in times like now i feel that I am the only on this earth that has some empathy toward people. For example, today in my Technology class, I had a sub. So the class did some work and the teacher said that she almost didn’t make through school and that she does not appriciate when people insult her intelligence (obviously). This woman seemed very intelligent, but when we were dimissed over the annoucements and I saw everyone leaving so I thought we were allowed leave. But at the worst possible moment, the sub comes in and yells at the whole class. See, I had seriously thought that she had let us leave. So our punishment was that our normal tech teacher was going to her about this incident. I had felt sorry for her because people were questioning and insulting her intelligence because she was a sub. She had obviously not liked being made fun of about her itelligence, so she probably feels awful. So I ask, WHY DO PEOPLE (ESPECIALLY IMMATURE MIDDLE SCHOOL STUDENTS) NOT THINK WHAT THEIR WORDS AND ACTIONS CAN DO TO OTHERS?! I mean, there is a serious problem with one kid my school because he/she keeps PUTTING EXCREMENTS (crap) ON THE FLOOR!!! NOW I THINK THAT PROVES THAT THIS PERSON HAS A SERIOUS MENTAL PROBLEM!!! DON’T THEY THINK WHAT THAT CAN DO TO THE PRINCIPAL OR THE RESPECT OF THE SCHOOL DISTRICT!!! Jeez! I seriously think that (as I said before in another post of mine) that some people (nobody on this forum) are full-on ingrates!! Some of these people live to make people feel like crap! I ask to everyone, why is the number of empathetic in this world decreasing?
Well, Thoughtprovoker…
I don’t think the number of nice, empathetic people on the planet is decreasing, but I can certainly understand how daily exposure to a population of teen-aged middle schoolers can lead one to think so. 
-John
hmmm Im 41 and I think shes onto something…
I mean my teenage son aspires to be a “pimp”, he and his friends think this is cool. He fully understands what a pimp is at 18, but they seem to think it would be “way cool to have all those women” as one of them put it…I think he meant have as in own, and that is how the slang now sounds to me too. I hear all this about “my ho`s or bitchs” when they speak of thier female friends, and these girls are thier friends?
I think in North America we mostly teach our kids that if you meet the following requiremnts
- white, or maybe if you “know your place” black
- reasonably good looking
- rich, or at least not poor
- smart or of at least of average intelligence
- play with the right people
You can more or less do what you want and get away with it, especialy if the other kid does not “make the cut” so to speak. Those of us who don`t choose to “conform” because we see through the BS and express our sympathy/empathy for the “weaker” ones, or because we choose to be ourselves and dress or act different become instant targets.
It is not just kids, watch any talk show etc. North Americans pick on the weak. The weaker they are and more pathetic the more we like it…I mean come on the kid down the block with a crack ho for a mom NOW thats funny…how often do you hear stuff like that now a days?
Ummm and about the crap on the floor…I have had foster kids who did that same thing, more than one. It was not about disrespect on either occasion. These kids both had FAS, and maybe not real nice toilet training either when they where very little…who knows really what goes on in any ones elses head? I dont see how any one could not find sympathy for some one in a situation like that....maybe not empathy because how could you know what it feels like to be the person who has to do things like that? even though they probably dont really want to? I mean who where this poor girls role models?
I am so gratefull to have a healthy mind to abuse as I see fit…
Short and sweet,
Stereotype against yourself to yourself (Looking at yourself non-discrimitary. Meaning not big headed), before sterotyping others.
“God Made Everyone Different.” > Get The Point.
Naaaaa just give up the whole self idea completely, close the book on your story…along with good, evil, the quest for happieness and fear of loneliness…all of it. Just give it up, and find yourself. If you do that I am betting you will find you are a LOT more than you ever thought possible…
IT comes from a lack of reflection… In todays soceity young minds are growing up in a instant reward society. They don;t need to reflect on themselves in regard to the community. They don;t have to do farm work to “survive” or live with a large family because of lack of wealth… they watch telvision that gives them all the unbalanced perspectives of life - meanwhile the whole time they are not REFLECTING.
Just doing… mindlessly… Why? Because they are addicted to consumption… And it is the generation that came before that are gving them the DRUG (sugar,video games, Sex channels, obtrusive advetising) and the kids having lack of filters to see the “product” as a corruption of self - eat and drink until they feel lost… Fat and bloated… But starving for something real…
They lack reflection… That’s real.
first of all golden arm, I KNOW GOD MADE EVERYONE DIFFERENT. Listen I’m saying that a lot of the teenagers in society should learn to think about what consequences their actions will have. Personally, i have trained myself to analyze situations and to choose the option that will be of the best possible outcome. but instead they must be cruel and choose to pick on weaker, more sensitive kids (possibly intelligent) because they are insecure and have nothing better to do.
What you are basically saying in reaction to my statement made. Is you can manipulate/peer pressure/bully people. Until you believe it is unsensitive, not asking that particular person if they feel ok, thats stereotyping. When you think you know what someone else is thinking, even if you label them as "emotionally tough,’ so you just throw insults as result from that.
Good points…
I think that what is missing is experience. I mean hands on experience with emotions, how they work and relate to the world around us, and our own actions and feelings about our selves.
As you say there are very few good teachers, the media is a joke mostly.
In my opinion it bombards our youth (all of us actually) with lies designed with the sole purpose of selling them some thing. They are treated as sheep with money to spend, and we sell em anything they will swallow.
Dont think so? How about this lie I see in the media all the time...."Happieness comes from outside yourself". How many of us here still believe this, or at least live as though we do? If you do happen to believe this I can disprove it for you quite quickly by the way. I am sure you can think of many examples of people who by all accounts "should" be miserable, but arent, and in fact seem down right happy.
This one small misunderstanding creates great suffering amongst those who view themselves as haveing less, and dont know that "needing" and "wanting" are the not the same things. How can they ever be happy if they dont have at least the basic things all thier friends and niebhours have?
They can !!
But no one tells them how, we just tempt them more and more and rub thier faces in thier poverty…until they either steal, or lash out in fruseration or cover up thier misery with drugs, or do both at once. Then we blame them, and say it “kids” today or its just those damned stupid " insert favorite minority here".
This is what happens to those of us who feel “evil”, or “less than” about ourselves because we either cant or wont fit into what media/society tells us we should be. Those of us who fall into that catagorey are bombarded by the simple mesage that we are “bad” and hence live in perpetual unhappieness.
Its a LIE…YOU are not BAD, fight back, learn to be YOURSELF, some of us do make it out.
Its a feast for FOOLS, dont bother to pay the cover charge, the food is all plastic any way, and it WONT fill you up for long.
Why does`t any one let our kids see this? Our society bombards us with easy solutions and quick fixes for all of our uncomfortable emotions…and we buy them all. Then after awhile, when they stop working we by more, of course we believe they are new and improved, better ones.
Who taught us that we should avoid all these emotions? That they where bad? Who told us how we “should” feel?
The emotions are there for a reason people, stop avoiding them and…LISTEN… to them, take time to learn about them, and you WILL be happier.
“you should feel this way too” or "you shouldnt feel like that" are the most evil phrases in the english language.....and I dont even believe in evil.
P.S. if by the way you are curious about this way of being happier all the time…FOR FREE…go down to your local library and read the book “Wokini” by Billy Mills and Nicholas Sparks. it takes a bit of work, but it is free and I think almost any one could do it.
It really is no big secret this “how to be mostly happy most of the time” lots of people have figured it out over the years, some societies actually teach it to thier kids when they are still quite young.
Oh there is another common lie I see a lot of our cultures role models tell…
Its the one that says you can be happy ALL the time…or that you should be…
see the topic understanding feelings, it explains a lot
I AM NOT SAYING FOR PEOPLE TO FEEL A CERTAIN WAY!!! I’M SAYING THAT THEY SHOULD THINK MORE ABOUT HOW PEOPLE ARE GOING TO FEEL WHEN THEY SAY SOMETHING THAT IS POSSIBLY HURTFUL!!! 
i get so pissed when people accuse me of being evil and or manipulative (golden_arm)… listen im not saying that people have to be happy all of the time… but im elaborating on the famous phrase “If don’t something nice to say, then don’t say it.” I know someones eventually going to say or actually SAID “But you can’t know what people are going to be offened by.” well that’s partially true but a lot of what the teens (at least in my school) make fun of how you look and how dorky you are. that to me is somewhat segregation (i don’t if thats the same for anyone else)… hear me out I AM NOT TRYING TO MANIPULATING PEOPLE OR BULLY… i am one that has been bullied for close to about 4 years straight FOR ABOUT EVERY DAY. I have sometimes come home crying my eyes and feeling completely worthless… so never accuse me of being the bully!!!
This is part of a post I wrote to try to help someone see some thing I felt they might be missing…It may at first sound sarcastic, it is simply meant to help and hopefully be a little humerous as well…as was my other reply.
I fit does offend you sorry, plz…consider trying to lighten up a bit, life is to precious to waste it in resentment.
The “web” with its relative anonimity promotes free expression of ideas, and brings the whole world together as never before. Foe example: if we all happen to think our leaders **** for instance, we can get together and talk about it behind thier backs in relative saftey here…
Also there is the following point…
If an ignorant/offensive individual is never allowed to express his ignorant/offensive opinion how will he ever learn how ignorant/offensive he is being?
I also fully realise that I myself quite often when confronted with a particularily ignorant or offensive individual forget to think before I act.
In my defence it is only partialy my fault, my creator made me with this fairly rare personalitiy disorder. (INFP) I Love the world and every thing in it too much.
When I see some poor ignorant/offensive person I feel such pity for them I can not help but want to “enlighten” them of thier burdens. You see I know what it feels like to be one of them…all those resentments about things not being the way they should be, the bitternes, such pain… it really does hurt me to see it now.
Often in my empathy for the poor individual, I will push as many of his “buttons” as possible in an effort to get him to see where his ignorance and offensiveness is the cause of his resentment, and pain, thus helping him to grow out of it as quickly as possible.
Because I love every one so much, and there are so many ignorant and offensive individuals who desperatly need my help, I don`t always have a lot of time to be as gentle with them as I perhaps should be. So if I say something to you while I am rushing about trying to “fix” a world, and it feels like I am being mean, please understand Love really is my only motivation.
Since I feel lucky to have moderators here who freely give thier time and energy to these boards, in an effort to keep them a nice place to be. I will try not to develope any resentments towards any of you when you feel compelled to delete some of my less gentle atttempts at expressing my Love for ignorant and offensive individuals.
I said I would try…If I fail in my attempt to live a competely resentment and desire free existence please forgive me in advance. I really am trying , it is actually my only real goal in life.
I personally feel that no matter what century we are in children and teenagers will always be rude and insensitive at some stage. It’s what happens. Most of those kiddies and adolesents will grow up to be mature adults and regret the nasty things they did or said. I’m sure alot of decent adults out there can look back on their younger years and admitt to being a bully to someone, or ridiculing someone most of as part of a group. And most of them would be feeling a bit embarrassed about it. But it is a part of life. Sadly enough.
I do wish people would be nicer to each other, it would be interesting to see the effects. But I suppose it is up to those of us that are aware of this to spread some empathy and respect to others cause it’s free and it’s infectious (in a good way, not a burning itchy way). Just remember your obviously the more mature one out of them, so don’t let it get to you.
I think behavior is getting subjectively worse, but honestly every generation after Adam and Eve thinks the new generation is more wicked than theirs. And each new generation thinks the last one is hopelessly out of touch.
Social structure is different in a school than in an adult environment, empathy is a product of social interaction, society is defined by adult “superiors”.