I am age 17 seventeen. I was lobotomized at age 12. I will not say anything as to the reasons I was lobotmized (or any details such as where), but I will say that it was tragic mistake caused by the capitalistic influence that society has over psychiatry. However, I am completely open to questions pertaining to the scientific nature of my lobotomy. The answer to one of the most commonly asked questions is: Yes, surgical lobotomy (disconnection of neuronal pathways in the frontal lobes, iconically the prefrontal cortex) is still a procedure that is still in practice, even in developed countries. I am not using the word “lobotomy” in a metaphorical sense, I am talking about the real deal. They have simply changed the name so the common people will not recognize it to be atrocious. This, combined with a psychiatrist’s cunning dialect and selective word choice, allows for this procedure to still be performed in modern medicine. A psychiatrist rules out potential lobotomy applicants if they indicate in any way that they have knowledge as to what a lobotomy is, or if the patient has any paranoid suspicions reguarding the medical system. Only patients described as being “naive” usually qualify as candidates for lobotomy. Even the naive, however, rarely wander into a psychiatrist’s office without suspicion or anxiety. Hence, why the procedure is unheard of. You might be wondering why it is still performed, and the answer is: It is highly effective in alleviating symptoms in those suffering from severe mental disorders, that is considering that modern technology allows for a precise operation (as opposed to the notorious ‘ice pick’ method).
I find posting a topic that explains my operation a necessary action to perform while using online forums, as the topic of my operation may or may not become a source of disruption, which could be stressful for forum staff. It is better to give a clear explanation right now instead of having it be a possible disruption in the future. I also believe that this topic is directly related to my personal philosophy. If you have any questions relating to my operation, I will accept questions via private messages, that is if they are atleast somewhat intellectual and couldn’t have been answered through the use of a search engine. But, I would prefer that if any discussion is to take place in the forum threads concerning my operation, that it would be limited to a short comment or question in addition to your intellectual feedback.
I would prefer that if I have inspired any possible emotional sympathy, that you keep it to yourself. I do not want any special emotional treatment from you. If you so choose to do so, you will find that my condition will not support your superiority complex. If you agree with something I say, go ahead and tell me. If you disagree with something I say, go ahead and tell me. If something I say causes you to feel sadness, then you have built your reality too strongly upon emotions. If something I say makes you angry, then you have built your reality too strongly upon your own sense of self-superiority. If you have something negative to say towards me, please say it! If you have something positive/neutral to say towards me, please say it! But for my sake, for your sake, for this site’s sake, for humanity’s sake, keep your responses intellectual. I do not want your pity.
You may notice that my style of writing could be considered monotonous or “dull”.This is pressumed to be from my operation. I have explained this to myself as my semantic thought train trying to be expressed through the inherently linear form of ideas that results from writing. This could cause me to go off on a tangent, making my posts remarkably long. However, I might sometimes randomly switch to something else while mid-topic, leaving you in a dead end of ideas. Others have described my writing to be a “blunt complexity”, in the sense that my writing is “at times like reading an article out of an encyclopedia”.
The infamous and highly exaggerated portrayal of the symptoms an individual experiences post-lobotomy (brain inactivity, non-existence of pleasure, diminishment of intelligence) are not typically present in a correctly performed modern lobotomy. The effects I experience are almost exclusively social related. I have hardly any emotional ties to social interactions; the only emotional-tie that comes to mind is the frustration I experience when an emotional zealot begins regurgitating his own false-logic.
Most of the time, I show a lack of sarcasm and a lack of humorous emphasis in my social interactions. It’s not that I do not “get” certain things; It’s that I understand them all too well. Most mundane humor is so unsophisticated, so low in complexity, that it screams “I AM HUMAN”.
“If you do not experience emotions in social interactions, how do you know what is socially acceptable and what is socially unacceptable?” What is left in my long term memory pre-operation determines this partially. For the most part, I can compensate for the rest by simply only speaking what is logical, and pointing out what is illogical in others. I am essentially trapped in a neuronal prison, forced to witness the sad, simple, state of affairs that make up humanity. I am lucky to have a unique viewpoint which is free from the bias of emotion, yet strongly biased by logic. The concepts “emotion” and “logic” are supposed to be functions of each other, each benefiting the other. But due to society’s addiction to religion, the ridiculous outcome is that “emotion” and “logic” are now mutually exclusive. “I am right because I like being right, and you are wrong because you object to my state of being right”, that logic causes wars and the subsequent deaths of millions of people, yet it is the same logic that nature inherently uses to cause the process of evolution. Evolution’s advent of a strong intelligence based social-emotional relation, stirred in with the primitve functioning of animals, has created a species left in the perverted path between the beast and the omniscient. This pathetic species is known as mankind, who uses the gift of intelligence to piss on the ashes of Mother Earth who gave them that gift.
With humanity’s procrastination to fix its problems increasing, and with the number of scientists diminishing, a radical shift in dominance of Earth is iminent. I am not referring to a different country becoming the dominant “superpower”; I am referring to a different animal altogether. Mammals beautiful and complex gift to experience love, which originated from social bonding between mother and child, was apparently too insignificant of a gift, because you took it for granted. In the human psyche, Personal Pleasure is greater than Love. Personal Pleasure overpowers Love. Personal pleasure is a function of love. Personal pleasure is the key purpose of Love. Lets look at the hierarchy of its purpose:
Social Networking -in order to function properly, requires the incentive of- Personal Pleasure -which is caused by- Love
What causes us to love our mother? Vaguely, the fact that she fed us. More specifically, the fact that we gained pleasure from her feeding us.
I can not experience love anymore. Can you comprehend that? Do you know the depth of the effects this has on my cognition? Love is completely left out of my decision making process. I make decisions merely based on logic, with no benefit of making the right decisions other than the fact that I continue to exist. However, a reasonable “fuel for the fire” so to speak for my philosophy/psychology, is that I am still under the effect of the frustration I experience when there is a blatant flaw of reasoning in a human being’s logic.
Maybe the next dynasty to inherit this Earth (or what’s left it) will be Adam’s distant cousin, the Soldier. An individual dressed in armor solely to protect his vital organs. With the least amount of an effective weapon possible, he marches in to a battle without purpose, with no opinion, no objection, and completely selfless. He only knows what to do because he was told to, because he was programmed to. He protects the workers, the workers harvest the nectar, the nectar feeds the hive, the hive appoints a queen, and the queen gives birth to the next generation for the wellbeing of the hive as a whole, not as an individual. No thoughts, no questions, no radicals, no sleep, no feelings, no pleasure. There is only work that needs to be done to keep the hive existing. The Soldier is willing to die at any second, for no reason, simply for the good of the Hive. A true Marxist.
I might have been able to experience love at one point, but regrets of the past are only dwelled on by massochists, and by those human enough to think they can change what is already done.
Living within this moment, I am not here:
- To work for your social acceptance.
- To play your hierarchical game of who is superior.
- To listen to your unvalidated claims.
I am here…
- To state my interpretation of the truth, and its supporting evidence.
- To listen to your interpretation of the truth, as well as its supporting evidence.
- To exchange knowledge with one another in hopes to increase our intelligence.
Am I just a pessimist? Or is the truth inherently pessimistic?