The experience of having an identical twin is one most of us will never share. In some respects it has got to be…weird? But surely not this weird.
DEAD RINGERS
Directed by David Cronenberg
[b]Elliot, Age 9: You’ve heard about sex…
Beverly, Age 9: Sure I have.
Elliot, Age 9: Well I’ve discovered why sex is.
Beverly, Age 9: You have? Fantastic.
Elliot: It’s because humans don’t live under water.
Beverly, Age 9: I don’t get it.
Elliot, Age 9: Well, fish don’t need sex because they just lay the eggs and fertilize them in the water. Humans can’t do that because they don’t live in the water. They have to - internalize the water. Therefore we have sex.
Beverly, Age 9: So you mean humans would have sex if they lived in the water?
Elliot, Age 9: Well they’d have a kind of sex. The kind where you wouldn’t have to touch each other.
Beverly, Age 9: I like that idea. Have you heard of scuba diving? It’s just new.
Elliot, Age 9: Self Contained Underwater Breathing Apparatus.
Beverly, Age 9: Exactly.
Elliot, Age 9: [noticing a girl on porch] Are you thinking what I’m thinking?
Beverly, Age 9: Yeah, you ask her.
Elliot, Age 9: Raffaella, will you have sex with us in our bathtub? It’s an experiment.
Raffaella: Are you kidding? Fuck off you freaks. I’m telling my father you talk dirty. Besides, I know for a fact you don’t even know what fuck is.
[retreats into her house]
Elliot, Age 9: [walking away] They’re so different from us. And all because we don’t live under water.
…
Claire: Am I bad? ls that it? You gonna spank me, Doc?
Beverly: It hadn’t occurred to me.
…
Elliot: She’s an actress, Bev, she’s a flake. She plays games all the time. You never know who she really is.
…
Elliot: Well, if you don’t go and see her, I will. And I’ll tell her I’m you…and I’ll do…terrible things to her.
Beverly: What sort of terrible things?
…
Claire: Do you take drugs?
Beverly: No. Well, for pain. Pain creates character distortion. It’s simply not necessary.
…
Claire: Listen, Doctor, l think there’s something wrong with you. I don’t know what it is, I can’t put a label on it, but you’re subtly…l don’t know…schizophrenic or something. Sometimes I like you very much and sometimes you’re an amusing lay. Not much more.
…
Laura: I’ve been hearing about you and the wonderful Mantle boys.
Claire: What are you talking about?
Laura: Claire, this is me, Laura. Please don’t be coy, it’s tedious. Dear Beverly, dear Elliot. Some claim they can’t tell the difference but not me, dear. It’s obvious to me that…Well, before I say anything gauche, tell me which one you’re seeing.
Claire: You mean there’s two of them?
Laura: Don’t be an ass, dear. Of course there are two of them. They’re twins. Identical twins.
…
Claire: I bet somebody who knew you both - how shall I put it? - knew you both really well could tell the difference. Without measuring your height, I mean.
Elliot: What do you mean?
Claire: Well, Beverly’s the sweet one, and you’re the shit.
…
Claire: Elliot, let’s ease up on the bullshit for a moment. You can be honest with me. After all, I am laying both of you, aren’t l?
Beverly: Er, now, hang on a…
Claire: It’s a sweet little act you have. You soften them up with all that smarmy concern and along comes Dracula here and polishes them off.
…
Claire: I’ve been around a bit. I’ve seen some creepy things in the movie business. This is the most disgusting thing that’s ever happened to me.
Elliot: I doubt that
Claire: What is it with you, chum? You can’t get it up unless little brother’s watching?!
…
Mimsy: Dr Elliot Mantle?
Elliot: Yes.
Mimsy: Special order from Escort Embassy. I’m Mimsy and this is my sister Coral.
Elliot: Hi. Would you like some of this?
Mimsy: Sure.
Elliot: Listen, so that I know which one of you is which l’d like you…
Coral: Coral.
Elliot: Coral to call me Elly and you, Mimsy to call me Bev.
…
Elliot: You contribute a confusing element to the Mantle brothers’ saga. Possibly a destructive one. It’s not personal. I think you’re terrific.
Claire: But I just don’t have a role in the Mantle brothers’ saga.
Elliot: I suppose if you liked us both in the same way it might make things easier. It has been known to happen.
Claire: I’m sorry but I can’t.
Elliot: Am I really that different from Beverly?
Claire: You really are.
…
Beverly: What if I take something when you go home?
Elliot: I’m staying here.
Beverly: What if I take something when you go to sleep?
Elliot: I won’t.
Beverly: How will you stay awake?
Elliot: I’ll take something!
Beverly: You’ll take an upper so that I don’t take a downer? This is crazy!
…
Beverly: [crying about Claire] Yesterday, I found out she was having an affair. She’s unfaithful to me, Eli.
Elliot: Bev, you mustn’t take it so seriously. She’s a showbiz lady. What can you expect?
Beverly: [sobbing hysterically] I’m in love with her! I have to take it seriously!
…
Wolleck: Fascinating. They’re quite beautiful. What are they?
Beverly: They’re gynaecological instruments for working on mutant women.
Wolleck: Mutant women? That’s a great theme for a show.
Beverly: No, it’s not for a show. It’s not art. I’m a doctor, I need them for my work.
…
Elliot: There seems to be some problem about surgical instruments. About holding them as evidence of a disturbed mind. Do you know what they’re talking about?
Beverly: I tried to tell you, Elly! You don’t know the kind of patients we’ve been getting lately. You don’t know what’s going on out there. The patients are getting strange. They look all right on the outside but their insides they’re deformed.
…
Elliot: Don’t do this to me, Bev.
Beverly: But I’m only doing it to me. Why don’t you get along with your very own life?
Elliot: Do you remember the first Siamese twins?
Beverly: Chang and Eng were joined at the chest.
Elliot: Remember how they died?
Beverly: Chang died of a stroke in the middle of the night. He was always the sickly one. He was always the one who drank too much. When Eng woke up beside him to find that his brother was dead he died of fright. Right there in the bed.
Elliot: Does that answer your question?
Beverly: Poor Elly.
Elliot: Poor Bev.
…
Claire: Tell me about these these tools.
Beverly: Tools?
Claire: Surgical instruments? You had them with you when you came…What are they for? Beverly: They’re for separating Siamese twins.
…
Beverly: Do you think the morticulator is required, Eng?
Elliot: I think everything is required, Chang.
Beverly: Why are you crying?
Elliot: Separation can be a terrifying thing.[/b]