental psychologist from Russian named Vygotsky that had some ideas that I like. He thought, and I believe him, that we all need to be raised by people that are move advanced than us during childhood, in order for us to advance. This is pretty obvious if you think about it. We learn English from adults that speak English.

Anyway, I have noticed that a lot of people (race does not matter) seem to think that kids just kind of raise themselves. This is not true. Kids need role models and I think really enjoy having them around. The PC crowd do not seem to like the idea of authority figures but I think that children need them in order to have a model upon which to base self control. An understanding yet directive person is worth their weight in gold.

The tough part is that these ideas need to be promoted.

The leader thing.

I never mentioned, but I am white and one-third American Indian. I have blue eyes and light brown hair that I wear long. So, I look more white than anything else, but I am not typical looking because I am a hybrid. Anyway, I have always gotten a good reception in the black community. I think that it is because I am funny and honest. The white thing seems to help because I stand out.

One time, years ago when I moved to Philly, and was working at the prison, this inmate named Earl, a very dark man with super intense eyes, that burned down the man’s house, thus killing his entire family, after said man had stuck a gun in his mouth and made him beg, said that he wanted to “holler” at me later on. Where I grew up that meant that someone was going to get really mad at me and shout. So, I thought that he was going to get smart and thought that he could just make me take it because I was some white dude. Well, I had to decide to either give it to him first, or hear his complaint and take it like a man. I decided to just take it and try to make friends.

As it turns out, to “holler” just means to talk to!!! Earl said to me that he had never met anyone that was “always the same.” Again I screwed up, because I thought that he was calling me boring! I don’t like to be that! Anyway, Earl meant that I was never two-faced and wanted to say that he liked me. Later, his pal Preston (who was also an amazing guy) told me that Earl had been a racist until he met me! I felt like Superman!

Later the head of the FOI apologized to me and admitted that his mom was really a white person and asked me not to tell, which I didn’t.

Another guy, that I learned was traumatized do to his twin drowning, tried to undermine me during a lecture that I was giving about the brain by reporting that white people have a calcified third eye, unlike black people, so they can’t see into the spirit realm opened up by weed smoking. I turned it all into a big joke. Later, he told me all about his problems and became fascinated with cognitive therapy and philosophy to the point where I used my own money to buy him all kinds of books. When he got out of prison he would call me and tell how he was doing, like I was his friend, which I was. He was the only client in sixteen years that actually read and memorized the material that I handed out.

There was another guy in the same class that reported that black people need weed in order to think. I humorously suggested that he go and work for the KKK with that kind of idea, as they would love it! This guy looked like a black deity. He was handsome and had perfect gigantic muscles. He was too healthy of a specimen to go to waste. So, I secretly got a team of older inmates to make friends with him and get him involved in education. When parole time came I personally, which was against policy, went and spoke to the parole board and asked for them to release him. They did and I thought that he was going to shit his pants. He told me that he knew what and why I did what I did and reported that previously he was afraid of white people and never thought that he would ever be accepted by them, and that is why he was afraid to get more educated.

I have lots of stories like this, but the theme was always that of a person that although they were an adult, was operating out of both misconceptions and fear. It just took one person being kind (really manipulatively benevolent) to change that.

So, I conclude that everyone should try to be a leader to some extent to people that have been a little scared off by the world. One never knows who the next big leader is going to be. I would certainly hope that it does not turn out to be a person that—wants—to be a leader.

I also hope that the next black leader is not black at all. I hope that it is a Chinese surfer or something. The best thing that we could do is start hanging out with other types of people.

Ponder this:

A woman gets into an elevator… she hesitates because, [size=75]holy shit [/size],there are six homeboys and, let’s face it, she’s a nervous wreck because she knows she is in big trouble. They’ve got the look, the hard to understand mother-fucker-talk and she is, most likely, in peril of a hideous rape.

Same woman gets on an elevator with five black men who are dressed in fine suits and starched white shirts. They carry briefcases… they speak in an articulate manner, they look driven to succeed and are purposeful. Is she worried? No way. As a matter of fact she may decide to go out with the cute one with the dimples.

Same woman gets on an elevator with a bunch of white-trash motorcycle dudes with muscle shirts, little black leather hats saying “Fuck Me Mother Fucker Motorcycle Club,” and (sorry Dr. S) hideous satanic tatoos. Is the woman scared? You tell me.

AM I MAKING MY POINT PEOPLE? Don’t give me your racist bullshit. It has NOTHING to do with race. It has to do with DIRECTION… or possibly that clothes make the man, but that would make me shallow… or better yet,

[size=150]HONEST.[/size]

I agree with that in general.

However, the case is that many of the homeboys tough it up because they are scared shitless. They are also scared of the perfectionism that the white lady represents.

Many young black men that I meet believe that they will only live to see 25. I hear that number all of the time it’s weird. Anyway, it’s not race but rather the ideas that one holds about one’s past, present, and future that count.

It happened to me and I talked my way out of it on that elevator. Surprised? Actually, I took four homeboys out to McDonalds. I was 21. They were just as nice as the brothers in the fancy suits… it is about perception. And whether you like it or not perception rules the earth.

HELL(O) F(R)IEND(S)

My secret is that I became a Republican. :sunglasses:

I am intelligent; but no more intelligent that the average person I grew up with. In fact, I was a high school dropout at one point in my life. The truth is that I didn’t want to live the way I did (paycheck to paycheck in a ghetto). I don’t judge people by my standard of success; however, there are nearly no excuses for 2nd & 3rd generation immigrants to not achieve some level of success. Especially when you compare them to the success achieved by 1st generation immigrants like the Persians…

I wanted more from life–television taught me that. :wink:

You will write a book and make even more money!

ANTI-DEFAMATION LEAGUE!!

ASSEMBLE!!

in all seriousness though…ethnic slurs aside, i must sadly say that i agree with you and you are 100% right on the topic, which is a sad thought indeed

The short answer is that when it’s easier to blame someone else (particularly a group you don’t know well, like middle class white males) than blame yourself then people will tend to do that.

It doesn’t necessarily have anything to do with race or gender, it’s just that the two most recent ‘rights’ movements have been (excluding the gay rights movement which I don’t really believe exists) the race rights (Martin Luther King et al) and feminism (The suffragettes, Simone de Beaver et al) and so they are, rhetorically, two points of leverage, two widely-accepted excuses. It has more to do with the contemporary habit of passing the buck (funny how we like (individually) to claim success but pass the buck for failure) whenever blame is being portioned out…

Think about it as a simplified 1 choice of 2

  1. You take the risk, break out of your surroundings, try to do something clever or special or just work your ass off - you still might not ‘make it’
  2. You lounge around blaming everyone but yourself for your surroundings (of course thereby perpetuating the ghettos) and becoming aggressive whenever anyone challenges your view of life. You’ll definitely never achieve anything of note, but at least you won’t have risked anything.

There is immense psychological security in knowing you are going to fail. There’s no security in trying to succeed.

That’s my brief take on it.

Here in the western US, there is a large population of hispanic people. With that, comes a heavy demand for bilingual everything. There is also quite a lot of talk about 'english as an official language, by various groups who want english as law at state or federal levels. There is all the usual outcry that such a law would be “discriminatory” and is “racist”; all the crapola buzz words of victim talk so easily bandied about.

Any time I’m confronted by the bi-lingual issue, I always ask, why haven’t the Chinese speaking people demanded that we speak mandarin chinese? For some reason, they assume that they need to speak english if they want to live here. Their children occupy a high percentage of the grad school slots in every major university. So how did they manage that? By whining about no one speaking chinese? Or maybe they devoted themselves to learning enough english to live here and prosper…

I encounter “victims” of every color and circumstance daily - and some of them truly are victims of some catostophic happening, but most are victims by choice. As Siatd pointed out, being a victim is much easier than risking success.

JT

Playing the victim is the popular strategy for all those not wanting to take responsibility for their own selves and their own circumstances and for all those unable to come to terms with their own being.

It is a way of excusing ones self away from the repercussions of their choices and actions and a way of fleeing the horrors and solitudes of freedom, to whatever degree this is possible.