I strongly disagree with your assessment. I haven’t had any, “Ins,” at any job at which I have ever worked with exception to the hotel in Kansas City, but even that was just me bullshitting with the guy a few times when I stayed at that hotel. Technically, my Father and I worked at the same location where he was a night manager and I worked day shift. However, where I started out there they hired all-comers and I eventually made it up to supervisor. He eventually became the general manager for that location and that prevented me, actually, from becoming day shift manager because he could not be my direct superior. So, having him there actually prevented me from advancing as much as I would have!
It’s not the only thing available, again, it’s just a matter of knowing where to look. For example, we have a number of natural gas drilling rigs coming in relatively close to here, and in order to get a job on one of those, you just have to have a High School Diploma or G.E.D., know your head from your asshole, generally speaking, and be willing to work around eighty hours a week. (Six days, and includes you getting paid one hour just for driving to work and back home)
Furthermore, the coal mines around here are constantly hiring, and all you need to do for that is take a two-week class for $400 to get your certification and actually be good at making it LOOK like you’re doing something. The only people that get fired from the coal mines get fired, not because they’re not doing anything, but because they’re not doing anything and don’t look like they’re doing anything!!! Basically, if you’re six hours into your shift and your face is clean, you’re fucked.
Don’t lie about anything falsifiable. In fact, come up with some service that you’re good at and say you’ve been doing it independently the entire time, one service. Tell them sometimes you make enough to live on just by doing that, and other times you have needed to supplement your income by taking a part-time or full-time job.
Yes, alter the resume, of course. I don’t really care about your identity, though. I’d only be doing it because you seem to be a genuine enough and entertaining guy on here that it would not be a waste of time to help you out to whatever extent that I can.
I’m not a big shot at anything. I manage a medium-sized name brand hotel just like thousands of people in this country do. My income is sufficient to provide for my needs and for me to own a house, but I’m almost certain I make less than you would think I do, especially given that I work 60-70 hours per week.
I’ll do my best to give you a few pointers, though.
1.) Streamline Your Application
-Basically, if you apply to a company with multiple locations in your vicinity, then you can apply on-line (and usually it’s for a specific location), but through the company’s website you can also submit your application at any other location without having to re-type it. Basically, five minutes and a few clicks of the mouse can take you from applying at one location to applying at ten.
2.) Double-Up Your Applications
-You never know whether a manager prefers to look at on-line applications, or whether the manager prefers physical applications. For example, you can only apply to this hotel physically as I don’t care to go through on-line applications, and therefore, have no system by which you can do that. One way to double-up applications is to apply at the same location both on-line and physically.
-Another way to double-up your applications, if you think it is a location that takes many applications, is to request two applications. What you will then do is fill one out and submit it on the spot, and then you will fill another out and submit it a few days later. Obviously, for a place that gets a ton of applicants, the manager is not even going to look at every single one, so having two in the stack simply improves your odds of having it looked at.
3.) When it Concerns How Much You Get Paid
-The best thing you can do with this is to call a location anonymously, or give a fake name, and inquire as to what people in a certain position that has been advertised start at. On your application, you can then request a LOWER starting salary. You will end up getting paid whatever the starting wage for the position is regardless, but if you request more money, then you may not be called because management may be concerned that you will be unhappy with what the job pays or will refuse. However, if you request a lower (not much lower) amount, then management will be under the impression that you will be very satisfied to find that you are actually going to be getting more money than that and start off with a good attitude with the company.
4.) Grammar
-Do not misspell words on your application or resume. Do not make grammatical errors of any kind. Do not use stereotypical words, “Hard-working, motivated, dedicated,” be specific about what you can bring to the company. I could give an example for everything, but obviously, every applicant is going to say that he/she is hard-working, so that doesn’t do shit for me. In jobs where attendance is important, specifically state that you have an open schedule, do not miss work, and are willing to be the go-to guy in case someone calls off.
-The spelling/grammar is most important. If you misspell something that anyone breathing should be able to spell, I’m putting your application in the bottom of the stack. I’ve had people that have misspelled the names of companies that were their alleged previous employers…I’m not ever going to call you if that happens.
5.) Request a Manager (Menial Jobs Only)
-After you have filled out your application, ask if you can speak to the manager. I would say that, maybe 1:5 times, your initiative will get you an interview. Another 1:5 times, the manager may not be able to talk to you, but your initiative will get you a scheduled interview. Always ask for an interview time if the manager is not able to talk, but do it casually, “Would there be a better time I could come and discuss this position with you?” I would say that 2:5 times it has no effect, and only 1:5 times does it actually annoy someone. Fuck them. If it annoys them, you don’t want to be that person’s subordinate anyway.
-I always interview people that ask for an interview when they apply. I don’t always hire them because they are often idiots, but it’s a break from the monotony.
6.) One Week Before Follow-Up
-If you apply, wait at least a week before you follow-up call. If someone were to call me today about the status of an application that person submitted yesterday, I’m probably never going to speak to them again, “Bottom of the stack.”
7.) An Assumption to Make
-Always assume you’re talking to the manager! Always dress well, even if you’re just filling out an application. Behave professionally at all times. I’ll have girls come in here in sweats, cut-off shorts, whatever, and fill out an application. Bottom of the stack it goes. Actually, screw bottom of the stack, I’m legally bound to hold applications for ninety days and I have a seperate folder titled, “People I Will Never Hire,” that’s where it goes. There are people that do not say, “Please,” and, “Thank you,” and otherwise are rude, condescending, and do not behave professionally. It’s a mid-size hotel, so I’m almost always working at the desk, simultaneously, when I’m here. 90% of my shift I’m the only employee in the building!
I trick people. My nametag just has the hotel’s logo and my name and does not say, “Manager,” partially for that reason. I want to see how people are going to act when they are NOT right in front of their potential manager, then I know what they intend to do when I am not around!
The population of this county is between 50,000-100,000. The population of the city in which I work is between 5,000-10,000. The population of the Census-Designated Place in which I live is between 0-2000. All told, if you put a dot on the map where I work and drew a circle that went 20 miles at its most extreme points, the population density would be around 300/square mile. That’s a little over half the density of Kenosha. However, it would seem that Kenosha has higher Median House Value, Lower Unemployment, and less individuals below the Federal Poverty Line than this general area, percentage-wise.
On a side note, I used to be a really stereotypical Socialist, straight Party-Lines, to the extent that we have them. I was incredibly forgiving, but then I have spent years looking at all of these people that just don’t want to work, and it’s ridiculous. In the summer, when I desperately need housekeepers, I’ll only get a handful of applicants, few of them worth a shit, and I can’t get myself to full staff levels when I’ll hire from all but the absolute bottom of the barrel, it’s crazy! 60% of everyone around here is on some kind of Government Assistance, and nobody wants to actually do anything to make any cash.
I’ve determined that the problem is not necessarily with the entitlement programs, though, it’s with the amount of money people make. It’s mathematically pointless for some people to have a job because once it gets factored into welfare, they basically work for four hours to see better money as though they had worked one hour. The food stamps they lose often equate to about 75% of what they take home from the job, so really, they’d often be working for $2.50/hour, effectively. The only types of single-mothers you really see applying get minimal state assistance because the child support is pretty good, so it’s actually worth it for them to work, they might still lose all of the food stamp benefits, but they could be working four hours to see three hours pay after that’s considered.
It’s fucking stupid. You wouldn’t even need entitlement programs if people were simply paid fairly and couples would remain married, or never get married (or have kids) in the first place. We live in a throw-away society, though. You can throw away your kids, you can throw away marriage, nobody has to commit to anything anymore…