Let’s take a break from all the serious stuff above and explore the truly absurd and meaningless.
Howard Stern.
I didn’t like him before watching the movie…but only because people I did like didn’t like him. I had never listened to him. After watching the movie I still didn’t like him. But I didn’t like him less than I thought I wouldn’t like him.
The guy [and the movie] are, however, really, really, really funny.
But then he’s not aiming the humor at me. Me being a while male too.
Besides, isn’t this one of the truly great love stories? Even though [admittedly] they’re divorced now?
Hey, only in America.
IMDb
[b]Mary McCormack originally did not want accept the role of Alison because of Stern’s controversial reputation. She accepted the chance to audition only because she wanted to meet director Betty Thomas. When McCormack told Thomas that she was refusing the role, Thomas encouraged McCormack to listen to Stern’s radio show and meet him in person. McCormack became a fan of the show and accepted the role.
Howard Stern, Robin Quivers, and Fred Norris were still doing their morning radio show five days a week during production on the film. Every morning, they would go immediately to the set after the show.[/b]
wiki
Private Parts received positive critical praise including Siskel and Ebert, Joel Silver and Gene Shalit. Stern in particular received high praise for his acting, as did Robin Quivers and Fred Norris. Paul Giamatti was also praised, notably propelling him to stardom. Although some critics claimed that the film glossed over his use of sexual and racial humor and that it was relatively brief on recent events of Howard’s career. It currently holds a 79% rating on Rotten Tomatoes
Note: Some explicit language
PRIVATE PARTS [1997]
Directed by Betty Thomas
[b]Young Howard: Mom, we’re half Negro?
…
Young Howard: And then I hit puberty. That made things worse because my penis never got any bigger. I mean, I was hung like a 3-year-old.
…
Howard: Oh, my God, man, she’s taking her clothes off.
Fred: I guess she forgot to close the door.
…
Howard: I got to tell you something. You are gorgeous, And…And you’re a great actress and everything, but I got a wife at home. I can’t cheat on my wife.
Brittany [naked in the tub]: Then leave your underwear on.
Howard: What?
Brittany: If you leave your underwear on, then you can’t cheat. It’s just like going swimming.
…
Howard [aloud to himself]: God, let me get away with this, and I swear I’ll never stray from Alison again. Never.
…
Duke of Rock: Hey, the Duke of rock’s gettin’ ready to walk, but I want you to stick around, because we got a brand-new morning man…looks like Big Bird to me…Well, now, how about that, kiddies? He’s gonna have Kermit the Frog come in here and sing the Alphabet Song. Isn’t that somethin’? Coming up next on the Big Bird show.
…
Howard: My name is Howard Stern, and welcome to the new morning show. And we have a new feature for you. This is, uh, something special. We have a traffic copter now here at WWWW. Let’s go up to Mama Look-a boo boo day in the traffic copter. Mama, you there? Hello? Mama? Uh.
[Helicopter Flying Sound Effect]
Howard: Hello?
Howard (as MamaLookaboobooday): Yes, hello. This is Mama Look-a boo boo day, the only black traffic reporter in the Detroit area, I’m proud to say.
Howard: Pleasure to make your acquaintance this morning, Mama. Tell me, uh, what’s going on in the traffic?
Howard (as MamaLookaboobooday): First, a political statement, if I may. “Kill Kill Kill the White Man” by Eugene Mamalookaboobooday. Eugene is my pen name 'cause I wrote this while I was in the Pen. “Kill Kill Kill the white man. Kill him until he is dead. Kill the white man. Thank you.”
…
Station manager: You talk too much. And very important, I want the time and the temperature 4 times every 15 minutes, not 3…4.
Howard [on the air]: My grandmother died last night. I spent all night with her in the hospital. She…She had a car accident. Her head went right through the windshield. By the way, uh…It’s 6:45 and the temperature is, uh, 58 degrees.
…
Howard [voiceover]: Isn’t Alison amazing? She’s in town, like, 2 minutes, and already she’s got a job working with a bunch of wackos…Excuse me. Mentally challenged.
…
Howard [on the air after the station switches to county music format]: Howdy, cowpokes. Uh, I know I shouldn’t be interrupting in the middle of a song, but I got to tell you something. I know a lot of you out there really love this music, but I just don’t get it. Explain it to me. And maybe it’s 'cause I went to college, and I never drove a truck and had sex with my daddy’s sister, but… I guess what I’m trying to say is, I…I don’t think I’m the man for this job. So this is your old pal Hopalong Howie saying I quit.
…
Howard: I feel like such a loser…I don’t want to be one of these disc jockeys that runs around the country, you know, looking for work all the time. I don’t want to end up like that. It’s so sad. It’s so apparent to me now what I should be doing. I should be talking about my personal life. I’ve got to get intimate. And every time I feel like I shouldn’t say something, maybe I should just say it, just blurt it out, you know? I just got to let things fly. I got to go all the way.
Allison: You didn’t go all the way before?
…
Station manager: Did he just say “penis”?
…
Howard: But this guy wrote a good book. The author has slept with over 16,000 women, and, uh, take it from him. He says wear tight pants.
Robin: If he slept with over 16,000 women, he wouldn’t have time to put on pants.
…
Station manager: This just came from the FCC. Did you say “testicles” on the air?
…
Howard [reading Mad Magazine]: Allison, I’m in the middle of important show research.
…
Dee Dee: A woman had an orgasm on the air!
…
Howard [of Fred]: This guy is total personality. He’s electric.
…
Howard: Lesbians equals ratings.
…
Kenny [Pig Vomit]: Uh, Mr. Erlick, if I may? Put me in charge of the Stern show. Let me ride herd on him, and I’ll mold that son of a bitch into another Don Imus. When I’m through whipping him, that boy will be asking permission to wipe his ass.
…
Pig Vomit: You goddamn motherfuckers. You fucking waltz in here, and you think you know everything, don’t you? Well, I fucking worked my fucking ass off to get to New York City, and you sure as fuck are not gonna fucking blow it for me!
Howard: I was just doing character…
Pig Vomit: Barry, Jerry, clarify the situation for him, please.
Lawyer (Barry): Page 108, paragraph 3, No jokes involving flatulence, excretion, urination, ejaculation, or other bodily functions.
Lawyer (Jerry): Also, no use of the seven so-called seven dirty words. These are cocksucker, mother-fucker, fuck, shit, cunt, cock, and pussy.
…
Howard [as the Match Game host]: Our first clue up is…blank willow. Blank willow. Let’s go over to Miss Brett Somers right now. Now, Brett, what did you have for us? Blank willow.
Robin [as Brett]: The only thing on my mind, Gene, was pussy.
Howard: Uh-oh. Pussy. Hey, all right. Hey, that’s kind of wild. Pussy willow, that’s what I would have said. All right, let’s go over to Dick Nixon, former president of the United States. What did you have? Blank willow.
Fred [as Nixon]: In any language, pussy.
Howard: All right! Now let’s go to our newest member of the panel, Mr. Jackie “Jokeman” Martling. Blank willow.
Jackie: Well, Gene, I didn’t write it too neat, so I have a sloppy pussy.
Howard: Sloppy pussy! We had a sloppy and a fuzzy pussy and a very big one. All right, now, let’s keep going. Now it’s gonna get a little rougher, OK? Everybody ready? Blank a-doodle-doo. Blank a-doodle-doo. Blank a-doodle-doo. Think about that while the celebrities are writing. Here we are. Let’s go over to our Dick Nixon, our own ex-president. What do you got there, Dick? Well, it takes a Dick to know a cock, and that’s what I wrote. Cock-a-doodle-doo.
Howard: Now, that’s what I would have said. That seemed like the obvious answer. OK, let’s go to our own Jackie “The Jokeman” Martling. Jackie The Jokeman?
Jackie: My answer is “cock”, and I wrote it really big, so I have a “big cock!”
Howard: I’m afraid you can’t say “big cock” on the air. That’s a no-no.
Robin: But I just said “pussy”.
Jackie [whining]: Yeah, she just said pussy!
Howard: Well, pussy’s okay. It’s the way you say it. “Big cock” coming out of your mouth is, just not good.
Jackie: Wait a minute. I can’t say “big cock”, but you can say “big cock coming out of your mouth?”
Howard: That’s right.
Jackie: That sucks!
[Pig Vomit, very pissed off, starts running for the studio]
Fred Norris: [as Richard Nixon] Did you just say “big cock coming out of your mouth that sucks”?
Howard: So Brett, what did you write down?
Robin Quivers: [as Brett Summers] Just like the boys, Gene. I’ve got “cock”.
Howard: Do me a favor. Hold that up for a second so I can see your “cock”.
…
Pig Vomit: You’re the anti-Christ. You know that, Stern?
[shouts]
Pig Vomit: YOU ARE THE MOTHER-FUCKING ANTI-CHRIST!!
…
Researcher: The average radio listener listens for eighteen minutes. The average Howard Stern fan listens for - are you ready for this? - an hour and twenty minutes.
Pig Vomit: How can that be?
Researcher: Answer most commonly given? “I want to see what he’ll say next.”
Pig Vomit: Okay, fine. But what about the people who hate Stern?
Researcher: Good point. The average Stern hater listens for two and a half hours a day.
Pig Vomit: But… if they hate him, why do they listen?
Researcher: Most common answer? “I want to see what he’ll say next.”
…
Gloria: You know, I have to admit that I’m really not a very big fan of yours, but, in fact, l…
Howard: I know. You thought I was a disgusting, sexist, racist pig who had the maturity level of a -year-old, right?
Gloria: Yeah, exactly.
…
Pig Vomit [last lines - Pig Vomit speaks to the camera as road construction happens off-screen]: I bear no grudge against Howard Stern. He’s been very successful, and God bless him. God bless him. But I’ll tell something; I ain’t done too badly, myself. Uh, I manage a shopping mall down in Florence, Alabama. Yeah, it’s the number one mall in Colbert County. It’s number four in the state, so it’s not too bad, you know? Uh, I play golf several times a week, you know? But I’ll tell ya, if Howard woulda listened to me, I’d still be up there in radio. Still be doin’ radio, you know… How ‘bout that? That goddamn motherfucker, you know. I tried every
[jackhammer]
Pig Vomit: thing I could
[jackhammer]
Pig Vomit: think of, mold him into a proper kind of deejay, but that goddamn son-of-a-bitch
[jackhammer]
Pig Vomit: I’ll tell you, Howard Stern, man! That motherfuckin’…
[extended jackhammer and siren]
Pig Vomit: ! And I’ll say that with no shame, either! Man’s a
[jackhammer]
Pig Vomit: ! Foul-mouthed, immature… The man’s immature, you know? He’s like a
[jackhammer]
Pig Vomit: child. I’ll tell ya this much: There ain’t no God while Howard Stern’s walking the Earth, I’ll tell you that.
[jackhammer]
Pig Vomit: I gotta go.
[He walks away. To a passerby]
Pig Vomit: How 'bout that? Howard Stern, huh?
[to the camera]
Pig Vomit: Howard Stern can kiss my ass in hell!
[sustained jackhammer as Pig Vomit exits the frame][/b]