When everyone seems to not dig you, is it you or is it them?

When most everyone in the world seems to not like you, is it them, or must it be you?

it’s them.

and if they keep it up just kick their asses.

:wink:

-Imp

Well, I don’t think that it must be the case that it is you. I would sooner think that people either did not know you, or did not understand you, before I concluded that you were ‘inherently unlikeable’. Or else I would wonder whether the impression that ‘everyone’ disliked you wasn’t in some part a figment of your imagination. Some people are sensitive in a way which makes them particularly susceptible to other people’s ‘unintentional insensitivity’, and the like. Unless you communicate with people, it is hard for you to really know what they think about you, and you should not presume to know this based just on your ‘intuition’, especially when you find that, more often than not, your intuition tells you that people don’t like you. If that is the impression you are getting, than rather than this meaning that you are ‘inherently unlikeable’, it might just mean that you are insecure, or have low self-esteem. Big difference.

Regards,

James

[13:24] Zigung asked: “What do you think if all the people in town like someone?”

“Not too good,” said Confucius.

“What if they all hate you?”

“Also not too good. It is better if the good people in town like you, and the evil ones hate you.”

As a general rule . . . yes, it’s you. Unless you are deformed or foreign in some way? Xenophobia is still pretty common (see PoR). What do you suppose it is that causes others to dislike you? Can you moderate your behaviour in any way to correct this failing without compromising your integrity? Are you a teenager – if so wait a few years.

Depends, if you’re hated for killing a lot of people then it’s your fault but if it’s just because of your opinions than it’s their fault.

Chances are it’s you.

That’s not to say it definitely is. Though the odds aren’t in your favor.

im sick of people telling me Im imagining it IM NOT!!!

You just haven’t met the right sorts of people yet. I’m not going to lie to you, I do find you irritating, but I certainly don’t dislike you. I don’t really know you, and at those odd moments when you manage to just let go and open up a bit you can occasionally be quite charming…

However, if you are determined to prove that everyone hates you I advise you to consider, carefully, what would be the best use of your life. I mean that if you genuinely felt that assassinating some particular person (probably a dictator) was the best use of your life (because it wouldn’t be worth much afterwards, you understand) then I’d probably do that if I were you. I can think of better things to do, setting up a food cooperative in Chad, for example…

If nobody likes you than I suggest you seek for shelter and comfort somewhere else rather than the company of people. The farther you stick your hand out, the harder you get burned, but it’s an experimented fact that in solitude nobody can get to you. Be of stone, and let the drops of rain drip from your smooth surface onto the ground. I suggest you take on philosophy or volunteer for missionary missions in Africa. Just beware, though, that when water infiltrates, low temperatures prove fatal: water freezes and cuts the stone crack open…

Neither. The answer is that your world is too small. Expand your world.

PhilosophyGirl:When most everyone in the world seems to not like you, is it them, or must it be you?"

K: Once you hit a certain age, you stop giving a flying fick
about what anyone thinks about you. It is a true waste of time
to worry about what anyone thinks about you. Run with
what bring you to the party. Which is to say, be yourself and
don’t ever give a fig about what anyone thinks about you.

Kropotkin

damn. i think i’ve had that problem before. i hope you don’t live in a shit town like edson.

well,no one is commited to you out there it seems.no one wants to commit to anything.like at this forum,it’s often a free-for-all.
that’s vexing… well i couldn’t handle thier shit so i went on home schooling! some crouds are just jerks. like Xanderman said though(expand your world.) everyone in a school or town(i’m talking majoritys here people) may have problems.form thier own little groups that there is no room for you in… but not all people suck. there are exeptions,i feel even in shit towns. after all,i lived in one before.

i’m about as popular as bob sagit,but in the end you’ll relize getting the world to love isn’t the important thing in life. like at this forum,i’d never presume i’m popular or espeacially loved… but i’m still here,because all the other forums sucked more.

about friends. 1 good friend is better than 10 idiots that later turn to crap and possibly betray you.so be cautious and selective.

and take all this advice including mine,with a grain of salt.i feel everyone would need thier own semi-unique solutions in life.personally speaking.

why am I irritating?

Posing a question like that after a thread like this is the first clue.

Ah, another very precise and intricate subject matter.

Answering it is beyond my abilities.
When all else fails, do what most do, blame everything on them.

i dont find PG irritating for posing alot of questions. i dont think her posting style can change…?

any way i’ll tell you what’s irritating:some asshole belittleing you with words. or worse ad hominem. all in accordance will my situation of coarse… i’m not implying anything to other posters here.

also i got an important clue about the other poster’s indignation:

-officail forum rules.

Philosophy Girl

Well if this is directed at me, then let me observe that your responses to my posts often strike me as being influenced by a kind of ‘tainted vision’ - you pick out one thing which I suggest might be part of the case (notice the double qualification); you then strip it of its ambivalence; and then you IGNORE COMPLETELY the rest of what I have written. So you tell me whether or not you are imagining things? Because if all you can see in my response is ‘you are imagining it’, then your vision is impaired. In other words, you are imagining it. So read it again;

“I would sooner think that people either did not know you, or did not understand you, before I concluded that you were ‘inherently unlikeable’. Or else I would wonder whether the impression that ‘everyone’ disliked you wasn’t in some part a figment of your imagination. Some people are sensitive in a way which makes them particularly susceptible to other people’s ‘unintentional insensitivity’, and the like.”

[you might wish to read the rest again as well…]


Is it then not plausible for me to suggest that there may be a systematic distortion in your interpretation of what other people say to you? Based on your interactions with me, this seems to be the case, as you proved above, and in previous instances.

Although I do not generally find you irritating on account of this, I am made to feel frustrated by my inability to communicate with you, which seems to me to be based, in part, on your habits for listening to, and interpretating, others - when communicating with them. These habits are best characterized as (1) ‘respond first, think later’; (2) an insufficient sense of your own fallibility; (3) a habit of seeing only what you think is already the case, over-emphasizing any evidence which suggests this, and under-emphasizing any evidence which does not.

I would be much obliged if, for once, you actually responded to what I am saying.

:slight_smile:

Regards,

James

honestly, i think people would like you when they first meet you…but then you’d start talking, and …you know?

p.s. :evilfun:

PG,

Mucius answered your question. You seem to want to spend your life sitting around wondering why you are depressed rather than do anything about it. If you don’t see the point in overcoming your depression, fine, don’t come here and complain to other people about it and just keep asking endless questions and never actually engaging in a conversation. Give something of yourself to someone else, stop expecting them to do all the running…