A pity, isn’t it, when that happens?
Interupting a moment like that feeds a doubt that was almost washed away by that very moment.
Okay, this poem needs to be rewritten. I posted right away instead of waiting a day or so to look at it with fresh eyes. The first stanza makes it too obvious the narrator is enjoying the moment. Worse, it makes the amateur mistake of telling, rather than showing. And it’s as though it’s trying to be a poem by merely using poetic words (sighing, divine, delicate). Aargh. If I take out the adjectives, the moment remains a moment, but we don’t know how much it’s being appreciated (indeed if at all) until we get to the end of the poem. That gives it more import, I am thinking.
Here:
Better I think. Probably not by much, but I feel better about it.
Further revisions as they come to me…
Thanks for sharing your thought process in the rewrite, Rainey, nice insights. I actually liked it with the adjectives, probably because I really, really liked “a delicate sensation of falling” - just kind of made the moment seem fragile to me.
This, however, is my favorite part, so I’m glad it survived the cut:
Thanks, Anita.
Yeah, I liked “a delicate sensation of falling” too. I’ll keep it handy for you and use it in a future poem. 
Hey Rainey, I really enjoyed that. And I sort of feel that the poem works either way, leaving the descriptive in or not. The “sighing” is good…because this is what you heard, you felt at the moment, a “sighing”. It could have easily been another word, too, the wind can “speak” differently in the leaves to different people. It seemed to go with what you described afterwards…when we feel peaceful and in the moment…what’s left but to sigh.
And the moon is “divinely” radiant. When I look at it, I can just howl, myself. And I do feel the divine…
But even after that interruption, couldn’t we still feel that sensation lingering…It doesn’t just go away. I am tingling just after reading it. Beautiful, rainey
I would cut the dash at the end of stanza 1 letting the 1st sentence fall into the 2nd. And thank you for cutting divine, it really bothered me. Great closing.
Thanks very much, Arcturas. Okay, I’m rethinking the descriptive words. (Even “divine”, TUM. 
Either way, the dash goes.) I’ll put this one away and come back to it a few weeks from now and see how I feel.
Hey, TUM, after having gotten rid of the “divine”, if you had to put another word there in its stead, describing radiance", what word would you like it to be?
Radiance is such a beautiful word that stands alone, at the same time, since it is such a beautiful word, and you can “feel” and “sense” that radiance, it’s a permeating word, maybe it needs another word to pay it homage. Maybe not the word “divine” as that may be, for many people, understood, but still another word to show the fullness of it. And I think I am being too helpful here. Sorry. 
Dish and spoon. Too Nursery rhymey.
How about dumping the second stanza altogether and having something else break the spell…? Something artificial but less active. A dinner gong, a car alarm, the scent of her perfume.
As it is the delicacy of the first is overwhelmed by the crassness of the second - no balance.