I think fear - Ego says “be right or die” What do you think?
We feel a need to be right because we are brainwashed into thinking we must be right or die.
This week my mother went to a stop smoking clinic and was warned that "you would not shoplift, because it’s not socially acceptable behaviour. (comparing shoplifting to smoking, somehow) I completely disagreed, but kept my gob shut for my mother’s sake.
We are programmed to “be right” at an early age. It’s a terrible shame.
I think we must be right, because to be proven wrong, means that we were living a lie. It’ll cause you to second guess everything based on that reasoning. The bigger the revelation, the bigger the fight to be right.
The ego only gets out of control of those that lack self-discipline.
Its ego but, it is survival need too. If we are right, we survive if we are wrong we die. If we use ego though, its just a matter of being alpha or dominant.
We all live a lie if we live with others, so that really is not a right or wrong.
Yes, it’s more Id than ego.
There is a huge amount of uncirtainty as to what will happen if we are wrong
I agree with this.
I don’t think right and wrong is necessarily linked to survival. It’s the set of beliefs that we live our lives according to… being proven wrong causes us to doubt and second-guess these things (as well as everything done previously, based on that belief). This is what I was referring to when I said “live a lie”. If I was a murderer and got proven that my actions were wrong, my entire live up until that point (involving me murdering) would have been a lie.
Most beliefs are intertwined, to shatter one usually brings many others into question. This is why it’s hard for people to admit being wrong. It generally involves a massive overhaul of ideals/beliefs/morals. Not many have the desire to go through that kind of thing (especially if they’re an “old dog”). This is why it usually takes a major event for people to change, something that forces them to re-evaluate their perspective.
Take me for example, my ex did me dirty for 9 years. I believed that everyone is good inside, they just need the right support to overcome their problems. Eventually she left me and it shattered that belief. I now believe that there’s bad people out there, who will use others, regardless of what you do to help them. I also changed my belief on being open and vulnerable to others. I also now believe that bad things should happen to bad people, to sit by idly only shows acceptance for their actions (if they refuse my kindness, they will get my wrath). Etc… If she didn’t walk out on me, I’d still be getting abused by her to this day. It took a major event for me to see the world differently. To my experiences, most others are the same way.
I can agree to apoint, yet what I said is living a lie when living with others is niether a right nor a wrong. We show others a side to us that protects what we are inside, that is a lie. We all do it to one exent or another. it is a form of survival. Its like animals puffing up their fur to make themselves look bigger. Humans kill and hurt other humans. We are a strange beast. but, not really Our territory is within. We defend this territory with lies and deceptions. make up, clothes objects words, attitudes. Using these things we are puffing our fur up to be something we are not in order to survive with others. It is not right nor wrong, it is nature.
You learned from your failed relation with her. Now you will be able to go and live a stronger better life. You survived and grew. That is to be commended. Guaranteed though, next relationship you will still puff your fur and so will the female. You just need to be able to see through the puff or accept it.
David Berkowitz, the Son of Sam, once said he did not want to hurt his victims, just kill them.
And The Green River Killer, Gary Ridgeway, said he was doing the cops a favour, because “it wasn’t like I was killing people.”
Ideas of right and wrong are relative. In my native North East of England, an advert aimed at scaring kids into fearing and respecting fire has been banned…because it scares kids.
Crazy huh?
I’m afraid of an uncertain future. Being right allows me control over my destiny.
Please don’t debate me on this. I am right, you are wrong, you feel the same way I do. So get over it and conform!
AH! CONFORM! CONFORM!!
The magic word.
What happened to individuality? Individual thought? Why should I conform to YOU?
Conformity is Deformity?
Being “right” allows a certain amount of control over everything else in life.
I think that thinking we are right gives us the ILLUSION of control - and since it depends entirely on point of view, it is definitly an illusion as regards to controlling others.
We all have to have that illusion though. That is what makes our life worth living. Men and women both illusion themselves to make their lives better in their minds.
Conform to individuality!
I never feel the need to be right / never have - what we do and say contributes to the whole, but no-one is ever right: as what we do/say is part of the ‘whole’…
If one was to admit to being wrong: nothing would happen - the world wouldn’t cave in, you would still be alive, everything would be as it was, but you would have something to ponder: that would be all… pondering = reflection = meditation = spiritual growth = insight = awareness = you, and your place in the whole scheme of things…
There is no right or wrong, so there is no contrasts: therefore I don’t get caught up in the mundane aspects of life / got better things to do