tab,
Sorry for picking on your forced abstinence. I promise to never do it again… 
Well, I promise to try not to do it again… uhhh, well, I promise… oh hell, it’s just too much fun! 
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So mentioning all the delightful foods one can get here and pretty much around the world like good od fashioned BBQ ribs would be cruel. HEY! Can some be smuggled to you Tab? Cuz you should be able to eat what you want. Do they have food smugglers? Food simply has to be easier then smuggling people. People are smuggled in and out of countries all the time. Food must be easier. How about overnight Mail? Maybe you know someone that can do that for you. Just an idea. 
Dry ice! My folks shipped us some food from our favorite place in Az once. They packaged up the food tight in multiple bags to keep from being burned by the dry ice then they put it in a cooler , sealed the cooler with that black gasket seal that comes in a tube, then duct tape around that, then wrapped it up with a couple of layers of brown wrapping paper and shipped it off two day mail. It was great! Just an idea for you.
Kris,
Shipping to a foreign country is a little different than shipping inside the states. Besides, here in the U.S. we have drug dogs… In Turkey they have pork dogs! 
But I have a nice bacon and cheese sandwich now and then in honor of Tab’s abstinence, and put a tiny piece of bacon on top of a fence post for the birds. Sort of an offering at the pork shrine. And as I’m wiping the bacon grease off my face, I marvel at Tab’s heroism and sacrifice to live in a place where there isn’t any pork within a thousand miles. 
actually, tab could find the recipie for good bbq sauce online somewhere… drown lamb that has been slow roasting for 4 or 5 hours over mesquite in that sauce and he could make poor boys easy… heck, you could even stuff a pita with bbq lamb, that would be excellent… but this is the internet and the magic of the marketplace… I am sure tab could find someplace like pork-R-us.com (hopefully that isn’t a porn site, but it probably is) and order himself a slab-o-pork and have it overnighted by federal express… and I am sure he could buy a can or bottle of bacon bits… anyway, back to my fresh side (ask your butcher)…
-Imp
Ad,
Does that mean that looting and pillaging will come back in style, as well as pork products?
I have to tell ya, that is some s*** I would definitely look forward to.
MMmmmmmmm, roast pig over scorched earth policy … that’s tasty!!!
Hey! if someone wants to loot and pillage my yards, please do it. It would save me some headaches, the guys keep bringing in guy treasures which looks an awfull lot like junk to me but, guys seem to hold these things important. Ok you may have to dodge a shotgun round or two from the guys and about 6 large canine kids but, be brave and Loot!
Ham can be summed up in one word… tasty. And no matter where it comes from its still tasty.