Why is my ex-bf doing this??

My ex texts me everyday and calls me every night. But he never wants to SEE me. I gathered the courage to go see him as a surprise and he was not too thrilled and insisted that I only stay a while. Toward the end of the night he warmed up a little but nothing amazing happened. When I left he sent me a million apologetic texts and the daily texts and phone calls have resumed. Can anyone tell me what is going onnnnn???

Obviously he is keeping you on a string. He knows you want him and it feeds his ego when you respond back to his text. He is keeping secrets from you and when he sees you he is forced to face himself, however by texting he is allowed to hide and be someone he is not.

As for you, shoulders back, chin up. Face yourself.

so he talks to me to feed his ego? but he doesnt want anything more? and i should not hope for anything more?

what is he hiding?

Philosophygirl, do you feel like you are worth more then some man that just wants to text you, yet becomes awkwardly uncomfortable in your presence ?.He should be the least of your worries, you should be more concerned with the standards you are setting for yourself.

Does he control the texting? Is it when the timing is right for him? Does he respond to you when you randomly text him?

Did your heart drop to the floor when you saw the expression on his face.

You are obviously in the courting period of life and courting should be full of butterflies.

What secret do you think he is hiding?
I think you know.

No, I dont know.

If you do not know, then how do you expect anyone else to know.

This is a question you should look at yourself, because no one else will have the answer.

Nor will it matter to anyone other than you.

I was in town for a week and he claims he has no time to see me in all that time. Thats bull crap, yes?

When a man wants to see a woman, he will.


I think it’s because he totally cares about you and wants to get back together, but is afraid of your reaction and ashamed of his past behaviors. You should probably be very aggressive w/ him in letting him know that you want to be back together w/ him too.

How much more aggressive can a girl get with her ex than to show up at his door one night in a short dress, looking fabulous, asking to come in and then begging to spend the night there ???---- It freaked him out by the way and although he ultimately agreed to let me spend the night on his couch, it was at first very begrudgingly.

Why don’t you just ask him if he wants to be alone? Maybe he just needs to be alone but prefers to socialize with you by text? Men need their ‘man cave’ downtime. Maybe you two have different energy levels and social needs? He doesn’t mind texting while you need lots of face to face time?

Your boyfriend just sounds like he needs to do the things that he likes to do and they take priority in his life over relationships, maybe you just need to understand the ratio of his social needs to his own ambitions.

Just put your mouth on it. Do you love him or not?

Woah woah, hold up.

Why is everyone assuming she wants to get back together with him? It may seem to be implied, but we ought to ask: Philosophy Girl, do you want to get back with him?
A more intrusive but relevant question, which you don’t have to answer, is: why did you break up and who did it?

As for the contact, is it necessarily confusing? Does he say different things to what he seems to want? Or does he just really value you as a friend?

After people break up, they don’t suddenly lose all their friendship - a relationship obviously puts people through a lot together, and very closely. Afterwards, other friends might not really match up in terms of friendship. It’s possible to find you need to hold on to the friendship after things have “ended” - if possible - because nothing can replace it… and yet still not want to get back together.

Jeeze PG, when are you gonna find someone normal…? Dump him, lose the phone number, next. #-o

And btw. don’t ever invest in the stock market. Ever. You’ll lose your shirt, and not in a good way either.

Yeah, you’re chasing the wrong guy. That’s why. Ignore him for a week and see what happens.

I like smears and supercultures answers best. you guys are right indeed.:slight_smile:

That’s because you haven’t heard MINE yet.

I wouldn’t give you bad advice. In the end, even if you get nothing out of it, all you lost was a moment of your time.

Smears has a flattering approach - providing you with the thought of yourself as brave and confronting the problem head-on.

And it’s not a bad approach that he’s suggesting if you can cope with failure now and again. Though the beauty of it is that this life-hungry approach makes you fail less (although it makes you fail harder if you do).

PG, I suppose your complete lack of heed to my opening questions shows you aren’t open to a rational analysis - which is fair, that kinda shit is long and boring. Good luck with whatever it is you want out of the situation.

head-on ftw