take that back you fool! why are you seeking to provoke me?!?!!?
Um, because he’s Future Man! It’s his job! 
You don’t know yet, but he’s you in 15 years.
Not trying, but succeeding. =D>
even being a vegetarian, i still love this…
how many vegetarians does it take to change a light bulb?
none, they can’t change anything
I’m a vegetarian too. Shouts!
Now that we're picking on minorities, I'll do some jokes about that most pesky minority - women:
How many women does it take to change a light bulb?
Just one to do it, and six of her friends to form a support group.
How many women does it take to change a light bulb?
Who cares - let 'em cook in the dark.
how many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?
one … but it has to want to change…
-Imp
how many feminists does it take to change a light bulb?
THAT’S NOT FUNNY!!!
WHY WAS THE TRACTOR MAGICAL?
Because it drove down the road and turned into a field.
WHEN DO YOU KNOW IT’S BED TIME IN NEVERLAND?
When the big hand touches the little hand.
~Hey, here’s some classic YO MAMMA jokes…~
Yo mama’s so ugly, they filmed “Gorilla’s in the mist” in her shower.
Yo mama’s so fat, when she swims in the ocean the whales sing “We are family!”
Yo mama’s so dumb, she told us to meet her at the corner of walk and don’t walk.
Yo mama’s so fat we’re in her right now.
Yo mama’s so fat, when she wears red children think she’s the kool aid man.
Sorry, I had to!!!
what is the hardest part about eating vegetables?
the wheelchairs…
-Imp
Haha…
Gotta remember that…
Michael Jackson and George Michael are on the deck of a cruise ship when it hits an iceburg and starts to sink. The crew start loading people into lifeboats calling out ‘Women and children first’. George Michael panics and start pushing people out of the way, shouting ‘Fuck the women and children’. Michael Jackson looks at his watch nervously and responds ‘do you think we’ve got enough time?’
leave it to imp to throw in a joke about old people sex.
but hey, that’s what this thread is for, i guess.
or it’s for dead baby jokes.
what’s funnier than a dead baby?
a dead baby in a clown costume!
how do you make a dead baby float?
root beer, vanilla ice cream, and a scoop of dead baby.
why did the baby drop his lollipop?
he was hit by a truck.
how do you get 20 dead babies into a bucket?
a blender.
how do you get them out?
tortilla chips.
how many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
as many as it takes to stack them up so you can reach the socket.
what’s the difference between a dead baby and a bagel?
you can put a bagel in the toaster. you have to put the dead baby in the oven.
how many dead babies does it take to make a bottle of baby oil?
depends how hard you squeeze them.
I’ve always been fond of this Unknown Comic classic series:
Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
A: Because it was dead!
Q: Why did the chicken fall out of the tree?
A: Because it was stapled to the monkey!
Q: Why did the monkey cross the road?
A: Because it was stapled to the chicken!
How many boring people does it take to change a light bulb?
Just One
How many men does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
One, men will screw anything.
How many Irish people does it take to change a lightbulb?
300, 1 to hold the bold and the other 299 to turn the room.
How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, if the lightbulb had really needed changing, market forces would have caused it to happen.
How many Freudian Scholars does it take to change a lightbulb?
Two, one to screw in the bulb and the other to hold the penis…ladder, i mean ladder!
Jon F
“hey did you hear about the giant with diarrhea?”
“no.”
“really? it’s all over town!”