I don’t believe I’ve ever written anything like this before. But my life is not one I’m happy with at the moment. My parents are upset that I have doubted God. That this deep philosophical thinking is not the real world, that this high and mighty I’m so smart is the devil. That I shouldn’t be listening to these atheists like Dawkins, Nietzsche, Russell, etc with all their thoughts in their Crazy mind. That if I am going to I better be right with God. My parents are afraid I’m going to disappoint them. My mother argues God is real because she’s been their when her mom died, God’s helped her raise a good family, she could feel God’s presence and she knows he’s real. I feel like a victim. I feel in a title of Sartre, however it may not pertain to this idea, that possibly there is “No Exit” it Christianity. Or at least no good exit anyway. I don’t even want to leave Christianity. But simple minded people don’t understand deep philosophy. It’s not as crazy as people think. It’s simple concepts but we find the roots at which they rest and test them into reality. I feel so many people are caught up in the idea that people are decieved with philosophy and thinking. I do not see so, at least for someone who doesn’t take things at face value like myself. Especially now in my life when I don’t want to accept something just because I believe in that particular area. It’s sad, it’s depressing.
Now I should think that we would all like to hope that God exist. I never want to steal anyone’s hope. But hope and blind faith is all the simple-minded have to hang on to. If you dig too deep your left to question. I believe that atheism is correct more than I do Christianity. But I wish Christianity was correct and not Atheism. I cannot simply wish however, that is not me.
If a God does exist. The only just and fair belief is that I would be punished for not believing because of selfish desires, or high and mighty intellect in some boastful manner as my parents think all educated confused people are. I wish it was not this way. But I do not believe I doubt God because of selfish desires. I doubt God because of evidence. I looked for more evidence to defend God because somebody has to. And as of now I’ve found that I have lost my own belief. I’m not sure where to turn. I don’t feel I’ll be back on this site for at least a while. I’m going to study hard and read all sorts of people. Mark down what I find. And hopefully sometime when I come back I’ll have come to a conclusion. A destination is something I look for, and even though someone like The Watcher disagrees, I believe in truth and that is the destination.
It’s a shame to see you go, but if your post was written in earnest, then best of luck to you.
I assure you that the crossover from Christianity to agnosticism is much more difficult for some than others. I assume it depends on how strongly one believed God gave them their strength. I assume it was always much easier for me because I’ve always found my strength came from within.
There reaches a point in some men’s lives when they realize that to be happy, they must live for themselves. I don’t mean that they should live for themselves in a selfish manner, for in some cases, living for ones’ self could be selflessly helping others. What I mean is that you can’t live to make somebody else (your mom, your dad, your brother/sister) happy: some eventually reach a point where their own happiness is more important than living a life to make another happy.
It’s always been my opinion that true understanding is shown when you can be loved by others for living for what makes you happy, although I realize that this isn’t the case for every child in relation to their parents. My parents always wanted me to live however I wanted to, and fully supported the decisions I made. I consider myself fortunate for that. Not everybody is that lucky.
Anyways, I wish you the best of luck on your search for truth. For me, the truth, no matter how disappointing in that moment, has always led to more beauty and happiness, a more complete and full worldview, a more elevated and glorious view of life, in the long run. I hope you can eventually say the same.
It is not what someone else says or thinks that is important, not even what another believe’s, Only what you in your own mind and reality believe and put forth as true to yourself.
when you find what fills that hole inside of you and you are happy and satisfied with everything around you, you will know that you have found the right Path for yourself and your metaphysical evolution.
If you are going to study, Remember also that a student does not turn away any piece of information but uses it all.
I realize you think Im crazy or wrong in some manner, Perhaps I am and it is you who are Correct. Go to your destination and upon reaching it, if you find that the hole is still there step off the path and see where intuition leads you…
It wont hurt you to try something differrent, when and if, all else fail’s.
Good luck, I’ve gone through such a period myself, and I know it can be hard. I ended up siding with Christianity when I was done, but with a much healthier respect for other religious viewpoints and a deeper understanding of why I chose Christianity. A religion without a basic understanding of its philosophy is just a cult, and there’s no reason to listen to anyone who does not truly understand what they believe when they tell you it’s not worth finding out. So again, I wish you luck and guidance.
Does god not exist when not one or not most on a mere forum ‘find that he dosnt?’ Would he exist more if all on this forum shouted “it is so!” ?
I feel the best answer would actually come from god through sincere prayer.
That’s the reason people want to be christain in the first place isnt it?Because of the founder and not what a handfull of people think?
I wish you and all success in finding the real truth out there. I belive the truth is one,not two not three. Four is right out.
I have happened to post here,thought it’s seldom i admit. Because of lack of time i may have missed building much of a relationship with any one poster here , the words are here because of intrinsic value, not beliveing me because i have a close relationship with anyone who reads this…
If i could encourage anyone on this forum in the right way, perhaps i should have participated more.
Higher learning=philosophy? philosophy=wisdom?
I dont know why anyone would say the bible or true christainity is at odds with knowledge,wisdom or intellegents.
As well:
What do you think of the passage mentioned in collossians 2:8? What kind of philosophy do you think he was talking about?
I wish you well, Caleb, and I understand the path you walk is a difficult one. On so many levels we’d perhaps be happier not questioning, just walking thru our waking dream blissfully unaware. But that way is not possible for everyone. You’ve begun something that you will have to finish for yourself. I don’t know where your quest will lead you, but I wish you the best of luck.
Perhaps you’ve changed a lot over the time you’ve been here. Or perhaps I misjudged you. In any event, for any offense I’ve given in the past I sincerely apologize. I feel now you’ve been sincere, so I hope you find the answers you need.
I hope to see you around again, here or at the other sites we frequent.
If you deny “God” in any way, in this case, then you also deny the dreams, beliefs and desires which exist within the supposed prospects that “God” holds.
*Love, meaning, eternal life.
The believers think these can only be gained through faith in God.
So now you see what it’s like to see humans snagged on a mental-emotional fish-hook.
Never forget, that these people are desporate, self-dooming fucks.
Literally impossible, and mindless, on the deeper levels, conscious in only so far as they have a reactive shell which keeps out problems and pulls in food, water, sex, etc.
They’re human, after all.
During the up-and-coming armageddon, they’ll think God will save them from the problems that they themselves caused. Humans love to displace strife, blame, responsability and mental-work.
No matter what you decide, you are taking an important step in your own individuation. As others have said, the way is not easy for a thinking individual in today’s world. I hope you continue your pursuit of truth whether God or Luck blesses you or not.
Wow Caleb! I couldn’t have been in a more similar boat a few years ago (My senior year at University). I am the son of a pastor. I love my family and parents. They had raised me to be a dedicated thinking Christian. (Perhaps I took the “thinking” part too seriously) They are good people and have raised me to strive to be a good person and a reasoning person.
As d0rkyd00d said, “I assure you that the crossover from Christianity to agnosticism is much more difficult for some than others.” It was an extremely difficult one for me. But I am finding great enjoyment in balancing what I say to my parents. It isn’t as if I am trying to “convert” them to what I now believe. But I am always pushing their thinking slightly with little comments and reason. I still go to church now and then because I find discussions with my family and Christians, who think like I used to, stimulating. What ended up happening was that I wanted to strengthen my faith so much with books, philosophy, and good reason, that somewhere along the way, it all evaporated! Just like trying to get to the core of an onion! (It sounds like this is happening to you) I have never said to them that my faith has “fallen away”, but they certainly know that I at least question “the faith”. I’m not a crusader to save them, but I do enjoy soaking up everyone’s perspectives and views. Perhaps I can change them a little, perhaps they can change me.
Overall, enjoy the ride. It my get really rough, but it’s worth it. If you are convicted that mankind has some serious shortfalls in thought concerning ideas of Christianity, Religion, and God, don’t feel guilty! Follow your heart and your mind. If God is up there (and he is reported to be a reasonable one) then he will understand your thoughts and decisions. So don’t be too hard on yourself.
Club, nihilism is a natural phase in the order of things. We all go through it whenever we leave a previous belief and set ourselves up for the groundwork of the next. Going around reading stuff of others isn’t going to make the pain go away, although it may alleviate it a little. In the end it becomes a test of character and strength of will. Will you be strong enough to let go of such a fantasy that is religion, and accept the truth of reality; that we are all ignorant of the nature of something or other? Will you be able to assure your parents that their “worries” and “fears” are based on their own selfish desires to not be embarrassed in a a predominantly religious society? Will you be strong enough… to walk on your own, without a crutch? Or will you realize that your weakness demands a return to that crutch?
I will hope to see you once again on this site, a much wiser man.
Alot of what the problem is, we look out side ourselves for answers when the answer is in us. The current forms of religion Islam and Christianity are not in there pure forms. They have been distorted for the purpose of serving the rulers. The foundation before man was given relgion was love,peace,truth,justice and equality. None of these exist in the current world. You can take that bak to Egypt. If there was equality there would have been no secrets or mysteries. This mysteries are given to the chosen but who chooses them? The choice is biased. If you don’t have money or didn’t you weren’t included. How can equality exist when we have rich and poor? that is a separation. We are divided by many things. Christians don’t like methodist, baptist don’t like lutheran, sunni muslims don’t like shi ite. It’s all poisoned. As for christianity they used that to keep slaves under control. How many know who king james was? What about Francis Bacon? They changed the bible but had the power to do so. The samething was done by the rich arabs that changed the Quran to suit their purpose. I have on my blog some of the mind games they use on us. When you all get a chance stop by and chek them out.
