Why am I still single?

Social Forums Non-Philosophical Chat
1

I guess autumn is the time for self-reflection, so here goes.

It’s not as if I haven’t had offers, but all of them seem to be by obsessive, depressive losers, or otherwise abnormal. Are my standards too high? Perhaps I come across as aloof or snobbish. Or maybe too clever, or too outspoken in my views. I can’t help that, it’s just how I am.

Or maybe that’s all just an excuse, though I’m sure it’s how a lot of people see me, if they don’t know me very well. I’m not really that unapproachable, though far too many people seem to think that I am.

2

Perhaps you’re asexual?

3

Keep shooting for the stars.

You will eventually bag yourself a wealthy fat cat.

Notice she spoke of losers. Spoken like a true woman judging men by their power, affluence, or money within society.

And women wonder why we men treat them the way we do nowadays?

[LMFAO]

4

LaughingMan says hello by the way.

5

Not at all.

6

Perhaps you didn’t bother reading the next paragraph.

7

Are you a lesbian?

8

No.

9

Its easy, to meet people and get dates act slutty. To then hold on to relationships it has to be a kind of progression. Never give everything or really open up untill marrige.

10

Because you’re a privileged, stuck up snob?

11

I don’t wish to act slutty.

12

Perhaps…

13

If you’re sure you’re not a lesbian, consider this:

A lot of “inferior” (men of low character and/or intellect) may see you as a soft target, because of your disability, because you come across as naïve, and because you look youngish in your pictures, not just physically, but mentally, or at least the ones you display here. You come off as a girl, not a woman.

What are your standards and views, btw? From my experience of you, as eyesinthedark and Antithesis, although you have a few rightwing views, like your views on ethnicity/race (you want to preserve Britain’s heritage, right?), mainly, you come off as a radical leftwinger, with your new age this, and your matriarchy that.

So you see, half the male community is drawn to you because they perceive you as desperate and easy, and the other half is put off by your views and possibly your standards. Your standards may be a reflection of your views. Perhaps unbeknownst to yourself even, you may perceive masculinity as inferior to femininity, and even if this is not the case, you give off that impression. There’s something sort of butch about you that I find distasteful, which is why I asked you if you’re a lesbian. Maybe you do this on purpose, as compensation, you’re saying hey: just because I’m disabled, and young, don’t think you can pull one over on me, but if you do such excessively, it can be a turn off. It’s up to you, maybe you could work on being a little more yielding, softer and gentler.

Either you can alter yourself, or, perhaps you can find a suitable male at one of your gatherings, where feminists, and new agers, and vegans flock.

14

I don’t really know how to define my standards and views, as you say, I don’t follow any particular discourse and have some that might be considered right wing, and some radical left. I am my own person. If I had to sum them up I would say that I believe in fairness, which is hardly a revolutionary thing to believe in.

While I certainly don’t consider men inferior, I agree that I do have a tendency to overcompensate at times, which could easily come off as arrogance or aloofness.

15

What disability?

16

I’m blind.

17

Wow. How is it living like that?

Yeah. I wouldnt trust any stranger if I were you, ever see that movie Red Dragon? Why dont you just ask your friends/family to find you someone?

18

Well, that’s quite a big question, but since I have no experience of not being blind I’m not sure I can give you an easy answer, unless you want specific instances of things.

No, I can safely say that I never did “see” that movie (lol), but I know of it. And there’s no way I would entrust my love life to my family and friends.

19

Keep in mind, males have a tendency to be competitive and dominating (see testosterone), for various evolutionary reasons we may or may not get into here.

Now, don’t make the mistake of conflating domination with selfishness.

There is a domination that’s selfish and there’s a domination that’s serving.

Learn to distinguish between the two.

For example, parents lovingly dominate their children.

Does that mean you have to be a total pushover, in order to win their affections?

No.

However, you can work on being a little more yielding and flexible, which is the essence of femininity.

You don’t have to give them 100%, but consider giving them 60, or at least 51%.

When the right male sees you do this, he will fall for you, he will want to serve you, but at the same time, he’ll want to take charge, and lead the relationship.

You are feisty and spirited, you’ll be a challenge for most males to deal with.

Does that mean you have to change who you are?

Not necessarily, I, and I’m sure most males here would agree with me, like the fact that I can have serious debates and discussions with you about a wide range of subjects, and I like your openmindedness, but consider allowing yourself to be vulnerable when you naturally feel as such. It’s not necessarily a weakness to be yielding and flexible, soft and gentle, in fact, it can be a strength.

It all depends on what you want, if you want a long term, monogamous relationships, marriage, children, then perhaps you should leave your standards where they are, but if you want something a little more casual, and you want to work your way up to something more serious, lower them a little, but either way, you should learn to let your guard down a little, and express your dormant, latent femininity, which is what men find attractive, whilst at the same time, be on the look out for dangerous men, who might take advantage of your condition.

It’s a balancing act…it doesn’t have to be black/white.

Life is like that…a lot of fine tuning.

20

Maia, not that i doubt You, but if You are blind, how do You do internet? Have You gone to Braille Institute and had a program where audio transcriptions are made?

Obviously, if You do meet the right one, and i am sure You will, You must get to know the person by their spoken word. You will have no way to seize up their general physical characteristics, only via those descriptions which may be offered by others. You must be a woman of great gentility and profound understanding, in this scenario, because You probably have to filter everything through ;a special internal lens of Your own making.

As far as love is concerned, would it be a good idea to find a suitable mate with a a man who is also blind? You feel things, and hear things, therefore appearances are not Your primary forte. You will meet a man of quality i am sure, only if You follow Your inner instincts, Your heart, before thinking about what exactly it is that draws You.