Isn’t it more fun to be with different people?
Is treachery fun?
It’s more fun for a while…
for a while.
Then again… marriage can be fun for a while too.
why would it be more fun? communication with an existing partner to let them know what you want might yield better results than searching for someone else.
Personally, my relationship is complicated enough without multiplying the variables again, but hey, do whatever works.
Without monogamy the promiscuous wouldn’t feel rebellious, they’d just feel shallow…
PhilosophyGirl,
What are you? Are you a gimmick sent to us from Gimmick Island? Classic highlights include:
- I hate everybody!!!111
- Give me a reason to live
- The oversized Jesus filled signatures
And now you’re saying isn’t it more fun to be with different people?
WHAT THE ??? Please tell us this is all just an elaborate joke and you’re actually psyque in disguise!
Hi PG,
God… me and marriage - my favorite topic. I have been married to the same man for… forever - and I can tell you that most of it has been pretty wonderful (Benny, I told you this would be profound 
)
Good to have you back S 
- ben
“What are you? Are you a gimmick sent to us from Gimmick Island?”
I laughed at that sentence! It’s funny to see the site owner crying out in frustration, WHAT ARE YOU!
One of the things that is great about monogamy is the possibility of developing a deep partnership. Now fliting from partner to partner can be fun. Novelty often is exciting. There is mystery, drama and adventure. For a while, that is. But novelty soon wear off. The “magic” is gone.
When you move deeper into a relationship then it becomes more difficult. Both people get to see more of the Other revealed, and we ourselves are more exposed. That is the moment when dreamy idealism can quickly turn into cynicism. Everyone is more than meets the eye. They are more than they present themselves to be, and that something more is often unpleasent. There is an ugly side to us all.
That moment is also an opportunity to embrace the Other, even with all of their “faults” and to be embraced even with all of our “faults.” To remain in touch. It is an opportunity to heal old wounds.
Now just because that opportunty is there doesn’t mean that a lot of people take it. People can be standing right next to each other and still be out of touch with each other.
The key is that marriage isn’t about fun and life really isn’t about fun either. Oh you can have fun in your life, but that is the gravy, it is not the meat and potatoes.
the close-grain, deep reddish brown colour, and its resistance to termites.
I also liked this…
I instantly had a picture of gimmick island. . even though, to my knowledge it’s a fictional place
Monogamy is built on Love
Polygamy is built on Lust
Damn it!!.. No wonder, I’ve been having so much relationship trouble.
When asked the monogamy question, I’ve always replied: “Yes, absolutely, I love it”. Then get into trouble later on. 
Aren’t we all on our own little piece of Gimmick Island? (very good, Benny) Even if our “gimmicks” are honorable to us they feel quite ridiculous to another. Maybe your gimmick is protecting your race or being a dyslexic whoremonger addicted to Playstation II…
Moi? Suburban Goddess. It’s working for me, I think. Especially as I lay here in bed in my old flannel pj’s at 3:30 in the morning. By myself.
hmmm.
also, when I posted this:
I sounded like I was just being gratuitous Bessy, but I meant it. You will never have good sex unless you are deeply involved. Deeply. I speak from experience and (of course) from a woman’s point of view.
It’s nonsense to get married in your 20s, as it’s nonsense to swing around in your 60s. A man should follow his hormos, drives and instincts. Youth can’t appreciate the maritial essence, its existential simplicity restricts its appreciation chiefly within the physical domain. Let nature take its course. Easy on yourself. Just because you’ve read some romances and saturited with modern progressive media, doesn’t mean you’ve got what it takes to maintain a joyful marrage.
I say this with the greatest regard for both Xander and Uni, but honestly until you have gone the long haul it may be hard to understand. It is so easy to fall into platitudes at your stage. I did. Raising a family can digress to brother and sister. I still respect and love my brother, but do I sleep with him? Get my drift? I know, I can’t generalize, but you need to have tha 28 years behind you to really get it. If you are able to stay close after putting in that kind of time - it is truly remarkable. I am not talking love, respect or comfort zone. I am talking intimacy.
Believe this for it is very true.
What’s so great about monogamy?
Two points that haven’t been raised:
- It’s cheaper.
- No STDs.