Why women are harder to form relationships with

After meeting more males and females, i’ve come to the conclusion that women are harder to form a relationship with then men are.
If a girl grabbed a guy’s butt and they never knew each other, he would be much less offended compared to if a man did that to a woman stranger.
Men get less offended by sexual advances. They are more willing to do things sooner and more freely in relationships.
Even in mere friendships it seems that women are more fearful and insecure therefor they develop more trust problems in the relationship process.

I’m pretty sure of this although some may disagree with me.

This sounds to me more like a male fantasy. I am yet to see a woman in real life actually do this to a male stranger. This is typically a male behavior (driven by testosterone and lack of self-control). Women just don’t have a such a strong sexualized groping instinct. :confused:

Er… 8-[


:open_mouth: :laughing:

Oh Magsj.

But you’re a guy. Males have a strong history of grabbing female butts, as Pandora pointed out. I think having one’s butt grabbed as a woman can be highly annoying – as if the guy is saying “I can do whatever I want” – I think it appears as arrogance to women. It depends on the circumstances of course. If a woman likes a man she may not mind being grabbed by him at all. From a guy’s perspective, other guys probably are easier to have relationships with – not as complicated. Appropriate boundaries are more intuitive.

From a woman’s perspective, perhaps she finds other women much easier to get along with because they don’t constantly grab her butt or try to make sexual advances and turn everything into foreplay. Again, perhaps among others of one’s sex, appropriate boundaries are more intuitive. When I say “appropriate” I just mean boundaries which are comfortable for most people.


What is a woman who grabs butts driven by?

It’s because the men are feminized dan.

If they weren’t, they’d be using their masculine instincts to get the girls.

Oh com’on! Both women and men have sexual cravings they would love to distribute evenly.
It’s neither the man nor woman’s fault (forming a relationship) for it being harder.
Really though women and men both are crazy over sex and sexual wants that effect each-other…it’s a win lose/lose win situation on both sides…sometimes win win… :wink:

So since men are easier to form a relationship with, and offense at butt grabbing and sexual advances is, by your argument, a good way of judging that then if I grabbed another man’s butt he would get less offended than a woman would be?
I suspect if I grabbed a woman’s butt her reaction would range between a glare and a slap.
If I did it to a man I suspect the reaction would range between shouting and insults and a full fledged beat down.
So based on your premises really women should be easier to form relationships with.

Of course some might argue that unwanted sexual advances are generally abhorred and wanted sexual advances are generally approved for everyone, man or woman.
In the two scenarios above I could obviously end up grabbing someone who thinks I’m the most attractive person ever, in which case who knows where the relationship would end up.

I believe that question is best addressed to Magsj.

I would comment but the truth-police is about, so why bother?

I self-censor, given that someone will most definitely be insulted by my opinions…and this is prohibited by forum rules…unless the one being hurt is a social pariah…in which case nobody will notice.

All the same, I’d be interested in reading what you think on the (slightly ridiculous) subject.

Since when?

I’m with Magsj, women also have the urges, but women and men are socialized to act upon them in different ways. Women are on the one hand highly sexualized as commodities in the West, but in reality are taught not to initiate anything in one-to-one interactions. To let the man do it and be pursued. Not to act as freely upon female desires until he’s ‘hooked’. It’s a bit schizophrenic, but the pages of explanation it requires will only inspire Sattie to un-self-censor.

One of the most revealing quotes I’ve seen was from Paris Hilton, who once said something to the effect of “I feel sexy, but not sexual.” She relates to being the object, but not to being the subject.

In recent decades, the tables have turned slightly, and in a clumsy sort of way, since now men have to be careful about their actions in a way that was heretofore generally supported in their domain, at least in certain environments. And women, especially younger ones, are less reluctant to initiate the dance, since society doesn’t generally condemn them for that anymore. But it goes somewhere and they still get left to raise the babies much more often, and so there has to be consideration for how a society responds to that. Hopefully it’s a progressive rather than a repressive response, but the tides tend to shift on that.

Depends, women can have lower sex drives because of their hormones. Males are usually much more interested in initiating sexual courting because uuuuh, they want it a lot more than females.

There are elements of truth, but remember that culture dictates that the man must be the aggressor. We see in situations where the dominant cultures fail that the female can be aggressive. But under normal circumstances, why would they be? Humans are like water, they flow to the lowest point. Just as the lowest point involves moral excellence, so too does it involve not going after strange. But absent the work of grabbing some strange, what point of living?

Being male is a difficult path, but the ride is pretty sweet. Don’t fret it. Really, you don’t wanna be a bitter Nietzsche wannabe. Those aren’t sexy, I can tell ya that!

What about biology, Xunzian? Doesn’t that dictate a big part of our bahavior? You can’t understand male/female behavior by ignoring our evolutionary strategies of fitness. Culture doesn’t just dictate stuff out of the blue, its supervenient upon biology.

Explain the evolutionary strategy of male fitness? Why are males fit and for what purpose?

It seems to me like men are generally raised to be seekers, whereas women are raised to recognize themselves as something of a commodity (THE commodity for a man).

Men are most usually on the offense, and very assertive. Women quickly learn to take more of a defensive role because, frankly, they have wee-wees thrown at them all their lives. The air of dominance men are taught is totally illusory/delusive in the interest of female attention, so what we actually want is pretty transparent. Women, in response, take more an air of wit and cunning; always evaluating.

Aside from continual sexual advances, and other awkward situations, that make women uncomfortable and wary of men, I think they also find this common ground of intelligence and cunning in their personal relationships with other women. So, I kind of think women are pushed into this judgmental mind frame where they feel everything is worth evaluating and scrutinizing. So, in my opinion, they generally seem to always be over thinking. This in conjunction with the inherent trust issues that are born of these strained relationships with men, and even each other, creates a far more emotional and volatile type of person.

Men spend their whole lives running from emotion (themselves), while women escape to emotion (within themselves) because the distractions offered by the external world can never really be trusted.

[NOTE: This is only an opinion. No offense to any ladies at all. I’ve actually spent a great deal of time pondering these things and discussing them with women. Though, I will admit, I think my theory above is only a single piece to the puzzle.]

It’s simple. Women commodify sex and relationships. ( Hence the difficulties imposed by women.)

Hm. That’s a pretty broad generalization.