I think my computer has a virus.
Maybe it has covid?
OK, but where’s the ‘any’ key?
Me: “911, What’s your emergency?”
Caller: “I’d like to report a kidnapping”
Me: “OK. How old is the child?”
Caller: "He’s three. (sobbing… ) He wandered off into his bedroom and… "
Me: “Don’t worry. Just let him nap. He’ll be up and about and about in an hour or so. Bye”
Caller: 
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Me: “911 What’s your emergency?”
Caller: “My husband has crushing pains in his chest. I think he might be having a stroke”
Me: “Don’t worry, ma’am. Emergency services are on their way. Just remain calm and stay with him until they arrive.”
Caller: “How long will the ambulance be?”
Me: “About 5 metres.”
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I have people waiting for my spiritual advice…
and I’m unable to get their credit card details.
Me: “911. What’s your emergency?”
Caller: “My wife has just gone into labor and I don’t know what to do.”
Me: “Is this her first child?”
Caller: “No. This is her husband.”
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Me: “911. What’s your emergency?”
Asian man: “Wife in bed. She wery wery hot.”
Me: “Okay… good for you.”
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All’s good. It’s working now.
For your info, Carleas, in case you get the same error message down the track:
I wrote this message on Word and added a smilie. The system doesn’t like smilies from other programs and wouldn’t send.
Thanks for all your help. 
I couldn’t have done in without you. 
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Lol Chakra… I’m digging your humour, very much. ; )
Hehehe. You like ‘dad jokes’, too? They’re so corny and cringy they’re funny.
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They’re so corny and cringy as not to be funny.
My dad got to appreciate that if I found him funny I’d laugh, but if I didn’t… which was oftentimes, I at least appreciated the joke due to his effort in making it.
He made me his wing-woman when I was 17, if that helps with context. 
Yeah, dads and their jokes are great.
I have a couple of cute Asian girls who call me ‘daddy’ and like my jokes.
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We’ll need a context, of course…
Note to others: everyone here’s starting to sound like each other unless, of course, I’m wrong
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Yea, but I’m just messing though… ; )
The context being… are they your daughters or somebody else’s?
Two Asian girls that call you daddy, is a bit obtuse…
Interesting and good to know, thanks Chakra. I did not know that certain characters were forbidden.
Of course, the real solution is just stop using smilies.
Why? Sum Ting Wong?
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Noooooo!!! A post without smilies is like a woman with Botox - they’re both hard to read
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Not particularly… unless you want it to be?