Sometimes when a person tells a joke, or a comment, which I do not understand, perhaps I am not nerd enough to understand, I just pretend to laugh just to be harmonize with the others.
Why is that when a teacher or friend, laughs, or smiles, particularly women, it makes me feel happy? But when you laugh at something harsh , and something wrong, it makes me worry?
The difference between the two is an issue of motivation.
Decoding another’s facial expression as happiness (and viewing a truly genuine, joyful laugh as a more powerful version of complete contentment) signals a lack of anxiety/caution/worry in the environment. As part of the grounp, you feel that there is nothing to worry about, all is good. There is no motivation to this kind of smile, just well being; a lack of “I want/need” thoughts. The effect being stronger from a woman is because women are usually more empathetic.
While you may unconsciously notice a male’s forced smile as a means to present a certain view of himself or, although he may have a smile of actual happiness, you see a shade of “strategic” satisfaction, whether because they told the joke and feel good for the positive feedback they received (rather than enjoying the delight of others) or because the joke or happiness relates to beliefs of another person/group’s inferiority, in which the smile is merely an expression of a momentary lack of one’s own psychological insecurity, rather than the calm of the entire group.
In the first case one has no motivation, the happiness comes from a kind of heart-felt connection; a silent communication sent from eye to eye.
In the second someone smiles to themself, because at that moment they feel ther looking glass self shows a picture of who they wish themself to be.
I believe this makes you worry because you can tell this person’s focus on their own psychological security may lead them to shoot down your thoughts, attack your beliefs, etc. You sense your feelings are of no concern to them, and may potentially serve as nothing more to them than something to manipulate in order to make themselves feel “big.”