I’m not your mom. But I am a mother. A grand… mother. 
So uber. lol Jk. (Not jk about being a grandma.)
Much relieved, I guess.
Don’t worry. I have no idea who you are. Unless otherwise indicated, all the seemingly historical references or resemblances to you in my posts and replies are purely coincidental and either the product of my imagination or used in a fictitious manner.
No , I am not at all worried, as a matter if fact I am intrigued, especially in view of the route I am trying to arrive at, that is: the demolishion of the non conventional ego ideal, and that does set my mind at ease at the lowest level of integration- that of the psycho sexual level.
Worries at level are unfounded as far as I am concerned.
It’s an ideal? And you want to demolish it? And something about sex? Good luck with that.
I am admittedly no spring chicken myself, and me too a grandpa. Ten years ago my great and wonderful son killed himself, last year the only daughter that was close got murdered by her no good drug running husbamd, and is facing minimum 20 years, and my ideal OS far from sexual reality, which has been eclipsed by efforts to disentangle them, so yes, it is a struggle, we are loosing our car and our house, and the only glimmer if hope stares me right in my face, that there is the germ of conscious reality-that i still can love along with my wife to another day, another year, to love and cherish what remains of our family.
And the daily challenges have never been as harsh, fully knowing we are but one of myriad families trying to hang on in this are of plague.
I cannot afford a therapy, not because I am not covered, but because I am beyond it in an overwhelming way.
I just can’t waur till the senior center opens, not to try any efforts at making friends, but to try to get a square meal on a. Regular basis.
That is my bio , currently and just letting out the reality in in short that I deal with day to day.
And really thanks fir your comments …
I’ve never bothered to make a New Years resolution.
Everytime I blew out the birthday candles, I made the wish for world peace.
Wow was I naive back then.
You have to change yourself first and then you have to know that everybody has a different peace.
My New Years resolution is the same as my every second resolution; become a better person and figure out how to give everyone their personal peace -
Which I eventually figured out requires each person be the god or goddess of their private infinite universe with reflected spirits that you know that you’re in.
Now. I just wait. And try. Both at the same time.
You are loved. I am so sorry. You carry such a mountain.
Thanks for Your kindness
I hear YOU and hope you can keep them .
Somebody should write Sisyphus Shrugged wherein she throws the rock into the ocean, but all technology tries to redirect… but only redirects into Yellowstone… which just happens to blow at the right moment to meet the rock equal, neutralizing force… after accounting… for… The Neutralizing Anomaly… as Rage Against the Machine is full decible… and she winks over her shoulder while walking away slow-mo twirling her apron strings…
haaaa I’d watch it.
Call it Sis
Why… YES… i AM … OVERwriting…
No way if I understand it correctly. straight on is my existential condition. All the roles I play are just more extremely varied but real.
I should not think so even if it’s so appearing.
Underwriting maybe.
No that’s not right, yes maybe a sister. Better than a son.
But what’s in a name? I am perfectly happy now and set for the duration, whatever that is and however long it lasts.
Who’s watching?
I don’t think who. Even if not appearing.
Or I try not to.
“Quit it now.” - Rage Against the Machine
Sis. Short for Sisyphus. Female version. Sometimes if ya want things done, ya gotta do it yourself, I guess.
too repeat