I still don’t see the big deal - for men or women. At least you get it when you want it the way you want it. Besides, no one knows better than you what and how it ought to go. The only caveat is you probably shouldn’t get involved with yourself at Quickie Mart. 
Or if you do, sell tickets first.
exactly… no tutoring involved. 
Bessy,
Still, there is nothing wrong with guided tours…
Ninety three percent of men masturbate, seven percent lie and say they don’t. Factoid.
Masturbation is representative of dissociation, you can’t be alone and enjoy yourself, or there is something obviously defective with your mind.
Welcome to America.
I would also like to say that one of the risks of equality is that it will always be easier for us to adopt each other’s barbarisms than our virtues. I would hate to think that being fair means becoming one another’s lowest common demoninator. Am I making sense?
“Whoo-Boy!!! - Did I ever have a wank the other day.!!!”
“Oh, er, how was it…?”
“Well - bit dry at first, then pretty sticky - Mopped up with a towel and stuck it in the wash - crinkles horribly if you leave it - like trying to dry your hair with corrugated iron.”
“Did you use porn or something…?”
“WHAT??? Are you saying I’m some saddo with no imagination…?”
“Well, yes, I suppose I am.”
“Harrumf - Well for your information I fantasized about Tyra Banks in a pair of dungarees fixing her pick-up truck.”
“Was she all oily…? And wriggling about on a sprocket-wrench…?”
“No, she was really pissed off cos her distributer was fucked and she couldn’t get any original parts for the model of truck she had - You know how it is these days with spares.”
“Yeah. Its a real bastard.”
“Anyway, I got the big pink acetelyn-torch out and welded it for her - She was ever so grateful.”
“Aha!!! BIG PINK acetelyn-torch eh…? Wink-wink, nudge-nudge…”
“Er - Yeah, my torch is the large model, and in pink… What are you implying…? That I’m some kind of sicko who likes to melt girls’ faces off…? You got issues buddy.”
“Wanker.”
“Sicko.”
“Masturbator.”
“Onanistist.”
“I’m not!!!”
“Are too.”
I can think of more polite things to talk about. Did I tell you about the time I got a stiffy on the bus…? Oh, I did. Hmm.
Again, you missed the point. I made it clear that I didn’t want to talk about it here or did you not read the whole thread, Tab. I was asking why is it socially acceptable (media etc) to mention boys and men and NEVER women except for whores and low-lifes. It was a funny post, Tab, but you missed the mark. Aim better next time - your cum shot fell short.
Again…? I only, er, posted the once, honest I did Miss.
I’ll have you know I hit it smack in the eye. I may be slower than I used to be… But my accuracy has improved enormously. I can put a hole in a tissue from 15 yards. I have a telespermic sight on my baby-cannon.
I think it’s funny how the media has polarized, especially in music - On the one hand we have Gangster Rappers idolising womens’ hindquarters to the point where you may as well cut off the upper torso and throw it away. And then you have the pussycat dolls alternatively inviting the unbuttoning of their already pretty skimpy pants, and in the next instant declaring “they don’t need no man to get off” or whatever (Am I sounding old…? Of course I am.)
What’s a poor teenager to do these days for a role-model…? - Whore or ballbreaker. Gangster or gayboy…? Tough choices. Where’s Val Doonican when you need him - that’s what I want to know - Where’s the (boring) middle ground which implores the “yoof-of-today” to be fairly respek-ful of one-another, and just settle for a bit of a snog after a nice dinner on the first date, rather than asshole-sex after a small aperatif of uncut smack, and a pimp-slap to the face.
Tch - Kids today etc.
Now excuse me good lady, I must tend to my ho’s, them bitches gettin’ restless.
Word.
Very amusing Tab…
LMMFAOROTFL … oh shit … LMAO …
Thanks Tab, that was worth a whole day of ILP readings, right there.
LMMFAO.
Tab really kills me too. LMAO. If I had made a joke about how much I like to touch myself and stretch naked all over the floor coming wildly til my eyes fell out this morning, you would all call me a whore - and Tab would most likely be the inspiring, self-righteous ringleader. Great fun, boys.
Point made.
Um, Bessy, dear lady, any chance you have streaming video, or at least a digital recorded???
Either way, it would be unlikely to hear any utterances from me besides the typical grunting and heavy breathing an instance such as that, incites.
Whore? Not a chance. Might call you sticky, but whore? Never. 
pauses to wait, with heavy bated breath, hand on mouse, okay, both mouses, but whatever
Mas,
Sorry, but I’m not sharing those videos with anybody!
What the bloody?
You selfish lout!!! Unhand those videos, (no seriously, get your sticky hands off them).
I demand you take them to FedEx immediately, relinquishing all rights, proper and incidental, with the utmost expedience!!!
Tabula,
Your mentioning of the Pussycat dolls unbuttoning stuff triggered a memory of my first encounter with Ms. Liquidangel on these very boards and I still trying to figure out why…
Mas,
I’d like to say, sorry (lie). The plain fact of the matter is that some are more special than others. 
The slo-mo is fantastic!
And no, you aren’t EVER going to get them. No way, not ever. Nanny nanny. 
Mas,
try hacking his computer.
Rewrite the encryptions on the blt drive.
hold on… do I not have a say here?